DEAR MISS MANNERS: I play a word game online, and some of my friends do this: If they're losing by a large margin and the game is nearly over, they "resign" the game and start a new one.

It doesn't matter if I had a few letters left that I wanted to figure out how to play (which to me is the fun of the game); they just feel that the particular game is done because (1) they're going to lose no matter what, and/or (2) they can only make words like "ha" or "it" with the few letters they have left.

They don't ask me if I would mind resigning the game -- they just do it. I've told these friends that I don't like that, and they argue with me that it was the sensible thing to do.

I think it's rude and poor sportsmanship. I want to have fun, down to the last two letters I get to play! So, what do you think -- is resigning like that rude and unsportsmanlike, or should I just suck it up?

GENTLE READER: Sportsmanship is a matter of behavior, and interacting quasi-anonymously through an online game robs participants of vital clues about motivation and conduct.

Were your opponent to resign by upending the game board and stomping out of the room, it would be rude and unsportsmanlike. Nor does a good winner prolong a lost game for the purpose of "rubbing it in."

Miss Manners sees no indication that your opponent is doing the former and you are clearly not doing the latter. but without contact outside of the game, there is no way to know for sure, which is why you, quite correctly, resorted to email. Having now explained your well-meant reasons to your opponent, and received his equally well-meant response, it would be gracious to accede to his wishes on the theory that as the winner, you can afford to be generous.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a co-worker who sits across from me and constantly expresses her frustrations by mumbling under her breath and rolling her eyes. She isn't doing it directly toward me, but she does it very audibly and sometimes slams her hands down on her desk as well.

It can be very irritating at times and counterproductive in the way that she spreads a lot of negativity around. Is there any way for me to say something like, "Hey, your mumbling and talking under your breath isn't very productive and causes stress. Can you keep it under control?" Should I just ignore it?

GENTLE READER: It would be better to ignore it than to relate it either to productivity or to stress, Miss Manners warns you.

The former will invite questions of how productive is the behavior that annoyed your colleague. The latter will turn the discussion to medicine and psychology, both areas in which the co-worker may find justifications for her impolite behavior.

You need not, however, do either. Simply asking your co-worker if she has something to say to the group will make it clear to her that her behavior has been noticed.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a professional transcriptionist, and I spend, literally, eight hours or more a day on solid computer use. I am very reluctant to spend my off time on yet more computer use, let alone use precious time with my family with my nose to the screen.

So I do not participate in online social media. Several of my siblings find this deplorable, that I am not "with it." Am I being anti-social?

GENTLE READER: Has it come to that -- that wanting to be with human beings, instead of machines, is called anti-social?

When Miss Manners picks herself up from the fainting couch, she might consider the possibility that your siblings have given up writing letters, making telephone calls and sending emails, and that they therefore feel that they have lost touch with you unless they can tell themselves that you are reading their posts.

So while you should ignore the bullying about not keeping up -- a tactic they should have left behind with childhood -- you might address the deeper problem. Tell them you would love to keep in personal touch and invite them to visit.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: At the end of the year, all parents in my daughter’s school get a notice sent home from the school requesting that students, as well as parents, fill out little thank-you notes in different shapes to show appreciation for the staff. Yes, we are being directed to write thank-yous. I have never heard of this, and I do not remember these requests years ago when I was in school.

In addition, another notice is given at the end of the year to parents about a staff appreciation luncheon. Parents are requested to bring in food, etc., on a certain day for the staff. Again, I have never heard of this and was wondering what your thoughts are on this subject. Besides the fact that asking for thanks seems a bit presumptuous to me, not to mention pushy, it's a bit unnatural to me.

GENTLE READER: Undoubtedly, it would be better if the parents had thought of showing appreciation to the teachers, but Miss Manners gathers that they did not. Perhaps when you were in school, they did not need to be prompted.

Socially, it is indeed gauche to ask for thanks. But at the schools, let us consider it educational for both parents and students to learn to express gratitude in writing.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: When you have plans with someone, and they call to cancel, what is a proper way to respond instead of saying, "Oh, that's OK”? The world seems to take advantage of those of us who remain flexible.

GENTLE READER: You are saying more or less the right thing, but apparently you are saying it too convincingly. How you should say it depends on the seriousness of the excuse offered.

If the person is calling from a hospital bed, it would be, “My goodness, I understand, I hope you’ll be all right.” If no excuse, or a flimsy one, is offered, Miss Manners recommends saying, “Quite all right” with a pause between each word, and cutting off further explanations.

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DEAR MISS MANNERS: There is a wonderful smartphone app that I use shamelessly to spy on my children. It's the teenage equivalent of toddler walking reins and allows me to (a) reassure myself they are where they're meant to be and there's been no mishap, (b) time dinner on the table to the minute, and (c) time pickup arrangements to the minute -- including on one memorable occasion when I needed to rescue my lost and tearful daughter.

I appreciate that at some point it will no longer be appropriate to do this to my children, but right now it is useful. I'm so pleased with it, I've told all my friends -- who have also been very pleased. The problem is that my friends now want to be able to see where I am at any given point.

Now, I don't mind my children being able to do this, or even my husband, but I don't think my friends need to know my every movement. If I want to meet up with them, I'll call and make an arrangement. If I want them to know where I've been, I'll tell them. (I don't use social media, either, for similar reasons.)

Please don't get me wrong: These are wonderful, dear people, and there are few, if any, secrets between us. I know they mean well; I just don't think they need to know my every movement.

There's a button on the app to electronically invite people, and the invitee can then accept or decline. So far I've ignored it, which doesn't seem quite nice, but I don't want to accept, and a cold decline seems unkind. I thought of saying that I thought they must have sent it to me by mistake, but am worried they might reply that it was quite deliberate -- and then what would I say?

I love these people dearly and I really want to avoid hurt feelings. How do I gracefully exclude myself from an app that I think is wonderful for keeping an eye on children, and everyone else thinks is good for keeping an eye on adults, too?

GENTLE READER: Ah. Turnabout is fair play. Miss Manners will refrain from rubbing this in -- but she can't promise the same one day from your children.

It is perfectly acceptable to ignore the request from your friends or accidentally erase it. Then if it comes up in conversation, you may deflect it as you said: "Oh, I thought this was only for spying on the children. I never dreamed it would be used for adults. How funny it would be to know a person's every move! Can you imagine?"

Presumably this would help them understand that maybe they wouldn't want to be similarly stalked.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Good friends of ours have two adult children. One recently married in a family-only ceremony with only six people in attendance. The other child is having a lavish affair at a country club, which we will attend.

We plan on giving checks as gifts. Do we give the same amount to both, even though one is inviting us to the affair while the other chose a private ceremony?

GENTLE READER: Are you under the impression that wedding presents constitute payment for entertainment?

Apparently, many people are.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)