DEAR HARRIETTE: I have fairly unruly hair, and I don't like to style it. I like how it looks when it's left natural. I have gotten comments about how it's not "professional," or I've been asked why I didn't put my hair into a more appropriate hairstyle. Is hair really that important? I don't want to fry my hair just to look sleek and stylish. -- Hair-Do, Indianapolis

DEAR HAIR-DO: Yes, hair matters a lot, as it helps to define your appearance. It is important for you to pay attention to your hair and develop an appropriate hairstyle for where you work. The good news is that there are so many different jobs and working environments that you don't have to choose one particular look in order to be considered professional. It sounds like the place where you do work, however, has issues with your hairstyle.

Look around and notice how other people in your company present themselves. This includes looking carefully at the range of hairstyles. If most people look conservative, you should figure out how to tame your unruly hair. Does this mean you have to fry it? Absolutely not! There are so many hair products out there that are designed to manage natural hair that may require extra styling. You may want to consider getting a consultation from a hair salon that specializes in natural hair.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A blog contacted me regarding an opportunity to have my podcast hosted on its website. I was interested at first, but then was told that I would have to pay for this "web space." I asked how much web traffic the blog gets, and the answer was about a quarter of my listeners. The blog should be paying ME for this opportunity. How do I turn it down? Should I mention how much the blog sold me short? -- Bigger Than You, Dallas

DEAR BIGGER THAN YOU: Without having an attitude, you should have a matter-of-fact conversation with this company. Let your contact know that you may be interested in housing your podcast on the site -- non-exclusively -- but that you counter with a creative opportunity for them. Point out your web traffic, noting that it is bigger than the blog's. Suggest that you put your podcast on the site, and that the two of you split whatever profits come from advertising or other promotions. Insist that you are bringing added value to the blog. As such, you think it is only fair that you both benefit from the shared experience.

If the blog remains uninterested, do not partner with it. You may want to look for other opportunities to place your podcast, either as a partnership or with a company that has significantly more traffic than yours. If you are going to pay, the investment needs to be worth it. Otherwise, pass.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am the head of a school organization that is fairly successful. We put on many events and almost always have 200 people in attendance. I hate getting cold emails from restaurants, apparel companies and school clubs about collaborating, especially when the workload is placed primarily onto me for their benefit. I have been ignoring these emails (I am busy!), but I am almost always greeted by follow-up emails. I don't have the time or desire to work with these groups. How can I respond to these emails? -- Cold Shoulder, St. Louis

DEAR COLD SHOULDER: When bombarded with solicitous emails, you do not have to feel obligated to respond. If you choose, you can take a few minutes each week to look at what has come to your inbox and unsubscribe whenever possible, or otherwise delete. I will say that it is often worth it to do a quick perusal of the email content. While 90 percent may be solicitations that do not interest you at all, there is a small chance that the perfect product or service will come your way to match your school's needs.

For example, if you have a silent auction, the many restaurants, shops, theaters and other businesses in your neighborhood may be willing to give the school a handsome gift certificate in exchange for the exposure that the gift brings them. This can be a win-win for your fundraising needs. Many schools send parents out combing neighborhoods to request such things. It sounds like your neighbors are knocking on your door. Don't slam the door shut before you take notice of what is being offered.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college student who has classes in big lecture halls. In a class of over 100 students, I mentioned an anecdote to my friend, and my TA stood up in front of the lecture hall with his arms crossed, about 6 inches from where I was seated. This was clearly a method of intimidation, but I felt very uncomfortable about his proximity to me. He didn't leave his spot for the remainder of the class. I asked him to move away from me, and he ignored me. I know it is against class policy to talk, but I mentioned one sentence and now have a 23-year-old man peering at my screen! Should I report him if this behavior continues? -- Too Close for Comfort, New Haven, Connecticut

DEAR TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT: Take a deep breath and relax for a moment. It is likely that your TA's tactics will not be repeated if you do not break the class rule again. While it may seem extreme to you, his behavior did result in the intended action: No more talking.

If the young man continues to hover near you, by all means report his behavior to the teacher first. You can then follow up with the department head. But don't assume it will happen. This could have been a one-off way for him to enforce his rule.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work in a restaurant to pay the bills. I have been promoted to manager and was happy about the paycheck, but I now have to be on the frontline of a waitress who fights with the chef all the time. I believe there was some relationship between them and they are now at each other's throats. How can I step into this fighting? They are both hotheads but provide great service at the restaurant. -- Manager's Orders, Dallas

DEAR MANAGER'S ORDERS: Speak to the chef first. Tell him how great his food is and how much the customers enjoy it. Point out that there is one serious issue you need to address with him: the way he interacts with the waitress in question. Ask him to be civil with her. As the chef, he sets the tone for how the staff gets along, and even the energy of the whole restaurant. Tell him you need him to look past whatever their issues are and to choose the high road. Ask him how you can be of help in accomplishing this.

Separately, speak to the waitress and let her know that her interactions with the chef are causing challenges in the restaurant. Point out that their interactions are unprofessional. Ask her to stop fighting with him. If she blames him or deflects, tell her that they are both responsible. And you, as the new manager, are also responsible for getting everybody on the right track.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have extremely loud neighbors. I slipped a note under their door, asking them to be quieter because I flounder in face-to-face altercations. An hour or so after I did that, they came to my door complaining about a different tenant, Sam, on our floor. They decided that she sent the note! I didn't incriminate myself to my neighbors, so now they have staged a noise war against Sam. I feel as though I am too far into this web of lies to save the neighborly relations. -- No More Notes, Chicago

DEAR NO MORE NOTES: You should have confessed that you wrote the note. Now, you have an obligation to help stop the noise war against Sam. Drum up the courage to speak directly to your neighbors. Tell them that you think it is unkind for them to be even noisier because of a neighbor. Make it clear that you don't like all the noise, either. You can bring up the noise levels tangentially by saying that it is important for everyone in the building to figure out how to get along. Admit that you think they are sometimes too loud, and the sound travels to your apartment. Ask them if they would call a truce and dial it down a bit. By speaking to them with reason and compassion, you may be able to appeal to their sensibilities. Give it a try, or you're destined to be drowned out by noise for years.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)