DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a neighborhood friend who visits his mother for three months at the beginning of the year. He is a nice guy, and we look out for each other. For the past couple of years, he has asked me to gather his mail and send it to him at the end of each week. I did it at first, but now I realize that this is a big responsibility. I don’t want to let him down, but it is too much for me to handle -- at least responsibly. My life got a lot busier with my own issues, and I have forgotten to send out his mail several times. I know that’s not right. What can I do? I don’t want to disappoint my friend. -- Not a Mailman

DEAR NOT A MAILMAN: Guess what? There is an easy and efficient solution here. Your friend can get the postal service to forward his mail to him directly for a specific period of time. It is extremely easy to do, and your friend can even handle it online. For a fee of $1, he can have his mail held, packaged and sent to his temporary location. He can have the mail redirected when he returns. The USPS will also bundle the mailing in an organized once-per-week shipment through Priority Mail, though the fee for that is higher.

Contact your friend and let him know the situation. As much as you want to help, you have not been able to be as reliable as in the past. Recommend that he use the Postal Service to deal with his mail, as it has a system in place for this need. For more information, go to: usps.com/manage/forward.htm.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband is into porn, big-time. I knew this back when we were dating, and occasionally he would want to watch porn movies while we were making love, but that ended years ago -- or so I thought. We have been married 15 years, and this hasn’t come up at all for more than 10 of them. I honestly thought this phase was over. That was until I caught him the other night watching something that was extremely raw. I suppose the good news is that he didn’t try to get me to join in, but it was disgusting. How can I get him to stop? -- No More Porn

DEAR NO MORE PORN: The pornography industry is huge for a reason: Many people engage it. Because it is so easy to access these days, many people view it in the privacy of their own homes.

You cannot necessarily get your husband to stop watching porn. You already know that you cannot control him. Tell him that it disturbed you to see that he was still watching it, and ask him to be more discreet. You can even ask him to stop viewing it, but don’t count on him following your recommendation. As long as his private viewing does not impact you personally or your family, you may need to let it go. One caution you may want to give him is to ensure that he does not use that same computer at work, as his browsing history can be viewed and possibly held against him. Also, if you have children, he must make sure that no pornographic sites are stored in the computer’s cache that they could accidentally stumble upon.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I made a big mistake on the job, and I am not sure what to do about it. I know what happened and why, and it was definitely my fault. The thing is, if I tell anybody, I am probably going to lose my job. I don’t think that an apology will be enough. My mistake cost my company money and probably damaged their reputation a bit, too. I feel horrible about it. But since nobody knows that I did it, I feel like if I just stay under the radar and make sure nothing bad ever happens again, I could get a pass. I know I will never make a stupid mistake like this again. Do you think it’s OK to stay under the radar? Or do I need to confess to my boss what I did? -- Do I Reveal?

DEAR DO I REVEAL?: There’s an old saying that the truth will always be revealed. The question in your case is whether you get in front of it, own up to your mistakes and admit what happened, or if you wait, with trepidation, for the moment that it is discovered. I vote for being upfront about the situation. Even if you lose your job, it is better to be honest. But you may be able to save your job by being proactive and letting your bosses know exactly what happened, your role in it and how sorry you are. You can ask for forgiveness and promise to help the company rebuild.

On the flip side, if you say nothing, even if you last in that job, your mistake will weigh on you. Keeping secrets is not healthy for your spirit.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently got a lovely note from a young woman I had mentored early in her career. I like her so much and had intended to stay in touch, but life got in the way. Her note brought everything back home about how close we had gotten and how fond I am of her. Being back in touch with her reminded me of how much I would like to keep her closer in my life. She is about to get married, and I would like to be there for that part of her life, too. Should I tell her? We love each other. I think she will be happy. -- Reconnecting

DEAR RECONNECTING: Given that this woman reached out to you, you know for sure that she is thinking about you. That’s wonderful. Here is your second chance at cultivating a closer bond. Tell her how much you would like to meet the person she will soon marry. Invite them to dinner so that you can get to know him and get to know her better as the woman she is blossoming into.

Take it slow. She is building a new life and is likely busy. You can call, email or text with her and occasionally try to see her. Do not ask for a wedding invitation. That is often a tricky subject. Instead, just be happy to rekindle your bond and see where it leads.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was given a check by a family friend for Christmas last year, and I just found it. It’s more than a year old. I feel horrible about that, because he is close to our family. I don’t want him to think that I ignored him, and I also want to cash the check. Do you think it’s too late to deposit it? If so, do you think it would be all right for me to ask him to write me a new check? I feel a little uncomfortable because he did not write me a check this year. -- Outdated Check

DEAR OUTDATED CHECK: Sadly, many people misplace gift checks -- and other checks -- only to discover them many months or even years later. Typically, a check is no longer valid after 180 days of being issued. Hence, your year-old check is worthless. This regulation protects the issuer of the check so that money is not being held hostage for too long.

You should shred that check and chalk it up to your mistake. Since this friend did not give a check this year, you should not ask for him to rewrite it. This is your loss, but so be it. Next time you get a check, deposit it immediately. It’s a lot easier to do now that you can deposit a check electronically by using your smartphone, if you have one. If you don’t, just make a trip to the bank right away.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter is in high school, and she has begun to wear makeup. For the most part, it looks tasteful and appropriate for her age. The other day, she put on a lip color that was way too bright, and it was all you could see on her face. I told her that it was not the right color and that she should change it. This turned into a full-blown confrontation. She accused me of not allowing her to express her individuality. The argument escalated until I put my foot down and demanded that she take it off. That really wasn’t how I had wanted to handle the situation. How can I revisit this? I just wanted her to see that this color was not flattering. -- Bad Lip Color

DEAR BAD LIP COLOR: Keeping a healthy rapport with your teenager is key to protecting and guiding her through life. That means when you have stumbles that include inflamed emotions -- on either side -- you need to do your best to course correct right away.

Sit your daughter down and apologize for the blowup. Tell her you never meant for the discussion about lip color to escalate into a showdown. All you wanted was for her to see that the color she selected was unbecoming. Assure her that you want her to explore her individuality and that you need her to understand that your job is to help guide her steps.

What you could have done is to have her take a selfie and then look at the picture with that lip color. You can encourage her in the future to do color tests by looking at several lip colors in photos that she takes so she can make an informed choice. Remind her that a good guideline for lip color is that it should not be so strong that people notice your lips before your eyes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)