DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband, a writer who teaches in a low-residency MFA program, sometimes comes into contact with well-known writers who come to his program to read.

On one occasion, he had to write the introduction for the work of the writer who was going to read. That person never said a word to him, even though he sat beside him at the dinner that followed.

Now, it’s true my husband isn’t one to toady up to people. He’s quiet and rather shy, but that doesn’t seem to be any excuse for that kind of rudeness. It happened again when my husband read with another well-known writer (to great applause, as it happened) and the other writer never even said a word to him (like “good reading”).

Is there a solution for this, like “Pour a bucket of water on their heads”? Or is it just “Grin and bear it”?

GENTLE READER: Although not one to defend churlishness, even in writers, Miss Manners notes that, in the situations you describe, the burdens on the well-known writers and your husband are not the same.

As the teacher of the course, your husband is the host. This means it is his responsibility to draw out his guests over dinner, perhaps even to compliment their performances. That they do not reciprocate is a justification for not inviting them back, not for sending them home wet.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What are your recommendations for dealing with people who go door to door, bothering neighbors with religious solicitations?

I don’t bring up religion in conversation, and it strikes me as brazen that others want to ambush me with an abrupt, prying assault on my privacy at my front door. Out of cowardice, these self-serving people often bring their children, so victims won’t say what they really feel about the intrusion. I’ve also heard that “witnessing” is actually using the unfortunate “audience” to test their own faith and ability to debate.

People know where to find a church if they want one. Please, what do I do?

GENTLE READER: Although she is not going to applaud knocking on someone’s door to make a sale, Miss Manners will not -- when the commodity is religion -- go so far as to say that the action itself is rude.

What follows, however, may be. The solicitor certainly has no right to insist on an audience, and the homeowner has a right to reject the offer, firmly and quickly. This means saying, “Thank you, we are not interested,” and closing the door -- without hesitation, but also without anger.

Think of what you want the solicitor’s child to understand: that you can behave decently even when dad is obviously making a nuisance of himself, or that maybe he has a point about the people behind closed doors being angry and lost?

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I own and operate a successful RV park in the Midwest. We have spent eight years keeping our park spotless and well maintained. We are friendly with our customers, and help them any way we can while they are staying with us. As a result, we have hundreds of perfect reviews on dozens of sites.

People constantly tell us what great reviews we have, and I never know how to respond. To say “thank you” feels wrong because I would be thanking them for something someone else wrote. Am I overthinking this, and “thank you” is the correct response? Or is there something else I could say?

GENTLE READER: It is not good to parse a compliment. You only seem to be challenging your admirers to flatter you even more.

In this case, they mean to congratulate you on inspiring, and presumably deserving, such good reviews. But not wanting to discourage modesty, Miss Manners suggests your saying, “We are thrilled that people seem to be happy here. We certainly try our best.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is putting your feet on a table acceptable?

GENTLE READER: Only if it is an operating table, but then, not if you are the surgeon.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Our daughter, Keira, was to be married last month. Due to COVID-19, we postponed the wedding until fall. We have sent save-the-date and save-the-new-date cards to 175 guests.

After the June postponement, our daughter and her fiance decided they didn’t want to wait to be married, so we held a small ceremony in our backyard with parents, siblings and our pastor -- 10 people in attendance. No one besides the 10 of us knows about the marriage.

It does not look like the fall wedding and reception we have envisioned will happen, either. Our church will currently only allow 10 people at a wedding, so it would be the same group as the small ceremony, with no attendants (who have already purchased dresses). It’s very important to Keira and her father to have their “walking down the aisle” moment, as well as to have a reception with friends and family present, preferably without social distancing.

The twist: Keira and her husband are both in their mid-30s and would like to start a family right away. So if the wedding is postponed again -- until, let’s say, next summer -- she could be a pregnant bride. Should we tell friends and family now that she’s married? And if so, how should we notify them? Is it tacky to have a wedding during pregnancy, or after having a baby?

GENTLE READER: Your daughter is married. No one, no matter how straight-laced, could possibly be upset about her having a baby. Nor about her having a delayed reception when social distancing is no longer required.

But Miss Manners is upset -- that you, and many others, believe that a wedding is a party that can be divorced from the act of getting married. And the well-wishers will be upset if they find that you have lied to them about the marriage. So yes -- tell them, whether formally, with an announcement, or informally.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I can’t make small talk. At a gathering, if I have nothing to say, I say nothing.

If someone asks me a question, I will certainly try to answer to the best of my ability, but that’s it. People will actually come up to me and ask why I don’t talk, and I simply tell them I have nothing to say.

Around women, it’s worse. I tend to be intimidated by women in general, which probably comes from being raised by a domineering mother. I once sat next to a woman in a class, and I was so intimidated by her mere presence, I didn’t say one word to her for the duration of the class (about seven hours). I’ve never been able to understand how most guys can just walk up to a woman and start talking. If I walked up to a woman, I would just be standing there looking like an idiot and not saying anything.

Another problem is that I don’t introduce myself to people. I have never liked my name, so I don’t offer it. If someone asks my name, I’ll certainly tell them, but they have to ask. But the main point is, around men or women, I’m just not a talker.

GENTLE READER: You put Miss Manners in mind of a father whose daughter’s college application asked whether she was a leader. His advice was to admit that she was not, but to state that she was a hardworking follower when the cause was just.

An admissions officer wrote on the young lady’s acceptance letter that the school was especially glad to have her, because the entire rest of the class -- indeed, all the applicants -- were leaders, and badly in need of a follower.

We are a society of talkers, badly in need of a listener.

You do have to learn to introduce yourself -- it is a simple formula, but the failure to do so is unfriendly -- and then to ask easy, non-intrusive questions. Don’t worry about making these clever; the most banal inquiries -- about the occasion, the weather, the location -- work best, because the other person is not challenged to come up with something original. Once you get others talking, you can be charming just by listening.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have endeavored to keep up morale during quarantine by using our nicest china, silver and crystal more frequently. Sometimes we even dress for dinner.

However, one aspect of fine dining is giving us pause. Lacking a laundress (or even a dryer), we find the laundering and ironing of damask tablecloths onerous. Is it ever proper to use placemats or to dine on a bare wood table? Are wrinkly linens better than none?

GENTLE READER: Permission to do any of the above. Polite people overlook compromises required by necessity -- even in their own households.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)