DEAR HARRIETTE: I spoke to an old friend, who told me that one of his closest friends just died. He said that in the past year, he has lost most of his oldest friends and worries that he will be alone soon. He has a wife and a grown child, plus I am his friend, and he has other friends, too. But I understand what he means. Sometimes you can feel totally alone, even if you have people around. Feeling a sense of mortality when you start losing your friends is natural, I guess.

How can I let my friend know that I am there for him? Now that he is so sad, I want to make sure that he feels comforted by those of us who are still alive. What can I do or say? -- Helping a Friend

DEAR HELPING A FRIEND: Stay in close touch with your friend. Tell him directly how much you love him and care about him. Tell him you share his sadness at the loss of his good friend. Assure him that he is not alone -- you are present, along with other close friends. Over the next few weeks and months, call him regularly and invite him to meet for coffee or drinks. Text him to check on him. As time goes by, check in with him. By establishing a new rhythm with your friend, you can help him to feel better and strengthen your bond.

I did this with one of my dear friends when her husband died. We went from speaking intermittently to speaking on the phone almost every weekday morning until she died several years later. She was sad, and I think our communications helped ease her pain.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriend spends a ton of time on social media, but she doesn’t like or comment on my posts. She is blowing up social media on the regular -- making comments on many of her friends’ pages, but she hardly ever says anything on mine, and we are supposed to be a couple. Sometimes, I even feel like she is flirting with people online. When I ask her about this, she says she wants to keep her personal life private. I don’t know how I feel about that. Some of her posts sound personal, but they are with people who are peripheral to her.

I have asked her to engage with me on social media, but she doesn’t do it. Otherwise, we seem to be cool, but I don’t like being invisible when I’m supposed to be her guy. -- Invisible Man

DEAR INVISIBLE MAN: The world of social media is increasingly more complicated, in part because it is hard to separate real life from cyber life. Perhaps your girlfriend is trying to do that by keeping you and your life with her separate from her social media orbit.

Before losing your cool, evaluate whether her offline behaviors demonstrate commitment and honest connection to you and your relationship. It could be true that she wants to keep you out of the social media fray. The flirting part is another matter. Talk to her about that directly. Ultimately, both of you need to be comfortable with the ways in which you engage each other and the rest of the world, including cyber connections. Communication is key here. Talk it out, even if it’s hard to do.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A dear friend of mine has recently lost her husband of 24 years to a blood clot that traveled to his heart. She has four children who are currently in school, with one still in grade school.

I reached out to my friend to offer my condolences, and I told her I would help her and her family. When is the best time for me to extend my hand to help? I don’t have money to offer, but I do have time. I can help with homework, around the house -- things like that. -- When to Help

DEAR WHEN TO HELP: Call your friend and ask if you can come by to visit on the weekend. Schedule a time to sit down and talk to her. Check in to see how she is managing and what, if anything, she has put in place to support herself and the children thus far. Go there with clarity about what you can commit to doing to help them out. This is important because you don’t want to offer something that you cannot consistently fulfill. Think about what you can do on a regular basis and what can be one-off duties. Be mindful not to be too pushy. Just let her know that you want to support her in whatever ways you are able.

Remind your friend that there are people who love her and the children, and that she is not alone. You may want to reach out to other friends of hers to see if they are able to pitch in as well. Since she has younger children, I'm sure she will appreciate the support.

If she is reluctant to accept your help at first, do not give up. She is in mourning and trying to figure out her new life. It may take time for her to welcome your generosity.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got accepted to attend New York University to pursue a master’s degree in public policy. Words cannot contain my excitement about potentially attending my dream school -- but there is one problem. I don't have the money to pay for the tuition. The cost is way outside my budget, but I do not want to miss this opportunity. I could attend a graduate school I can afford, but I really want to attend my dream school, and I don’t know what to do. -- Fulfilling a Dream

DEAR FULFILLING A DREAM: This is a hard one. You have been accepted to an excellent school. Contact the admissions office to see if there are any scholarships or financial awards that they offer. It is less likely, though, for a graduate program as opposed to undergraduate. Ask about on-campus jobs or other opportunities that might defray costs. Work with them to see if there is any chance of shaving off some of the tuition. You can also look into securing a loan to help you pay for school.

That said, I also strongly recommend that you not go into tremendous debt. Can you recast your dream toward the actual work you want to do? Think more broadly than where you secure your degree to where you want to work. Set your sights on that. I think you should attend a school you can afford and get to the job without tremendous financial burden.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a social media message from one of my college professors. It was so nice to hear from him after more than 30 years, especially since he was a big help to me when I was struggling with some social issues at school. He believed in me and pushed me to stay focused. I hadn’t thought about him for a long time, and then I got this really nice holiday greeting.

On one hand, I feel bad about not staying in touch with my professor over the years. On the other hand, I am happy that he is still alive and doing well and thinking about me. I want to respond to him. Should I apologize for being MIA for so long, or just jump in and start talking to him? -- Reconnected

DEAR RECONNECTED: Stay in the moment and respond to him with all the joy that you feel. Tell him about what you have been doing with your life, and ask him about his own. Thank him for getting in touch with you. Suggest that the two of you stay better connected moving forward. Then take the initiative. Send him emails or give him a call from time to time. You may want to include it on your calendar or as an alarm on your smartphone. Perhaps you can call this professor once a quarter, or something like that. It will be meaningful to him for you to reach out with some consistency. You can always fill the time with stories about what’s happening in your life. As he was your teacher and encourager, he will surely be thrilled to hear what’s happening and offer advice as needed. Just make sure that you find out about his life as well. If he needs support, do your best to offer help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A good friend of mine just told me that her husband wants to get a divorce after more than 20 years of marriage. This is totally rocking my world. They have been the example of a happy, loving couple and solid parents for me and my husband -- and a whole bunch of other couples -- for years. We have been friends for at least half of their marriage. My husband and I like them both. This is so weird.

My friend doesn’t want to break up, but it sounds like her husband is done. I feel so sorry for her, but also worried for all of us. Really, they were the example of how to do it. It looked like they worked through challenges well and seemed to always figure it out. I want to be there for my friend, but I also want to think about what to do to shore up my own marriage. -- Shaken to the Core

DEAR SHAKEN TO THE CORE: It is always devastating to hear of the end of a marriage, especially one that has flourished for so long. Be an avid listener for your friend. Do not give advice or pass judgment. Just make sure she knows that you want to be there for her during this tough time. Be sure to keep what she shares with you confidential.

For your own marriage, use this opportunity to talk openly with your husband about what’s working well and what could be improved. Check in with each other to determine if you are doing well -- from both perspectives -- or if you need counseling or any course correction. Your friend’s crisis can serve as a wakeup call to the rest of your group. Take heed.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)