DEAR MISS MANNERS: I applied for a job through a temp agency in a foreign, non-English-speaking country. I received a reply with the header “Hey Ian,” and the person also used English words completely without reason.

So I responded that I do not like to be approached with that kind of language (“Hey”). He got in a hissy fit and called me rude and disrespectful. Later he sent me another email, this time with the header “Hi Ian.”

I find it very rude and very unprofessional to be spoken to in that kind of language. I am not his drinking buddy. I worked for 20 years in 4- and 5-star hotels, and I would never even dream of greeting a guest with “Hey.”

Any thoughts? Am I just too old?

GENTLE READER: Maybe just too cantankerous?

Miss Manners does not care for false chumminess any more than you do. But neither does she condone the rudeness of delivering unsolicited criticism -- never mind the foolishness of doing so to a prospective employer.

Presumably, you are in no danger of getting that particular job. But she worries about your plan to work in a foreign country when you are intolerant of differences in language usage. That foreigner may well have thought that Americans liked to be addressed as he did. It has become so commonplace that many of them must.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the proper greeting of a childless woman or man on Mother’s Day or Father’s Day?

GENTLE READER: “Hello.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a woman member of a mostly male international wine society, and I enjoy tweaking the men's noses. I can’t and won’t deny it.

I’d very much like to buy some 18-button gloves, with the option to turn back the glove part. It would be delightful to turn to my table partner and ask him, in all sweet innocence, to help me unbutton the hand part of the glove.

The problem is, I am having trouble finding the appropriate online search terms to use. It keeps giving me black gloves, but I want white kid. Might you have any advice on how to research vendors of such?

P.S. I also like to whip out my pince-nez from my grandmother’s evening bag to read the table menu.

GENTLE READER: You might find unused 18-button white kid gloves at flea markets. Fragile as they are, they were often stockpiled by ladies who might not have gotten around to using all of them.

But they would be of little use in tweaking others if those others include some who know the manners to go with the gloves and could catch you in error. Above-the-elbow gloves (“button” refers to the length, as there are actual buttons only at the hand) are properly worn on occasions when the dress code is white tie, and such occasions hardly exist nowadays.

And while you are right that the hand part is tucked back to leave the fingers bare when eating or drinking, no lady would ask a gentleman to fool with her clothing.

As for the pince-nez, you have Miss Manners’ blessing, if you think having your nose pinched is worth it. Can’t you find a lorgnette?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was at a friend’s for dinner. There were seven of us all together, and the host and hostess are quite formal.

A little background to set the mood: We sat outside by the pool, and the table was set with starched linens, lovely china, crystal and sterling silver flatware, along with beautiful candles and fresh flowers. Each course was served individually, as was dessert.

One of the guests did not eat anything on their dessert plate. Should they have told the hostess that they did not wish to partake, or accept the plate and just let the food sit uneaten?

It bothered me, knowing the hostess spent a good deal of time preparing all the food herself -- and the fact that the delicious key lime pie, fresh whipped cream and homemade chocolate truffles were all wasted.

GENTLE READER: Trust Miss Manners, the untouched pie and truffles did not go to waste. Whoever did the dishes had a nice midnight snack in the kitchen after the guests had left.

Yes, the guest who wanted to skip it could have said so, along with a gracious comment about how good it looked. But your reaction is exactly the reason why this would be risky. Those sympathizing with the hostess, as you did, or even the hostess herself, might have set up a bullying chorus of “Just this once,” “She went to a lot of trouble to make this,” and “Oh, go ahead, a little won’t hurt you.”

The solution to this non-problem is to enjoy your own dessert and stop monitoring what other people eat or do not eat.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: What is the appropriate way to refer to my brother’s long-term significant other?

“Sister-in-law” wouldn’t be correct, since they are not legally married and will likely never be.

“Girlfriend” seems too casual to correctly reflect the depth and seriousness of their relationship (they have been together over a decade, and we hope they will be together forever).

“Partner” has often been construed to mean same-sex relationships and leads to awkward assumptions and incorrect pronoun use by others.

“My brother’s significant other” makes for an awkward mouthful in the middle of whatever story it is I am telling.

I have been using “girlfriend” all these years, but we’re on the wrong side of 50 now, and with each passing year, that term seems more and more flippant.

GENTLE READER: "Para-spouse"? No, not really.

Miss Manners remembers when this first became an issue -- because people stopped using derogatory labels, especially for women in such relationships.

That is when “significant other” began to be used. Much too treacly for everyday use.

Eventually, society settled on “partner,” which is not ideal, either. It is confusing not because it describes the same sort of relationships, whether straight or gay, but rather because it also has a business usage. As in, “Our daughter just made partner.”

Never mind. "Partner" is now common usage, so that is what you should say if you want to be understood.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: While cleaning out my mom’s attic after she passed, I found love letters from my old girlfriends from 50 years ago -- well before I married my wife of 40 years. I read the letters and then tossed them, as I really didn’t want my wife or kids to see them.

I’ve had a great life, but have always held these women in my heart, as they were all special. Would it be inappropriate to send them a hello after all these years to see how they’re doing?

There is no ulterior motive. On the other hand, I'm not sure how I’d respond if an old beau contacted my wife, hence my hesitation. By the way, I don’t do social media.

GENTLE READER: It is your own conscience -- and not etiquette, Miss Manners assures you -- that should determine whether or not you contact these women. Because etiquette will definitely not help get you out of trouble if you do.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: A close friend has entertained my spouse and me several times. She is a gracious hostess and often sets out her finest stemware and tableware. My spouse tends to be informal and prefers everyday dishes and glasses to crystal and fine china.

My friend has requested that my husband not find his own beverage glass in her cupboard and instead use the ones she has placed on the drink table. I think this is a reasonable request. When I entertain, I like to use my finer party glasses and dishes, and I might be offended if a guest insisted on finding their own pieces in my kitchen cabinets.

My husband says the hostess is being inflexible, but I think he is the inflexible one when he does not abide by her preferences. Is it rude of the guest to shun the host’s finery? Or is it the host’s place to allow guests to use items from her kitchen because it suits their more casual tastes?

GENTLE READER: It is unimaginably rude for guests to rifle through their host’s cabinets. Doubly so if they think they are making a point about relative taste and formality.

Since both you and your host have made your preferences clear, Miss Manners is reluctant to help out your husband. But against her better judgment, she will offer that the only polite thing your husband could say would be, “I’m so afraid of breaking one of your beautiful glasses. Perhaps you have something sturdier for my clumsy hands.”

Then it would be up to the host to procure one, if she truly thought her glasses were in danger. But as he already betrayed his true motive with this particular host, this tactic would have to be saved for the next one.

Perhaps by then, you will have impressed upon him that his “I’m just a regular guy” attitude is not quite so endearing as he thinks.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)