DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son’s daughter’s mother (they never married) invited my family to my granddaughter’s second birthday dinner at her apartment. I do not want to attend, due to cruel and harsh words she has said to my son. My son has paid child support (more than asked) and has been an attentive father to his daughter.

I don’t wish to be in the same environment with someone who calls my son “sperm donor” in public.

GENTLE READER: That does sound unpleasant.

However, the prospect of rarely seeing your granddaughter would likely be more so. Miss Manners fears that if you turn down the invitation, that may be the result. Go to the party and be pleasant. The reward will be witnessing your granddaughter’s birthday and being a full participant in her life -- and maybe even modeling good behavior in the face of bad, for her mother.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When paying at the store, if I have a full basket and the person behind me has only one item, I usually let them check out first. I do my shopping in my downtime, so a couple more minutes is no big deal for me, and it saves them waiting for just a can of soda or a loaf of bread. So that’s fine.

However, sometimes, after having given up my turn, another customer will arrive behind me with just one item, as well. I feel slightly bad if I don’t let them go ahead too, having done just that for the previous person in the exact same situation. At the same time, having already given up my turn once, I’m feeling less inclined to do so again.

To be clear, I’m not talking about people trying to cut in line without asking. Those I have no qualms dealing with! But having treated one person one way, it doesn’t seem right to treat the second one differently. Depending on my mood that day, I either step aside again (and sigh inwardly), or I pretend not to notice the second comer (and feel bad about it).

I know I’m totally overthinking this, but it bugs me a little whenever it happens.

GENTLE READER: Your impulse is generous, but not required. Surely, no reasonable person would expect you to continually step aside and give up your place in line for a whole afternoon. Miss Manners suggests that you take the route of pretending not to notice -- and try to stop feeling bad about it.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We love to host at our home, and had a group of friends over a week or two after we had new flooring put in our main floor. One guest wore stiletto high heels, which is usual for her, and we didn’t think anything of it until after the party, when we discovered the heels had left pockmarks all over our new flooring.

We of course didn’t say anything to our guest, but ended up having to replace many of the boards, at not insignificant cost. Other friends have since mentioned this is not an uncommon result from this type of footwear. How can we politely avoid this in the future?

GENTLE READER: Put down the red carpet, or whatever remnants are on hand, when she comes.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know that I should not mention a pregnancy unless it is first mentioned by the mother. Are there exceptions?

I teach college and have a student who is, I would guess, around seven months pregnant. She has never mentioned her condition to me. We have a final exam scheduled for a little more than two months from now. I would like to offer her the chance to take the final exam early, in case anything else is early. However, I am not able to let every student who might want a longer vacation also take the final early.

Is there any way I can speak to her about it? I’ve known her for two months, and given the way her body has changed, and her protective patting of her tummy, I cannot imagine it is not a pregnancy.

GENTLE READER: Stifle that kindly impulse. You may be right about your student’s condition, but Miss Manners warns you that you may also be wrong -- if not about the pregnancy itself, then about the timing.

Unless the mother raises it first -- or goes into labor during office hours -- the pregnancy is not your concern. The good news is that you know someone who has all the relevant facts and, it is reasonable to assume, has decided to take responsibility for the result. If she comes to you, you can then show your good intentions by allowing her to reschedule the final.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I work as a bank teller and often give out candies or stickers to the children who accompany their parents to the bank. One of the families that frequently comes in has three young daughters and, as children do, they forget to say “thank you” from time to time.

Each time the children forget, their mother gets right back in the line and waits until I call her up. She then requests that her children apologize for not using manners at first and properly thank me for the treats.

I appreciate the fact that she is trying to raise them with good manners, but I find it to be overbearing and obnoxious. My co-workers roll their eyes and grumble about her wasting time that could be used to tend to other patrons, and other people in line seem annoyed by having to wait over such a petty issue.

I don’t want to come across as rude, but how can I get the point across that there’s no need to hold up the line and waste my or anyone else’s time?

GENTLE READER: Getting back into line seems extreme when the infraction could easily be remedied at the time of checkout.

But as the apologies should not take more than a minute, the only time being wasted that Miss Manners can see is that of the mother and children. Before you or your co-workers condemn her for being overbearing, obnoxious and petty, take a moment to think of the adult customers who fail to thank or even acknowledge you as they yell into their cellphones, or who perform any other number of checkout-line infractions, about which Miss Manners receives regular complaints. Is the extra minute this mother is taking not a good investment in your own future comfort?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My boyfriend’s friend and I have been social media friends for years. He has recently become engaged, so I wanted to message him about getting together with him and his new fiancee.

However, I discovered he has deleted me as a friend. I’m ordinarily not affected by such things. In this case, however, I am quite hurt. I really liked my boyfriend’s friend, and I am not sure what happened. Should I leave things as they are or have my boyfriend ask?

GENTLE READER: The etiquette around “unfriending” is still evolving, a process impeded both by the nomenclature and the indirectness of the interaction.

It can mean anything from a deliberate slap across the face to an inattentive address book edit. On some platforms, it may not even be a deliberate act, but one initiated by a computer doing its own spring cleaning.

In cases where intent is unclear, etiquette, as a rule, adopts the least insulting interpretation possible -- a reasonable, if un-modern, approach. Miss Manners therefore sees nothing wrong with expressing your good wishes and invitation through other means, be it a handwritten note or a willing boyfriend.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the office manager at a small company, and usually when an employee has a close loved one pass away, my boss tells me to order flowers and send them to the funeral home.

However, in the past year, my grandma and my mother-in-law both passed away and my boss told me, both times, to order flowers and send them to the funeral home.

Is that appropriate? I didn’t do it either time (he didn’t notice) because I feel like it would be sending condolences to myself and because he should have sent the flowers himself. Hopefully you can clarify what the appropriate action would be for me and for my boss in case it happens again.

GENTLE READER: Prior to the deaths in your own family, Miss Manners finds nothing wrong with your boss staffing out the flower assignments. His condolences were being sent on behalf of the company, rather than in a personal capacity, and are therefore a legitimate staff activity.

She agrees, however, that this does not extend as far as asking you to, as you say, buy flowers for yourself. He could have approached a different staff member with the task, but the gracious thing would have been to do it himself. As he had already failed in his presumed intention of making you feel that the company was interested in your well-being, you can be excused for ignoring this particular order.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If invited to a potluck function and asked to bring a dish, do I still bring a dish although I replied yes, but have since changed my mind about going?

GENTLE READER: It is rude to withdraw an acceptance to be a dinner guest, and also one to help cater the meal. So if you don’t attend but still send the dish, Miss Manners will count only one rudeness against you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)