DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a divorced guy who is in long-term recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. I have been attending a Sunday morning meeting regularly for years.

Last week, as I was arriving for the meeting, I noticed that my ex-wife, who is newly sober, was there. I left before the meeting started. This group is important to me, but I’m uncomfortable sharing with my ex there. I really want her to find her way in sobriety. Not sure what to do.

GENTLE READER: Is talking to her an option?

Miss Manners does not ask this facetiously; she understands that exes are often not on speaking terms. But she also cannot imagine that even the angriest and most resentful one would not want the same privacy that you do if she is genuinely pursuing better health.

You might send her a message saying, “I was so glad to catch a glimpse of you at the weekly meeting and see that you are doing well. However, in the interest of us both being able to speak freely there, I wonder if you would consider attending at a different location or time.”

If there is any amount of civility in the relationship -- or at least desire to create goodwill with the other meeting attendees -- surely she will see the reasoning in this.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our office has one microwave. Generally, people are considerate of smelly food and the like during the lunchtime rush.

But one guy consistently brings in frozen microwave dinners that take so long to cook that the queue gets three or four people deep behind him. He will pop his dish in during prime time, and then leave while it cooks.

Those waiting in line are so irritated with his inconsiderate behavior that they’ll stop the microwave after he walks out and reheat their own meal, resulting in his irritation when he returns after a few minutes. It seems harsh on both sides. Words of wisdom?

GENTLE READER: Get another microwave. Barring that, Miss Manners suggests posting a helpful note that says, “Please limit cooking time during lunch hours to five minutes.” People in offices do so enjoy helpful notes.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A childhood friend is in town for two weeks with her kid. I suggested a few things that may be fun for kids: zoo, aquarium, etc.

She wants me to watch a movie with them, but does not want to meet before or after the movie, as she wants to hang out with other friends then.

Is there any point to catching up in a movie theater where we can’t even talk? It would have been different if it were the kid’s recital or sports event, but this sounds like an “I don’t want to meet you” invitation.

GENTLE READER: Indeed. Miss Manners supposes that you are lucky the friend did not suggest dropping off the kids with you and not attending altogether. She recommends you head off that option by saying, “It sounds as if you have a busy two weeks. Perhaps we can make plans the next time you are in town and have more opportunity to talk and catch up.”

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: This is a work-manners question.

As part of my job, I attend many networking events to promote the company I work for. At a luncheon, some of the other guests and I were complaining about the abundance of mosquitoes this year. A gentleman I had met a few times before said, “We should talk about my products. We have an all-natural remedy.”

We agreed to meet for coffee. At the meeting, I quickly discovered that this was a multilevel marketing company with a pretty bad reputation.

How do I decline this offer while keeping the professional relationship? He is very involved in the same professional circles, and really is a nice man who I will have to continue seeing at a lot of these events.

GENTLE READER: Business etiquette has the advantage of not being overly sensitive to the personal feelings of colleagues because they are not supposed to be a factor in doing business. Miss Manners does not lay this down as an absolute rule, but in the case of your marketing professional, it is close enough.

Thank him for his suggestion while adding that your company is more interested in a competitor. If pressed for a reason, make use of any one of the many meaningless rejoinders in which businesses delight, such as, “They just seem a better fit.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Bottled water at a funeral? My sister told me it was impolite. Why?

GENTLE READER: For the same reason you would not bring popcorn: It is informal to the point of disrespect.

Miss Manners will spare you the trouble of writing back to tell her about a medical condition that requires immediate and continuous access to water (or popcorn). Assuming you are not a goldfish, necessary liquid or food (for a diabetic, for example) can be placed in a pocket, allowing discreet access without compromising your ability to give some thought to the deceased.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Within a block radius of my home, there are three corner delis in which one can purchase canned beverages, snacks, sandwiches, newspapers, cigarettes and lotto tickets.

With growing frequency, while I am waiting in line, someone will come in, nod to (or in most cases, interrupt) the cashier and say they are leaving a dollar on the register. Then they walk out with a paper, essentially cutting the whole line since they have exact change.

A friend of mine says this is acceptable if the patron is a “usual” of the store, and doesn’t see why they would have to wait in line to buy a paper if they have exact change. But if my situation was reversed, I’d simply wait in line without issue.

GENTLE READER: As the transaction has not increased your own wait, the most Miss Manners can allow you is a wistful look expressing sadness that you are not in the position to do the same.

While what you have described does not fit her definition of cutting in line, she does not mean to excuse this technique for lengthier transactions, such as asking for directions or for something that requires more than a nodding cashier.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We moved about four years ago to a small neighborhood in a rural area, where the homes are relatively far apart and people tend to like their privacy. We have a fenced area on our property that is overgrown, and it’s been recommended to me to use goats as an environmentally friendly solution to clearing it out.

Our neighbors behind us have goats, which we frequently see grazing freely around their property. We have not met these neighbors personally (as people tend to stick to themselves here) but have heard through other neighbors that they are friendly.

What is the proper etiquette for asking if we could borrow their goats for a week or so? Should I go over with a plate of cookies, introduce myself and then ask?

GENTLE READER: It would be tempting to issue an invitation directly to the goats, if only they could be expected to answer. (“We would love to have you over. We weren’t thinking of anything formal, you understand, just some light grazing.”)

But Miss Manners believes you really ought to get to know your human neighbors first, perhaps with that cookie-laden approach. You may then, in conversation, admire their livestock and steer the conversation, and the goats, in your own direction.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a 25-year-old lawyer who worked as a law clerk for a year before passing the bar exam. When I accompany the partner to hearings where the client is present, I invariably get asked whether I am still in law school or how I like being a paralegal.

What is the appropriate response? Also, when I am in the office, sometimes potential clients will walk in and ask me to make copies for them. I usually do this graciously, but I am wondering if there is something I can say to establish the fact that I am an attorney.

GENTLE READER: Etiquette bans correcting someone’s manners. It does not ban correcting their facts -- politely.

The answer to how you like law school is, “I adored it, thank you, but I’m actually an attorney now,” combined with a winning smile that demonstrates (correctly or not) that your feelings have not been hurt.

The request for copies requires you to suppress any resentment enough to remember that while it is not your job to make copies, it is your job to make potential clients happy. This can be accomplished with, “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m an attorney here at the firm, but let me find someone who can do this for you.”

Or you could say with a smile, “You probably don’t want this at my billing rate.”

Being 25 is a time-limited problem, but Miss Manners asks that you remember your dilemma when you are a partner and have 25-year-old associates. That older version of you will be able to save associates from similar embarrassment by always making proper introductions.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)