DEAR ABBY: I'm a senior in high school and I'm stressed out about the idea of driving. I took driver's ed during the summer and passed the course. Instead of being excited about taking that first step toward independence, I'm scared to death.

I know the goal of driver's ed is to learn safety precautions in driving, but I can't shake the feeling that every time I get into a car I'm risking my life. It has taken an emotional toll on me since last summer, and I wonder if I'll ever get past this fear.

I have talked to friends about driving, and my mom is investing in more driving lessons to boost my confidence. All I'm asking for is some reassurance that driving is not as horrifying as it seems to be. A little help, perhaps? -- I'D RATHER WALK IN HOUSTON

DEAR RATHER WALK: A car is only a machine. Like any machine, in the hands of someone who is careless -- or hasn't learned to use it properly -- it can be dangerous. You have successfully passed driver's ed. You will be getting more lessons so you can practice with supervision, which should make you an extra safe driver. If that doesn't give you confidence, then it's time to take your concerns to a therapist who can help you overcome your budding phobia.

DEAR ABBY: People write so often complaining about all sorts of irritating issues, so I thought I would add a touch of positivity. I'm 27. My boyfriend of five years and I struggle a lot. We're not where we'd like to be professionally, we're often strapped for cash, and frankly, life isn't going the way we planned. But the thing is, I'm happy.

I have a wonderful man who loves me and tells me every day. He makes me smile. Even after five years, the best part of my day is coming home to see him. He comforts me when I'm sad and cares enough to worry when he's away. We plan on getting married someday, but paying rent is more important to me than an engagement ring.

In these challenging times, I'd like to encourage other people to find something positive about their lives. It can really change your perspective. -- LOVES LIFE IN ORLANDO

DEAR LOVES LIFE: That's true, and thank you for pointing it out. I spoke recently with a reader who said that when she's feeling down, she "practices her gratitudes" -- which include being thankful for a sunny day, someone holding a door for her, having friends who will listen and empathize, as well as her job, which is working with small children whose laughter and enthusiasm brighten her day. In other words, happiness is wherever she chooses to find it.

DEAR ABBY: My father is 85 and has dementia. I'm having a problem with relatives who want him to sign papers for property and medical supplies he can't use. They say that Dad OK'd them over the phone. What do I do? -- WORRIED DAUGHTER IN MONTANA

DEAR WORRIED DAUGHTER: Consult an attorney, preferably one with expertise in elder law, in order to safeguard your father's assets. You may also need to contact your father's physician, who can explain to the attorney to what degree your father's dementia has progressed and whether he is competent to be signing documents. Do not put this off -- do it now.

DEAR ABBY: Before we went on vacation, we trusted our 15-year-old neighbor "Mia" to feed our cat, take in the mail and water the plants. While we were away, she invited some of her friends and their friends to our home. Some of them she knew by their nicknames and only for a short time.

When Mia's parents learned about the party, they forbade her to go. However, she failed to mention she had left our door unlocked for strangers to enter. It was obvious when we returned that people had been there because things were out of place and garbage was left behind. We're missing about $100 worth of beer and liquor, $50 in change and $150 in old coins. Mia claims she doesn't know who was there, and her friends aren't being honest.

I'd like to get the police involved. Mia, her parents and my husband think I'm "unfair" for wanting to involve the police. I believe a crime has been committed and don't understand why I'm being treated like the bad guy when I'm the victim. The police have told me Mia would not get into trouble as long as she cooperates. Am I overreacting? -- VIOLATED NEIGHBOR IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR VIOLATED: I don't think so. The party animals who invaded your home are guilty of trespassing and theft. You should be compensated for anything that was taken and those responsible held accountable. Now that the "kids" have seen where everything of value in your house is located, you could be further victimized. You did the right thing in informing the police.

DEAR ABBY: I am recently widowed. Men I work with and the husbands of some of my friends have been hitting on me. They'll ask me out for a meal, give me big hugs -- and a couple of them have even kissed me on the mouth.

I don't lead them on, and besides, I'm a chubby great-grandmother. What drives men to do this? Do they think they're "consoling" me? When these things happen, I act as if they never did and go on as usual because to do otherwise would be hurtful to their wives, who are my friends. These men don't frighten me, but I don't understand their motivation. Do you? -- GRANNY IN HER 70s

DEAR GRANNY: There isn't a blanket explanation for the behavior you have described. Some of your friends' husbands may be trying to console you; others may have lecherous intentions. As to your male co-workers, big hugs and kisses are a no-no in the workplace and you should tell them so.

If these incidents happen repeatedly with the same people, you will have to speak up and say they're making you uncomfortable. And as to your friends' husbands, try this: Stiff-arm them when you greet them with a sweet smile, then turn your cheek when you see them coming at you.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are not religious. We believe that people are entitled to their own beliefs. My problem lies with my brother-in-law and his wife. They are two of the most judgmental, sanctimonious people I have ever known. They "hate" (their word) Mormons, Catholics, etc. How would you suggest I respond to their criticism of our "lack" of Christianity and their offers to pray for us? -- BITING MY TONGUE IN GREAT FALLS, MONT.

DEAR BITING YOUR TONGUE: If your relatives are an example of people who practice Christianity, heaven help the rest of us. If you must interact with them, practice selective deafness, and when they spout hatred, excuse yourselves.

DEAR VETERANS: I salute you for your service to this country. My thanks to each of you, as well as to the brave and dedicated men and women who are still on active duty. You are the personification of patriotism and self-sacrifice for your dedication to this country. -- ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I am in a happy and healthy long-term relationship. Since neither of us wants kids, we don't feel the need to marry. Because I don't want children, my grandmother has decided I don't deserve any inheritance. She has rewritten her will, leaving everything to my younger cousin who is the only grandchild likely to have children.

It makes me feel awful, as though I am not worthy in her eyes because of my choice. It isn't about the money, Abby. My feelings are hurt because my grandmother can't accept me without a child.

Is there a way to broach the subject without sounding like I'm just after her money? -- DISINHERITED GRANDCHILD IN COLORADO

DEAR DISINHERITED: How do you know you have been written out of your grandmother's will? Did she tell you or did you hear it from someone else?

It would not be confrontational to tell your grandmother you were hurt when you heard the news because it made you feel "less than." The decision whether or not to have a child is a personal one, and couples who don't want to be parents are likely to make less than wonderful ones.

Your grandmother may or may not have changed her will because of your choice, but it's also possible that she would like her assets to be passed down to grandchildren and beyond. You'll never know unless you ask.

DEAR ABBY: What does someone who is an older adult do when she needs to be held and listened to, and when she has no one to do this with her?

I'm sure I'm not the only woman who has found herself in this situation. What do others do when this is needed? Sometimes I just need to be held, listened to and reassured. -- IOWA READER

DEAR READER: The need for human contact is part of the human condition, and I can tell you what I did before I met my husband: When I was feeling down, I'd ask a friend for a hug, a willing ear and some reassurance. I can't imagine anyone refusing. At some point everyone needs what you're asking for.

Other ways to combat the blues include staying occupied with hobbies that interest you, socializing with friends and getting regular exercise. If readers would like to chime in and share what they do, I'll be glad to pass along their suggestions.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I stopped at a rest stop to use the facilities. I noticed a man with a little girl who appeared to be about 3 years old go into the men's bathroom. I wanted to ask if he would like me to take the child into the women's bathroom while he waited outside the door for me to return her to him, however I hesitated and didn't do it.

When my husband came back to the car I asked him what the child encountered in the men's bathroom. He said she had to pass by the urinals with the men urinating. I felt terrible for not speaking up.

Would it have been wrong to volunteer to take the little girl into the women's bathroom? Perhaps I'm too sensitive to matters like this, but I haven't seen it addressed anywhere. -- CONCERNED IN FLORIDA

DEAR CONCERNED: What the child encountered when her father took her into the men's bathroom was probably a line of men with their backs to her, and I assume he took her into the stall toilet. However, it would have been kind of you to volunteer, and probably very much appreciated.