DEAR HARRIETTE: My acquaintance "Mark" recently committed suicide. I wasn’t that close with him, but we were both on sports teams -- I’m a lacrosse player, and he was on the baseball team. He was dating one of my teammates, but they broke up three months ago after being together for two years. He was one of those guys who was always smiling and had so many friends. He was the life of the party and a pretty good baseball player.

He wasn’t the best boyfriend to my teammate because he wasn’t loyal, but he did make her happy. I’m pretty upset about the whole situation because he was always kind to me, and I can’t imagine how she must be feeling. How can I be there for her without being overbearing? -- Lending a Hand, Bridgeport, Connecticut

DEAR LENDING A HAND: I am so sorry for your loss. Whenever a young person chooses to end his or her life, it is a tragedy that’s almost impossible to bear. I trust that you will take advantage of whatever mental health support your school offers, because this will be hard for everyone.

Reach out to your teammate. Tell her how sorry you are about Mark's passing. Ask how she’s doing and if you can be of help to her in any way. Sometimes people need to talk. Other times they need to be quiet. Check in with her regularly at first to see if she needs or wants anything. Don’t push, just let her know you are there for her.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am stressed out. I am failing two of my classes, and the semester ends in a month. I have been working with my professors to get my grades up, but I can’t figure out how to master my assignments for this class. I don’t want to disappoint my family because they have sacrificed so much for me, but I’m not sure if health science is the major for me.

My mother has always wanted me to be a doctor, but I struggle in my courses. How do I tell my family that I want to change my major because it doesn’t interest me, and I am not doing well? I just want to make them proud, but I feel like I will crush their dreams for me. -- Broken Dream, Sausalito, California

DEAR BROKEN DREAM: As tough as it seems now to tell your parents what’s going on, you must. This starts with a reality check. If you do not want to be a doctor, face that fact and tell your parents. Point out that you have worked hard to fulfill their dream for you. Not only is this not what you want for your life, but you aren’t good at the work required to get there.

Think about what you want to do with your life. Talk to an adviser to get input on how to change your major to a subject more fitting for your personality and interests. While your parents may initially be disappointed, they will rally behind you if you prove to them that you can survive and thrive in school as you prepare to become independent.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year, and things have been great. We don’t argue much, but when we do, it has to do with me wanting to go out with my girls. I’m a college student and want to have a good time, but he doesn’t trust me enough to go out. He agree that I have never done anything to cause him not to trust me, but his argument is that he doesn’t trust the other men in the environment. I’ve asked him to come out with me, but he would rather stay in the dorms. I end up giving in and staying in with him, but it’s unfair.

I’m not sure what to do because it seems like this will be an issue for the rest of our lives if we stay together. Should I break up with him, or should I accept that I’m not allowed to go out? -- Concerned Girlfriend, Philadelphia

DEAR CONCERNED GIRLFRIEND: Notice the language that you used. You speak of what your boyfriend "allows" you to do. That makes me concerned, because you should not be controlled by anyone, including your boyfriend. Of course, you want to please him -- as he should also want to please you. You also need to figure out how you are compatible and the ways in which you are not.

If you and your friends make safe choices when you go out, you will be as protected as anyone can be as you go about your life. Assure your boyfriend of the precautions that you will follow. That should include limited alcohol consumption, traveling in groups and not being the last to leave.

I do not recommend that you retreat from going out at all. You will end up resenting him for forcing you to make that choice. That is not the way to begin a life together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m a 38-year-old mother who lives in Connecticut with my 14-year-old daughter and 16-year-old son. I’m divorced from a musician, and I work as a bartender. The neighborhood I am in is not the best, and my son has been getting into trouble at school. I have decided to move back to Ohio with my parents because all of my siblings still live there, and I think my kids will have better opportunities there and finally have some stability.

I’m taking my kids away from their home and friends, but we’re struggling out here. Do you think I’m making the right decision for my family? How can I help them with this transition? -- Single Mother, Stamford, Connecticut

DEAR SINGLE MOTHER: Moving your family to a location that you can afford and that has built-in family support is smart. Naturally, your children won’t love the idea -- not at first, anyway. They are teenagers, so friends are extremely important at their age. They also are pliable. Explain to them that you are moving in order to create a better quality of life for the family. Paint a picture of what they can expect in Ohio, what activities they can participate in and where they will live. Also, point out that they can stay in touch with their friends, just from a distance.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a private tutor working in New York City. I have been working with a family who lives on the Upper East Side for six months. They have a 7-year-old son, and I love working with him and enjoy interacting with the family, too. Next fall, the family is moving to London for a job opportunity. Last week, my boss approached me about moving to London with them to continue my tutoring position with the family. All of my expenses would be paid in addition to my usual tutor salary. The offer sounds great, but I think it might be too much for me to uproot my entire life to move to London with a family I have known for only six months. Do you think I should take the risk and move? -- Tutoring Job in London, Manhattan, New York

DEAR TUTORING JOB IN LONDON: Congratulate yourself on being an excellent tutor and a trustworthy individual. That this family who has known you for such a short time has extended this invitation is proof that they value you tremendously.

Life is filled with risks and opportunities. You need to weigh the pros and cons of the move. Write down what you like about the idea and what you don’t. Be specific. List the questions that you have as well. For example, if you will be living at the family home, what are the ground rules? Will you be expected to baby-sit for the child, and, if so, what is the compensation? Can they give you a formal employment contract for a specific period, after which you renegotiate? Think through it all and ask them everything that you can imagine so that you can get comfortable with the idea. Personally, I think it sounds like a wonderful opportunity!

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a father of three beautiful girls. My wife wants to have another child. As much as I love the idea of making our family bigger and having another baby, I am apprehensive about the idea of having another daughter. Don’t get me wrong -- I love my girls more than anything in the world, but the thought of having four daughters is intimidating.

I have always wanted a son and would be ecstatic if my wife and I had a boy, but there is no way of guaranteeing that. I know that may sound selfish, but is it? Should I discuss with my wife that I want another baby only if it’s a boy? -- Yearning for a Son, Denver

DEAR YEARNING FOR A SON: You need to get realistic. There is no way that you can ensure that your wife will give birth to a son, at least not to my knowledge. If you want a son that badly, you may want to talk to your wife about adopting a boy. You can express your concerns to your wife, but be clear that neither you nor she can control the sex of the child that you bring into the world.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)