DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: Believe it or not, my son’s girlfriend was raised on an honest to God commune in Virginia. She and my son met in college and she decided to move in with him and start a family less than a year after they graduated.

She doesn’t believe in marriage, so they are not married, but they have a four-year-old daughter and a six-year-old son. My son has never been into appearances, so he sees nothing wrong with his son showing up to school in clothes that don’t fit him, shoes that are obviously on their second or third owner, and a backpack with Bratz dolls on it. His girlfriend will only shop in thrift stores or exchange clothing with those still living in her old commune.

My grandson’s hair has never been cut and he only bathes when he wants to, which isn’t often, I can tell you.

I fear my grandson is going to be picked on at school for being an oddball, which in all honesty, I have to say maybe he is.

Is it worth saying anything to my son about how much embarrassment my grandson is in for? --- LITTLE HIPPY’S GRANDMA

DEAR LITTLE HIPPY’S GRANDMA: While some kids your grandson’s age can and will be cruel, what I’ve observed is that for the most part young children are remarkably accepting of others regardless of how they look. They’ll also tolerate a wide range of behaviors so long as they don’t feel threatened by it.

Additionally, school staff will likely be keeping an eye out for any behavior targeting your grandson or any other child and deal with it directly.

You could have a conversation with your son about your concerns, but ultimately, it’s up to him and his girlfriend to make the day-to-day decisions about your grandchildren’s upbringing.

So long as they are safe, well-cared for, and loved, their parents are doing their job, even if not precisely the same way you’d do it.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: A few years ago a family moved into the house next to mine. They are a nice couple with two kids.

My only complaint is that they start doing holiday decorations the beginning of October, first for Halloween, then Thanksgiving, and then onto Christmas. They put up a crazy amount of decorations. The husband said it’s because they lived in an apartment for so long he feels like he is making up for lost time with decorating, especially for the kids.

I wouldn’t have a problem with any of this except that starting last year this family began a block decorating competition that everyone except me bought into. I’ve never felt a need to keep up with the Joneses, but all the other houses on the block already went all out with their Halloween decorations this year and I know what’s coming next.

I did do a little more last year for Christmas, but I’m not willing to go for broke on a bunch of new lights and stuff when I have perfectly good decorations already. Eventually I will invest in LED lights, but I’m not looking to do that at a time when everything is so inflated and with two kids in college and work that needs to be done around the house, especially since I like how our place looks with its old incandescent strings of lights.

My wife told me to stop nickel-and-diming and to get onboard with the spirit of the holidays. She says I’m being cheap, but seriously, Thanksgiving decorations? Doesn’t it make more sense to put the money into what we need rather than to compete for a yard sign saying we are the best decorated house on the block? --- WANT TO SPEND WISELY

DEAR WANT TO SPEND WISELY: There’s certainly a trend to put up outdoor displays for even the minor holidays. Some of the ones I’ve seen have been surprisingly elaborate.

Personally, I think your goal of gradually replacing your older incandescent lights with newer more efficient LED options makes sense.

As far as feeling pressured to start decorating for holidays you haven’t put up displays for in the past, I say let your neighbors do what makes them happy and you do what works for you, especially if you’re the one in the family in charge of the outdoor holiday décor.

DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: After three miscarriages I have just entered my second trimester with my current pregnancy. You can hardly tell I am pregnant since I am barely showing yet, especially if I dress right.

I am the last of my siblings to have a baby, even though I’m also the oldest, and it’s the same way for my husband’s side of the family. Each time we told family and close friends we were pregnant, they all got crazy excited, and then crazy disappointed when we lost the babies.

I want to tell at least our parents, but my husband and I also feel that we need to be further along in case things go wrong again.

Do you think it’s wrong to keep this pregnancy to ourselves when we know it’ll be welcome news to our families and friends? --- HAVE A SECRET

DEAR HAVE A SECRET: No, I don’t think it’s at all wrong for you to wait until you feel you’re ready to share the news of your pregnancy. While your loved ones have experienced disappointments, you and your husband have lived through your losses firsthand.

When you feel the time is right and you begin telling people about this pregnancy, don’t be shy about explaining why you wanted to wait. I imagine most people will understand.