DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a single friend in her 40s who has a good job and is a solid person. She told me that she is researching adopting a child. She says she loves her job and her life, but she always wanted to have children and doesn’t want to miss that chance. She wants me to support this idea.

I have two children and am a single mom, though I didn’t start out that way. I love my kids, but it is hard to manage my life, work and children. I bet this woman will be a great mom, but she needs to build a network of support. We are not close, and I cannot sign up for childcare. What can I say to her that will be supportive? -- Adopting a Child

DEAR ADOPTING A CHILD: You can be a sounding board without becoming a backup caregiver. This woman has reached out to you probably because you have children and are a single mom. You have firsthand understanding of what it takes to rear children, work and attempt to have a life. Speak honestly with her about your experiences so that she has a clear picture of what she is facing. Encourage her to talk to other moms about theirs. As you know, many women and men succeed at being single parents, despite the challenges.

If she is prepared to navigate this amazing experience, encourage her to identify and cultivate her network of support. Let her know that you do not believe you can be an active part of that network. You are stretched as far as you can go -- for now.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son has started wearing nail polish. He has always been artistic, but this is a new practice. He is 16 years old and quite independent as he comes close to the end of high school. I know he wants to explore his personality and interests without our intervention, but I am curious about the polish. I know it doesn’t necessarily mean that he is gay, but I do wonder about this choice and what is on his mind. I am open to whoever my son is becoming, and I want him to talk to me. How can I get him to open up? If he is gay or exploring it, I want to know that, too. -- What Nail Polish Means

DEAR WHAT NAIL POLISH MEANS: Stop making assumptions and talk to your son. Ask him why he started wearing nail polish. Listen to see what he says. While most straight men may not wear colored nail polish, polish itself is no clear sign of someone’s sexual orientation. At my nail salon, for example, at least 30 percent of the men coming for manicures and pedicures appear to be straight men who care about their grooming.

If you are curious about your son’s sexual orientation, ask him directly and without judgment. Tell him you want to be able to support him as he becomes a man, so you want to know what is going on in his life. Encourage him to open up to you. Know that nail polish may only be a sign of creative exploration of his personality.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a freelancer friend who has been struggling a lot in recent years. I feel bad for him -- he is trying as hard as he knows how, but it’s not working. He can’t pay his bills; his friends have chipped in as we can, but it is clear that he has to make a shift in how he earns money. Several of us have sent job postings his way, but so far, he hasn’t seemed interested.

I suggested he get a part-time job with Uber or Lyft or some other taxi service. I see so many people -- including immigrants -- earning money in jobs like that. Why can’t he? I have even seen a few guys in my neighborhood drive for a while and then open up their own small businesses. My friend seems to have a mental block around this, though. How can I help him? -- Needing New Vision

DEAR NEEDING NEW VISION: Your friend may need a bit of tough love. He is not facing reality if he hasn’t figured out that what he is doing is not working. Because those who love him have helped out whenever they could, he has been able to get by. Perhaps it is time for you to stop with the financial aid.

Remind him that you know many people, including immigrants in your neighborhood, who have gotten creative and chosen to take jobs that pay the bills, even if they aren’t first-choice jobs. Point out that we are not our work. He doesn’t have to identify with the job. He may just need to do something like that in order to tide himself over as he searches for other work. Tell him that you love him and that you see how hard it is for him to come to terms with how tough things are for him right now.

You can also suggest that he go to the local unemployment office. While he may not qualify for unemployment insurance, he may learn about job opportunities in his community as well as job trainings that may help him transition into a paying gig.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My teenage daughter sleeps whenever she has the chance. On the weekends, she will sleep until 1 p.m. -- or later. I had allowed this because I know how hard she works at her studies, and she did very well on her midterms. But now I am a bit worried. When you sleep half the day away, it’s hard to have enough time to get your chores done and be engaged in the world. I have been told that teens sometimes need more sleep because they are still growing. What do you think about this? -- Too Much Sleep

DEAR TOO MUCH SLEEP: A ton of research has been conducted on teens and sleep patterns. Growth may be a factor, but what resonates more is that the hormonal changes in their bodies affect their internal clocks, making it necessary for their bodies to rest more. At the same time, teens often struggle between social pressures of engaging their friends and social media, and doing homework and housework. Striking a balance can be tough even for adults. For teens, it’s a new experience.

Encourage a daily routine for the week and a different one for weekends that you help your teen to follow. For more ideas, go to: uclahealth.org/sleepcenter/sleep-and-teens.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My girlfriends and I have taken a trip together almost every year since we were in college. Not everybody can go each time, but we try to go because it’s a lot of fun, and it helps us to stay connected. The plan for this year is to go to Costa Rica. I had intended to go, but I was hit by the government shutdown. I should get my back pay, but my credit got dinged when I couldn’t pay my credit card bills. I feel lucky that I have a job where I can recoup the wages, but I feel uncertain about spending extra money on credit when I’m not back on my feet yet. My friends really want me to join them. What do you think? -- Push and Pull

DEAR PUSH AND PULL: Because you and your friends do these trips regularly, if you don’t go this year, it is likely that there will be another trip soon. Before backing out, go over the logistics and costs for this year. Costa Rica can be an affordable destination. Look at the details, and talk it over with your friends. Tell them your predicament, and discuss the plan openly. If you remain concerned about the expense, pass on this trip. You might also suggest hosting a gathering stateside that is affordable and still gets the group together.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I take my daughter to ballet class every week, and I have noticed one of the other girls always has unruly hair. She is a black girl, and her mom is white. It is obvious that the mom loves her a lot, but I guess she hasn’t figured out how to do her daughter's hair yet.

My daughter and I are black with curly hair similar to the little girl's. I want to reach out to this mom to tell her what products I use for my daughter, but I don’t want to offend her. I know how prickly moms can be. How should I approach her? -- Unruly Hair

DEAR UNRULY HAIR: I have been in this situation before, and it is tough. Often, there is a heightened sensitivity among mothers of children of different races who are trying to figure it all out.

It is likely that this mom has already gotten her fair share of advice from people, some delivered more lovingly than others. Tread lightly. You can ask her privately if she is open to talking about hair. If she is, tell her the truth about what you have learned about tending to curly hair, what products you use for your daughter and what you think might work for her. If she is open to the discussion, ask her if you can share some samples of product with her. You might make a care package to deliver at the next dance class. Be discreet. This may open the door to a larger conversation that can build trust.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)