DEAR READERS: I want to wish you a happy 2019! May this year be filled with blessings of love, prosperity and comfort for each of you. I truly do wish for all of us that we can engage each other with respect and dignity, that we will make the choice to see the good in ourselves and in each other, and that we will take conscious, measured steps on a daily basis to make this dream come true.

Does that sound like pie in the sky? I hope not. I actually do believe that each of us has a tremendous responsibility to help support the movement of our society. Sometimes we think of our political landscape or the fluctuations of the economy or natural disasters or some other major issue and consider ourselves powerless. The thought often goes something like this: There’s so much going on in our world that we have little impact on it. Have you ever had a similar thought?

When you consider how many people do not vote who say that they don’t think their vote counts, you can start imagining better where many of us are. And yet, so many elections have been won by the tiniest number of votes, from a few hundred voters down to single digits. What if you had voted in that close election?

It's the same in the land of what-ifs, if you witness an injustice and say nothing. Who does that benefit? Who does it hurt? How are you affected by it? What if you stood up for the underdog at work? In the neighborhood? At school?

What if you decided to tend to yourself -- meaning your physical health, your state of mind, your home, your family -- BEFORE you stepped outside your door? What if you devoted time to nurturing yourself and your loved ones? What if you put yourself first?

What if you cultivated your own dreams? Imagine taking the time to listen to the voice inside and nurturing what it tells you. How would your life change?

People ask themselves these kinds of what-if questions at the beginning of the year. The challenge is how long do they stick to it? I want to challenge each of you to spend at least one hour each day tending to YOU. What would that look like? You can wake up an hour early and sit quietly for meditation. Take as little as five minutes and as long as an hour to be still and get anchored for the day. If thoughts arise that linger, write them down and consider whether they should be carried forward.

After your moment of meditation or stillness, stretch your body. Engage your physical self so that you fully awaken and are ready to begin your day. Make a list of what you need to accomplish, and check off the list as you move through your day. Stay focused. Notice the people around you. Be kind and mindful as you interact with others. Notice what happens when you are fully present, especially during tense moments.

At the end of each day, jot down a few highlights -- the good things and the challenges. Follow this discipline daily. After a month, review your progress. If you keep this up, you will be able to enlighten yourself about your life. You can guide your steps each day and, at the very least, make YOUR world better. Try it!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My 30-year-old son is in an abusive marriage. His wife hits him, locks him out of the house, calls him humiliating names and has alienated him from his friends and family. This has caused him to lose 50 pounds, and he has developed dangerous stress-related symptoms. He’s a shell of the person he once was. He acts confused and disoriented, rather than our smart, capable and popular son. It’s heartbreaking. He has tried to leave her, but she gets hysterical, threatens suicide and begs him to return. He gives in.

They have three small children who witness this abuse. He’s worried about the kids, but is so broken down he doesn’t feel capable of caring for them on his own. We’ve told him we will care for them, but he tells us it’s too much of a burden. My daughter-in-law refused to attend counseling after one session. My son continues to go on his own. It’s hard for us to be good in-laws when we’re aware of what’s going on. She often blows up at us if we try to talk about it. -- How to Help My Son, Raleigh, North Carolina

DEAR HOW TO HELP MY SON: Convince your son to report his wife to the police the next time she abuses him. In order for him to have a chance of breaking free from her and getting custody of the children, he will have to prove her abuse. He MUST report her. When she hurts him physically, he should take photos to document his injuries. The way out for him, unfortunately, will be through the legal system. He should also work to ensure that he has his money in order. He has you to help, which is great. You also should be prepared to testify on his behalf and against her, based on facts.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just went to pick up a prescription at my local pharmacy, and I sat down at a blood-pressure machine. It says that I am obese. I know I have gained weight, but that was a shocker. I thought I was a little bit overweight -- but not according to this machine. I have always had a hard time working out and sticking to it. I need to take my health seriously. How can I get motivated? I have two small children. I need to be healthy for them. -- Fighting Obesity, Washington, D.C.

DEAR FIGHTING OBESITY: Start with a complete physical with your doctor. Do blood work to determine your health status, and mention any concerns you may have. Ask for a nutritionist to guide you on healthy, low-calorie eating. Join an exercise class or go to the gym. See if a neighbor or friend wants to buddy with you to work out. Having support can sometimes help you to develop discipline. Let your children be your motivation. If you want to live a healthy life to be able to provide for them, post their photos in a prominent place with a note saying, “Do it for them!” Keep a journal that records your successes and setbacks. Give yourself goals for fitness and health improvements. This will help you to stay focused.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last year, my husband and I traveled across the country to visit our son and his family. Unfortunately, the visit was not a friendly one. My daughter-in-law made herself unavailable. She wasn’t rude, but she made sure she was never at home when we were there. She didn’t join us for dinners or activities. My son always made excuses.

Finally, my son told me that I had hurt her feelings. He explained that the first night we were there, I made a comment about how much weight I had gained. My daughter-in-law got mad because she assumed that I was actually talking about her. Honestly, I wasn't -- I have always had a weight problem, so I would never comment on someone else’s weight.

We have been invited to visit again and have bought the plane tickets. I am dreading it. What if I say something else that upsets her? I tend to go out of my way to greet her when speaking with my son, but visiting for a whole week is a long time to be neglected. She always seems to be on non-speaking terms with someone in her life -- family or neighbors. She is sensitive. How should I handle this? -- Lost Communication, Los Angeles

DEAR LOST COMMUNICATION: You may want to take on the role of elder in this situation and address the elephant in the room. When you arrive, greet your daughter-in-law warmly, and tell her how happy you are to see them again. Tell her and your son that you are looking forward to spending quality time together. In advance, tell her that you know you got off to a rocky start last year and that what you want most is for everyone to enjoy one another's company and for all to assume the positive.

From there, just be yourself. If tender moments occur, address them immediately. If you detect her creating distance between you, speak up and ask her if there is anything you can do to help make things easier.

DEAR HARRIETTE: About a year ago, I found out my husband borrowed $5,000 from our savings account and gave it to a female co-worker. When I asked where the money had gone, he lied to me. I recently found out the co-worker hasn’t repaid the money. She comes up with excuses, but has plenty of money to buy gifts for her grandchildren and new clothes for herself. When I reached out to her about it, she called human resources on my husband. He said no one at work likes her and she has a lot of personal problems.

Our marriage hasn’t been stable, and we need the money back. How do I get her to start paying us? I have reached the end of my rope, and my husband is no help. He gets mad whenever I ask about the money. Some advice, please? -- Show Me the Money, Milwaukee

DEAR SHOW ME THE MONEY: Sadly, this really is between your husband and his co-worker. Without something in writing that states what the agreement was, you can’t know all the details, nor do you have any protection against her. As difficult as this may be, you may never get that money back. Focus on your marriage and what you can do to address your issues. That is what is within your control.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)