DEAR HARRIETTE: I was given a check by a family friend for Christmas last year, and I just found it. It’s more than a year old. I feel horrible about that, because he is close to our family. I don’t want him to think that I ignored him, and I also want to cash the check. Do you think it’s too late to deposit it? If so, do you think it would be all right for me to ask him to write me a new check? I feel a little uncomfortable because he did not write me a check this year. -- Outdated Check

DEAR OUTDATED CHECK: Sadly, many people misplace gift checks -- and other checks -- only to discover them many months or even years later. Typically, a check is no longer valid after 180 days of being issued. Hence, your year-old check is worthless. This regulation protects the issuer of the check so that money is not being held hostage for too long.

You should shred that check and chalk it up to your mistake. Since this friend did not give a check this year, you should not ask for him to rewrite it. This is your loss, but so be it. Next time you get a check, deposit it immediately. It’s a lot easier to do now that you can deposit a check electronically by using your smartphone, if you have one. If you don’t, just make a trip to the bank right away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is in high school, and she has begun to wear makeup. For the most part, it looks tasteful and appropriate for her age. The other day, she put on a lip color that was way too bright, and it was all you could see on her face. I told her that it was not the right color and that she should change it. This turned into a full-blown confrontation. She accused me of not allowing her to express her individuality. The argument escalated until I put my foot down and demanded that she take it off. That really wasn’t how I had wanted to handle the situation. How can I revisit this? I just wanted her to see that this color was not flattering. -- Bad Lip Color

DEAR BAD LIP COLOR: Keeping a healthy rapport with your teenager is key to protecting and guiding her through life. That means when you have stumbles that include inflamed emotions -- on either side -- you need to do your best to course correct right away.

Sit your daughter down and apologize for the blowup. Tell her you never meant for the discussion about lip color to escalate into a showdown. All you wanted was for her to see that the color she selected was unbecoming. Assure her that you want her to explore her individuality and that you need her to understand that your job is to help guide her steps.

What you could have done is to have her take a selfie and then look at the picture with that lip color. You can encourage her in the future to do color tests by looking at several lip colors in photos that she takes so she can make an informed choice. Remind her that a good guideline for lip color is that it should not be so strong that people notice your lips before your eyes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just watched the Lifetime series about R&B singer R. Kelly, which alleges he had sex with minors. It was horrible to watch. There were so many stories of young teenagers being abused.

I have a teenager who wants to get into the music industry, and this scared me all over again. I don’t know if the stories about R. Kelly, specifically, are true. He wasn’t convicted of these charges. I’m not so much worried about him. I’m concerned about the other predators who might be out there. How can I protect my daughter from an adult who might want to seduce her? It is so hard for teenagers to listen to their parents. -- On the Lookout

DEAR ON THE LOOKOUT: That docuseries brought to light many of the worst fears a parent has about what can happen to impressionable, hopeful young people when they are at the mercy of someone older and more powerful. As a parent, your job is to teach your teen to protect herself and to recognize when people are trying to cross the line. Experts suggest that predators are masterful at wooing innocent younger people into their clutches, so your entreaties must be clear. No touching of any kind. No late-night phone calls. No sexting or sharing of photos or suggestive commentary. No unsupervised engagements -- even in the music industry. Minors should have chaperones. As much as your teen may hate this idea, show her what’s going on in the news, including with R. Kelly, to help her know that this is serious.

Also, be aware that most sexual predators of our children are people we already know. So teach your teen to be mindful of any suspicious people in their surroundings. Do your best to build a strong rapport with your teen so that she knows that if ever she needs rescuing, at any time of day or night, you will come -- without judgment.

To learn more about what you can do to support your child and the warning signs of sexual abuse, go to: bit.ly/2LZxSuA. For more information on avoiding online predators, go to: bit.ly/2sjBDCc.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have terrible acne, and it makes me feel really insecure. I have tried to talk to my mother about it, but even though she’s in her late 30s, she still has acne too. Obviously, neither of us is doing the right thing. I have read about acne and have changed my diet, but nothing seems to help. I feel like everybody is looking at me and my skin. What can I do? -- Acne Is Killing Me

DEAR ACNE IS KILLING ME: Ask your mother to contact your doctor's office for a referral to a dermatologist. If she drops the ball, call yourself. If you have insurance, you can become proactive. Go to your pediatrician and get an examination. Then visit a dermatologist, who will evaluate your skin and give you a medical regimen to help get your skin healthy. You will likely get more dietary restrictions and guidelines. Follow them vigilantly.

In the meantime, you can stop drinking soda and limit your liquid intake to water. Less sugar and starch should aid in your overall health and skin condition.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been friends with a small group of people for most of my life. Two of them had a falling-out about three years ago, and they have not spoken since. This has put me in an uncomfortable situation. I have remained close to both "Jim" and "George." Jim wants to reconnect, but he did something that crossed the line for George, who has said that he doesn’t want me to mention Jim's name to him again. I feel like I’m stuck in the middle of a divorce, even though we are all just friends. Do I relay to Jim what George is saying? I love them both, and I wish we were still close. I believe in forgiveness, but George says he is done with forgiving Jim. -- Odd Friend Out

DEAR ODD FRIEND OUT: Don’t get caught up in their stuff. To the best of your ability, you now have to be friends individually with each of them if you choose to stay connected to them both. Do not become the messenger who relays barbs or pleas back and forth. If Jim tries to get you to talk about George, just say he has to contact him on his own. You cannot get involved. You can express your sadness to each of them that their friendship has dissolved -- but that’s it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been going to the gym religiously for about a year now. I hired a trainer there who has been helping me to get stronger, and I am finally feeling better about my body and my health. In December, I got a notification that my trainer no longer works for the gym. This is sudden. I just trained with him before I went away for Christmas. I don’t want to work with anybody else, even though the gym offered to help me get matched to another trainer. I texted my trainer, who said he is probably going to open his own studio soon. But that’s not now. I don’t get it. This guy was by far the best trainer at this gym. I want to know what happened. Should I complain to management? Something happened, and I want to know what it is. -- Workout Blues

DEAR WORKOUT BLUES: Rather than complain, you can inquire as to what happened to your trainer. It's likely management won’t tell you, though. Until he sets up his new space, you should keep going to your gym and take them up on finding you a new trainer -- even if it is for a short-term commitment. You don’t want to lose the momentum that you have built up. Continue with your workout regimen, especially now as the new year has started. Motivate yourself to stay strong and focused.

Stay in touch with your trainer. When he opens his studio, check it out to see if he offers what you need before you leave your gym. Make a wise choice for your own body, not solely out of allegiance to him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)