DEAR MISS MANNERS: We just attended the wedding of a close friend's daughter at a hotel. Our table's main courses, braised beef or salmon, were offered in oddly generous portions. Each plate could have fed at least four people.

It seemed like such a waste that I quietly asked for a doggie bag, as I did intend to give some of it to our dog. This raised the eyebrows of a couple at our table, relatives of the groom whom we had never met. The server said "good idea" and swiftly gave us a box. We wrapped up just the beef, nothing else. Another couple followed suit.

Our daughter, a close friend of the bride, is on bed rest in the last two weeks of pregnancy. She had asked if we could bring her a slice of wedding cake. When the servers finished serving cake to the guests, and it was obvious there was plenty left over, I politely requested a piece for "an absent guest."

The groom's relatives then roundly and loudly attacked us for being rude and "greedy" for "hoarding food." The woman told us icily, "It is NEVER OK to take home food from a wedding!"

We tried to explain, but they wouldn't listen. The woman got up and stormed over to inform the groom's parents. They made a scene, pointing at us and using words like "bumpkins." The entire room heard them. We hastily departed, humiliated. We left the beef and the cake on the table.

I am ashamed. I was just trying to do the right things: not waste food and honor my daughter's simple request. We have avoided people from the wedding since, and I don't know how I can ever talk to the bride's parents again. I keep trying to write some kind of note or letter to apologize.

But I recall my parents bringing cake home from weddings regularly when I was a little girl, with the notion I was supposed to put it under my pillow and dream of my future husband!

Were we really so in the wrong?

GENTLE READER: Well ... yes.

The boxed cake that you so fondly remember from your childhood was likely offered, not demanded. And while it may be perfectly OK to ask for leftovers at a restaurant where one has paid for the food, the same is not true at a private function where one has not.

Wasteful as it may have been, the leftover food was not yours to take. You might have reasonably gotten away with one of these transgressions, but Miss Manners is afraid that two does indeed look a bit greedy.

But while that does not justify your fellow guests' extreme reaction, it does give insight into why they thought you were treating the event like a trip to the midnight cruise buffet.

If you do write a letter of apology, do not make excuses, simply tell your hosts that you are sorry for the overstep and you hope that they will forgive you. You may also add how sorry your daughter was to have missed the event. Although, maybe do not mention that what she really missed was the cake.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When people get together and make a toast, everyone wants to clink glasses. Is that necessary? Is it OK to just raise our glasses instead of physically touching everyone's drink?

I would be very grateful if your reply could convince my friends that feelings of goodwill would still be genuine if we didn't stretch across a table to make sure every single glass connected with all the others.

GENTLE READER: It is the feelings, not the threat to the glassware, that is important, Miss Manners agrees.

If you hold your glass in front of you, look a distant neighbor in the eye, and raise your glass, that may be enough to prevent a stampede. If anyone wants to discuss the matter further, ask how the host or hostess is going to feel if you switch to a more expensive custom -- that of breaking the glasses after the toast.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am the president of a small social club. At a party, a member was approached by two individuals expressing interest in possibly joining, giving our club member their contact information.

I was delighted when our club member informed me about these two interested individuals. I was also happy to hear that they might show up at our monthly meeting to be held at my home. (This is common practice in the club, without necessarily asking for the host's permission. We only ask that the host be informed in advance, as I was.)

After thanking our club member for helping to find prospective members, I asked for their contact information. He responded by saying that he did not feel comfortable sharing their contact information without permission.

As the president of the club and the host of the upcoming meeting, was I out of line to ask for this, even though these individuals had only given their contact information to another club member (not me)? All I wanted to do was to personally greet them and formally invite them to my home for the meeting.

GENTLE READER: The sponsoring member seems to Miss Manners to be too easily made uncomfortable, as it is difficult to assail the logic that you can neither invite, nor admit, someone you cannot reach.

Rather than convince them of this, explain that you would never forgive yourself for the rudeness of not issuing a personal invitation to a guest and prospective member, and that therefore they should get their guest's permission to share the information. If this fails, it is time for a rule change, which, as president, should be easy for you to accomplish. The new rule is that hosts are to be informed of the names and contact information of meeting attendees.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a recently retired public school teacher who has gone back into education as a substitute teacher. I need to know how to properly sign email correspondence. Do I sign "Hope Fairfield, Teacher, Retired"? Or "Hope Fairfield, Substitute Teacher, Retired Teacher"?

GENTLE READER: Substitute teachers have enough trouble asserting their legitimacy in classrooms. Why exacerbate the issue? You are Hope Fairfield, Teacher. Unless, of course, you want to preface it with "part-time" in order not to invite more employment. If that is the case, Miss Manners certainly will not spoil it for you.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: If I email a non-urgent, work-related question to my manager, how many business days are generally appropriate before I should expect to receive a response?

GENTLE READER: As many as your manager feels are needed.

Miss Manners says this in all earnestness -- but not because she recognizes that employees are seldom in a position to discipline their bosses for misbehavior.

Your work activities are done at the behest of your manager: Your work is their work. One assumes that the delivery of that work will, at some point, be delayed if no answer is forthcoming, but the decision to allow such a delay is the manager's.

This is not, it should be understood, an invitation to watch deadlines expire without further action on your part. One of the joys of being an employee is that you will occasionally have to nag your boss.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend of 55 years has invited me to stay with him and his wife for the weekend. At the last minute, he said, "You can't come before 5 p.m. on Friday, and you have to leave by noon on Sunday. I don't care where you go during the day, but you can't stay here. Typically people bring what they want for breakfast, then we can pick at what's in the fridge for lunch -- but we normally don't eat lunch -- then you are on your own for supper." The next thing that came out of his mouth was, "Just get here and we'll take care of everything else."

I'm confused. I would have normally brought a gift and offered to pay for a night out and dinner. What is proper when visiting a lifelong friend?

GENTLE READER: Such an extraordinary invitation requires a follow-up, as Miss Manners can only conclude that the normal obligations of hospitality have become a burden to the host.

Offering to reschedule or stay at a hotel, if possible, may unearth what has changed. It will at least assure your host that you do not mean to be a burden, and it may remind him not to make you feel like one.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please help me handle someone at work who always talks over people. Whenever he is in a conversation and someone tries to respond, he will just keep talking like the other person isn't even present. Usually, the other person will stop to let him continue rambling on.

It's grated on my nerves for a long time. On one occasion, I tried to get my statement across by continuing to talk and raising my voice -- and he STILL continued on.

I've gotten to the point where I just don't say anything to him, and let the conversation become a monologue. I've decided he just likes hearing himself speak. How would you handle this aside from saying, "Would you shut up so I can speak?!"

GENTLE READER: Although Miss Manners frequently reminds readers that it is rude to correct another's manners, there are exceptions.

The behavior you describe will interfere with the efficient functioning of the company -- if it has not already. It is therefore up to someone in a position of authority to take the offender aside, as they would with an employee who constantly missed deadlines or tied up the copier with nonwork activities.

This becomes trickier when the offender is the boss, which is why companies hire human resource directors.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)