DEAR MISS MANNERS: During our weeklong visit, our dear hosts subjected us to one of their quirks I can’t abide by. They issued each of us a cloth napkin to be used for the week. Granted, we were not eating ribs, but it still just seemed unsanitary.

GENTLE READER: Why? What else were they being used for?

Miss Manners is sorry to tell you, but saving a cloth napkin for up to a week is not only acceptable, it comes with accessories. That is the purpose of those round silver things that are too small to be bracelets. They are napkin rings. For frequent guests, Miss Manners even gets them monogrammed -- an honor, she assures you.

However, if you feel that yours is being overused to the point of being ineffective, graciously blame it on yourself. “I am afraid I over-enjoyed my dinner last night and sorely abused my napkin. I wonder if I might have a fresh one tonight. And I will try to take better care of it.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I received a bachelor’s degree in art history and am currently finishing up a master’s in another art-related field. For many years, I have often had to put up with people’s rude comments regarding my career choice.

When I tell people what degree I am pursuing, I have received responses such as (literally) “So, you want to live in a box for the rest of your life?”, “So, you want to be poor?”, “So, you want to starve?” Unfortunately, they are often not saying this in jest, and will continue to demean my profession for several minutes.

I try to make a joke out of it and direct the conversation elsewhere, but I am losing patience. Any suggestions for how to avoid this ugly situation or deal with it appropriately are appreciated.

GENTLE READER: “Yes, I suppose that’s a possibility, but at least I will live poor and starving in a beautifully decorated box.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have a toddler and an almost-1-year old. The toddler does pretty well nowadays when we eat out at restaurants, but the infant tends to spill a lot of food on the floor.

I don’t want people to think I am fine with letting my kids make a big mess for other people to clean up, so usually at the end of our meal, I get down on the floor and clean up the baby’s crumbs. I have had times in which the restaurant owners seemed appalled that we are cleaning up after ourselves and I sort of understand that (it’s probably not a good look to the other customers). What is the most polite approach for handling kid messes in public?

GENTLE READER: Small messes should be picked up as they happen. For larger ones, a reasonable effort should be made.

But much like the wallet reach when one is fairly certain that one’s restaurant companion is paying, the intent is generally more appreciated than the result. Similarly, Miss Manners suggests that the attempt to clean up should be genuine, but graciously retractable if the other party objects strongly enough.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’m a college sophomore who recently came out to his parents as a transgender man. Since I don’t live at home, this hasn’t been much of an issue -- but when I went home for the holidays, both of my parents introduced me to their friends as their daughter.

I’m a man and look like one. There’s always visible confusion on these people’s faces. For the most part, I’ve just let it slide, but it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. Should I correct my folks, or simply reintroduce myself later when I’ll be home and meeting more people?

GENTLE READER: Might Miss Manners humbly suggest the obvious: having a talk with your parents to confirm your gender and say that you want to be introduced as such, with a chance for them to ask questions and the hope that they will listen to the answers?

If this is not feasible, or the results prove unfavorable, Miss Manners suggests the possibility that their friends’ confusion could work in your favor. A firm handshake, followed by, “Hello, I’m Hank,” will likely result in their having to question your parents’ erroneous introduction. Whereby the uncomfortable conversation can be transferred to them -- once you are safely back at college.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Friends did me a huge favor. I have a 3-month-old puppy and had to go out of town for five days for a family event. The puppy sitter I originally lined up had to cancel last-minute, and I solicited help from friends.

One friend and her boyfriend generously stepped up to the plate and took care of my furry friend while I was away. Everything went wonderfully, but now I’m struggling to find the best way to show my gratitude.

I plan to write them a nice note, but beyond that, I’m not sure what the best way to thank them/compensate them would be. I likely would have spent between $150 and $250 to have a professional watch a puppy for this period of time.

GENTLE READER: If they are good friends, they likely do not expect pay -- unless young Kujo did some damage, and payment is in the form of a cleaning service.

Offering to reciprocate whenever they are in need is otherwise sufficient. But if, one day far in the future -- when you have long forgotten, and they have multiple young children -- they suddenly remember to cash in, Miss Manners warns you not to be surprised.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do you deal with people today who insist on dressing like slobs? I work in an office, and most of the females show up in flip-flops. If they could show up in pajamas, they would.

GENTLE READER: Perhaps they will. With so many working from home, people seem unable to distinguish between being in private from being out in public.

If your company does not have a dress code, Miss Manners encourages you to suggest adopting one quickly. Nonsupervisory employees, however outraged, are not authorized to be fashion police.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

GENTLE READERS: Brittany is making Tyler crazy by sending him emails in ALL CAPS. Ryan’s lunches are smelly and he leaves them sitting in the microwave while he gossips with Amanda from accounting. And everyone in the cubicle farm is tired of overhearing Dylan on the telephone bragging about her extracurricular activities.

It is hard to believe this is a place of work and not Mrs. Beacham’s third-grade class.

As no one relishes the thought of actually speaking to Brittany or Ryan or Dylan (Amanda is, surprisingly, trying to get some work done), it is quickly agreed that a memo -- or possibly a new page in the employee handbook -- is the right approach.

After that, consensus disappears.

Miss Manners to the rescue.

A great deal of time can be saved by dispensing with common, but unnecessary, debates about whether or not our subject is etiquette. It is, and there is no need to apologize for that.

It may also be passed off as ”good business practice,” “best-in-class customer service” or “fostering a safe environment in which everyone can do their best.” It may even be about creating a harassment-free work space. The handbook does not justify the jury duty policy, and it need not justify etiquette rules that should, perhaps, have been self-evident anyway.

Admitting that our topic is etiquette also helps avoid common traps.

The first is that high-sounding generalities are of no practical use. Admonitions to “dress appropriately” are too infirm of purpose. No one who wishes to keep a job intentionally chooses something inappropriate for the sales meeting.

“Professional business attire will be worn at all times” would be better, if there were any consensus on what such attire included. “Men are expected to wear dress shirts and jackets, although ties are optional” would not be Miss Manners’ choice, but it is at least clear. What that means for women is left as an exercise to the enterprising entrepreneur.

Specific kitchen rules (such as “only non-odorous foods permitted”) should be posted. If they are not followed, a rotating schedule of K.P. duty could be instituted (or threatened). And “There should be no expectation of privacy for personal conversations held in the office” ought to have a dampening effect.

Another trap is the flexibility that modern businessmen and businesswomen applaud indiscriminately -- until they find themselves in an uncomfortable position. Miss Manners is not against choices, but when choices proliferate, she has to ask whether a rule was actually necessary.

It should be obvious (but apparently is not) that the employee manual is also not the place to invent faux etiquette or to work out the pet peeves of the managing director. Or the managing director’s significant other.

If all of this seems too practical and businesslike for the office, she begs bosses at least to give some thought to who is delivering the message. No good results when the entire office agrees that the greatest offender against the new policy is the policy’s author.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)