DEAR MISS MANNERS: Occasionally I have to attend professional meetings or social activities where alcohol is served. I don’t drink due to religious considerations. I just get tea, coffee or soda.

I wouldn’t think this would be an issue, but every time, some person comes up and questions my lack of an alcoholic drink. I say it is against my religion and figure they will move on, but invariably, they say, “So you are a lapsed Catholic?” or something similar.

When I say I have never been Catholic, but instead follow a mainline Protestant religion, they still don’t back off. Instead, they challenge me like I am lying, and argue with me about my last name or my Catholic relatives. These exchanges always end with them stomping off in a huff.

Additionally, I have had two different employers ask me why I “upset” people at events. When I pointed out I was accused of lying about my religion, my employers made some sort of lame excuse, said I was the injured party, and the conversation ended. Since it was affecting my employment, I just stopped going.

Am I missing something here? Are people just much more boorish than in the past? I can’t imagine challenging people’s declared religion. And why would you care anyway what someone is consuming, or what their religion is?

GENTLE READER: Why, indeed? And why did you bring religion into the exchange?

Miss Manners sympathizes with your being pestered; she is well aware that the sight of a partygoer who is not holding a drink drives other guests to open belligerent interrogations. But that is all the more reason not to supply them with material of any kind.

The simplest defense is to ask for or hold another drink -- water or whatever -- but you are already doing that. The answer to why you are not drinking alcohol is “Because I wanted tea.” If that doesn’t end it, you could ask, “And what do you like to drink?” -- which should establish what a pathetic conversational topic that is. Or “Excuse me, I think I’ll go freshen my soda.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When you find you must exit from a theater seat during a performance, do you face those seated on your row, or face forward? I’ve never heard which is proper. I realize it must be for a good reason, and that you must excuse yourself to those you are moving by.

GENTLE READER: It is actually a two-step maneuver, although not a two-faced one. You approach those who are seated to excuse yourself, with a whisper and an anguished look to serve as an excuse for leaving during the performance, however dreadful it may be. But you then turn away to pass in front of them.

Yes, Miss Manners knows the prohibition against turning your back on people. This is an exception. Theatergoers do not want to maintain your gaze while you are blocking the stage, even if it is before the performance.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: As a licensed psychotherapist, I am being bombarded lately by clients, as well as by friends and family, asking how to deflect those who are inclined to rant and rave about politics.

Am I correct in first stating that in mixed company -- i.e., when one does not know for sure what others who are present believe -- one should always refrain from discussing religion and politics, and that doing so is actually a breach of etiquette?

May I then suggest that they might say something like, “I agree that what’s going on in the world today is distressing, so I’d like to enjoy our time together today. By the way, did you see such-and-such movie that came out recently?” Is this acceptable?

GENTLE READER: Sure. Just make sure that you caution these people against telling the ranters that they are being rude. You can trust Miss Manners that reciting etiquette rules to offenders who are minding their own business, however unpleasant that business may be, is not a polite -- nor an effective -- way to teach manners.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have tried to be respectful and calming when I am in the earshot of a serial “F-bomber.” I don’t know why, but in a family setting like a sporting event, restaurant or fireworks show, I feel like I have glass shoved in my eye with each one that I hear. Some people truly seem unable to create a sentence without using this language.

When I ask them politely to “slow down the (expletive) train,“ it usually gets twice as bad. I typically end up leaving, even though I am 6’2“, 250 pounds, and not worried about defending myself. What causes people to speak like this, and what is the best way to address the person?

GENTLE READER: A winsome 8-year-old of Miss Manners’ acquaintance has taken it upon herself to address such people, saying sweetly, “Please! There is a child present.”

This works so well, bringing a delayed-reaction smile to the faces of the offenders, that Miss Manners has granted her an exception from the rule against correcting others.

Not you, however. It would not be considered amusing from someone who is 6’2 and 250 pounds. So if you cannot be accompanied by a winsome child who knows how to deliver a line, you will unfortunately have to submit to the prohibition against monitoring the language of strangers.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My son and his fiance are moving out of the country after their wedding. How do they ask for cash or gift cards instead of using a gift registry without sounding greedy?

GENTLE READER: Guess what? Asking people to give you money -- or specific things, for that matter, in spite of that being a common practice -- IS greedy. Miss Manners will not whitewash it.

Oh, all right. What the couple can do is to say, or include in a cheery note, to friends: “As you know, we are moving abroad. It’s going to be a major chore moving all our stuff, but we hope that once we get settled, you will visit us there.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My 80-year-old husband (who is still practicing law in our community) and I attended a patriotic musical program in a local church. The emcee announced at the conclusion of the program that he supported service members, police officers, firefighters, doctors and all others who served society -- and then, out of the blue, he made some disparaging remarks about lawyers.

We were sitting on the front row and were deeply shocked. The audience did not laugh. In fact, I heard several gasps, as we are well-known in our community and I believe many people were embarrassed for us.

After the program, I told the gentleman as I was leaving that my husband was a lawyer who had practiced in his profession for 55 years helping literally thousands of people who needed legal help. I told him that our nation was founded on laws and both he and I were very proud of his profession and the work that he has done.

The man immediately apologized and said it was just a joke, entirely inappropriate, but that he had used the same joke at the last performance and everyone had laughed. I appreciated his apology, but went home thinking how cruel such tasteless jokes are.

My husband said it was not good manners for me to express my displeasure with his remark. I, however, have had enough of “lawyer jokes” and think those who hear them and are offended should speak up. In my opinion, no one should ever disparage another person’s profession.

GENTLE READER: Disparaging jokes about any profession -- and lawyers get the worst of it, but many others are targeted -- are risky as well as tasteless. More than likely, the gentleman figured this out from its tepid reception. Miss Manners guesses that this was probably a better lesson than any admonishment -- which likely only taught him the unfair and inaccurate lesson that lawyers’ spouses are even more humorless than lawyers themselves.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had the opportunity to travel with a chum to his parents’ house. Upon arrival, I saw a picture of one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. Just as my friend stated it was his mother, she came into the room. She was older and had put on a lot of weight. Is it ever polite to complement a woman on what she used to look like?

GENTLE READER: If you can do so without alluding to how awful she looks now.

“What a beautiful picture of you” is infinitely preferable, Miss Manners finds, to “That’s you?! What the heck happened?!”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is 6 p.m. considered the evening or the afternoon? My daughter-in-law put on an invitation “6:00 in the afternoon.” Just checking. I’m not sure.

GENTLE READER: It depends. Have the invitations already been sent? Evening is generally considered to start at 5:01 p.m. But if the error is in print, Miss Manners recommends that you stand by your daughter-in-law for the sake of family harmony, charmingly saying that you all hoped that if the evening never began, it could never end.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)