Dear Helaine: I went to look for Advil in a hookup's medicine cabinet and I found an unused bottle of Ativan from 2013. It was stressful. It's a serial hookup, and every time we get together, the guy asks me for all sorts of life advice. So I saw the Ativan and I thought ... I could use this. He's not using it. So I took one and didn't say a word.
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I then told him I was tired of being a caretaker in my professional and personal lives, I've only met him in person four times and enough is enough! He's now texting me and leaving me voicemails, and making me feel guilty for not taking his call. My question: Should I have offered to pay for the Ativan? -- Unhappy in Lust
Dear Unhappy in Lust: No, you shouldn't have taken the Ativan, and you shouldn't have offered to pay for it, either. Ativan is a Schedule IV drug, meaning someone who sells them could spend upwards of five years in jail or be fined as much as $250,000. It's also against the law to possess a controlled substance that was not prescribed to you.
It sounds like your hookup was bad enough. Think about how much worse it would have been if legal authorities got involved. There is a reason these laws exist. The 2015 National Survey on Drug Use and Health found that among adults abusing opioids, 40 percent received them for free from a friend with a prescription.
One other thing: Unless the hookup gave you permission to go into his medicine cabinet, you shouldn't have ever seen the Ativan. You weren't supposed to know this person had Ativan, whether it was used or unused.
It sounds to me like you were snooping in someone's medicine cabinet. You've got to know that's a no-no. When you are visiting someone, you don't go through their drawers or mail, or look through their pharmaceuticals, no matter what your need or motivation. If you wanted an Advil, you should have asked.
Oh, and really last, some life advice: If you need an Ativan to get through a, uh, romantic encounter, you should get yourself out of that encounter ASAP. If you aren't enjoying yourself, what's the point?
(To ask Helaine a question, email her at askhelaine@gmail.com.)
(EDITORS: For editorial questions, please contact Sue Roush at sroush@amuniversal.com)
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