DEAR HARRIETTE: Since I was young, waking up in the morning and starting my day has always been a struggle, along with my lifelong battle with anxiety. I am starting a new job, and I face my anxiety every morning. I overthink everything that I need to do before I get out the door for my commute. I get so anxious and overwhelmed that I am regretting taking the job and am considering the possibility that I may never have a normal life. What can I do? My anxiety is ruining my life. -- Scared Early Bird

DEAR SCARED EARLY BIRD: You should speak to a therapist to address your anxiety. If you have clinically diagnosed anxiety, there are medical treatments that may be able to help you dramatically change your state and help you to cope with your daily routine.

Beyond that, you can also do things to help yourself. Years ago I learned that it is wise to plan your day the night before. That includes reviewing the schedule of the day and preparing for it. Select the clothing that you will wear based upon the day’s requirements. Pack your work bag. If you bring your lunch to work, prepare it and bag it so that all you have to do is retrieve it from the refrigerator. Do everything you can the night before so that when you wake up, you are executing your plan rather than contemplating what the plan should be. This can cut down significantly on any discomfort you may be feeling.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My soon-to-be-ex-husband and I have two teenage kids. We have been married 20 years but have been separated for the past five. I have a boyfriend of two years, but I still live at home with my family. My boyfriend and I recently had a baby, and we are now looking for a home of our own to buy while my divorce is finalized.

The issue is that my ex-husband cannot let go. We all get along well, which I am thankful for, but he makes me feel like he is too comfortable with the situation, which makes me uncomfortable. Now he has invited my boyfriend and my newborn to come live together with him and my kids as a big blended family. Everyone is happy, but I just do not think this is the answer. Am I being closed-minded? Should I embrace this new family? -- Newly Blended

DEAR NEWLY BLENDED: You say that you currently live at home with your family. Does that mean that you still live with your soon-to-be-ex-husband and your children? If that is true, it is kind and thoughtful of your ex to invite you to stay and to welcome your boyfriend. Did you have the baby while living at home with your family? Again, if that is so, it makes sense that your ex would imagine that you would be planning to stay. You haven’t left yet.

I also think it’s a good idea for you to move and establish your own home with your new family, in close enough proximity to be able to stay close to your children. Your job now is to work out your family dynamics with your ex and with your new partner. Since you have children, you will have to work it all out together to create harmony.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a landlord with two tenants in a two-family home. My tenants do not get along. They are always emailing and calling me to complain about what the other has done. I have never had so many issues with tenants before. With quarantine, I guess they became too much for each other and finally the police were involved. At this point, I no longer want to rent to either of them. They are both currently month-to-month. I have been speaking with my lawyer to figure out the best way to ask them to leave. Is there anything else that I can do beforehand? Should I have the three of us sit down and lay out some ground rules? What is the best route for this conversation? -- Landlord Mediator

DEAR LANDLORD MEDIATOR: If you are trying to force these people to move out, you must work closely with your attorney. Depending on where you live, it can be very difficult to evict tenants. You need to follow the letter of the law in order to ensure that you can get them out.

I do not recommend inviting them to a group sit-down discussion. You want them to go because they don’t get along. You are past the stage when mediation will calm them.

Figure out the timeline through the law. Then let them know individually when they must leave. Be prepared to get pushback that may require you to go to court. Document everything so that you have clear, provable reasons for needing them to go.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a 4-month-old daughter with a woman I never dated exclusively but was hanging out with for a while. When she told me she was pregnant, I asked about any other men, and she said there was no one else. I accepted that, and my family and I stood by her the whole pregnancy. I love my daughter with all my heart, and we co-parent great.

Recently, her ex-boyfriend's friend reached out to me suggesting I get a DNA test. I went back and forth about doing a test for myself since the day my daughter was born. Rumors about our child have circled so much that I finally decided to get a test done to end the drama. I never believed that she was not my daughter because I knew in my heart she was mine. But when I received the results, it turned out she was not mine. The news put me in a dark place, and I am having a hard time letting her go. I dropped everything in my life to move to another state to be closer to her. I'm so hurt by the news. I'm lost as to what to do. -- Heartbroken Father

DEAR HEARTBROKEN FATHER: Your daughter is yours, perhaps not by blood, but surely by love. Unless the biological father steps up to take care of this child, you should consider continuing in this role. Further, if you are in a relationship with this woman, sit down with her and map out your future. There is no reason why you cannot make a family with her and the child if that is your shared choice.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex-husband was the product of an extramarital interracial relationship. Both of his parents -- the ones who raised him -- are white, and he has always denied he was biracial, despite the obvious physical characteristics that say otherwise. We have two beautiful teenage children who have been raised believing they are white.

We recently took ancestry tests, and what I believed to be true has been confirmed: My children have 25% African DNA. Since our divorce 12 years ago, my children have been raised very open-minded, and for this reason, I don't believe they will struggle with this new information, but I'm concerned about the questions they will ask, how much information to give them about their grandmother's choices and how to deal with their father, who I know will be furious when he finds out. Please help! -- White Mom

DEAR WHITE MOM: Your children should know their true identity. Start by sharing with them the results of the DNA test. Tell them what you know and that you suspected their father was biracial, though it was never revealed to you. Make it clear to them that your father's family chose to have him live as a white man, so he will likely be unhappy about this revelation. Families have secrets; that doesn’t make them bad people.

Prepare your teenagers to understand that they may not get all of the answers that they may want. They can ask their father about his roots, but who knows what he will share, especially since he wouldn’t tell you?

If it is true that his mother had an extramarital affair that produced your ex-husband, that is a complicated situation that his mother chose not to address. They may not get the satisfaction that they will desire when they start their research, but it is worth a try to learn more about their heritage.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am 77 now. Forty-six years ago, I had the opportunity to have a nose job. To this day, I have NO regrets. My nose had a large hump that lowered my self-esteem. Later, when I found a picture of my grandmother, I realized that, unknowingly, the doctor had configured my new nose to the same pleasant shape. I think this was a “God opportunity" afforded to me. May your reader -- of course after having a doctor check the person's health -- feel the relief and comfort that my nose job has given me. Thanks for allowing me to share my story. -- Nose Job

DEAR NOSE JOB: Your story is an inspiration for many who grapple with the question of whether or not to have elective surgery, especially something that can so dramatically change your appearance. I agree with you that if you make the choice for rhinoplasty, it is best that your new nose have a natural look that is reflective of your family lineage, if at all possible. Then it is easier for you to enjoy your refresh without creating the need for too many questions and unnecessary input.

As you point out, having this type of surgery can mean the world to a patient. You are living proof that it can improve your self-esteem. Thank you for sharing.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)