DEAR HARRIETTE: My son's 16th birthday is coming up and he asked if he could gather a small group of friends in the park in our neighborhood to celebrate. He spent a lot of time planning something that would be safe. This includes having no food so that people would keep their masks on 100% of the time, presetting 6-foot markers in a circle so that the teens stay separated, and having me check in with parents in advance to make sure all kids have approval.

I thought it was a good idea, all things considered. My husband thinks it is too risky. The group would be less than 10 kids. I think we should let him celebrate. The number is within the guidelines. How can I convince my husband to give a little? -- Party Time

DEAR PARTY TIME: Do more research to make sure that the guidelines continue to allow for small gatherings of 10 or fewer outdoors. Since COVID-19 outbreaks are increasing, you want to make sure that the rules haven't changed. Suggest that the two of you attend the party -- from a distance -- so that you can monitor their distancing. Your son won't like that, but this compromise might work for your husband.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that the election is over, I thought I would feel better. But the drama continues. I just can't take it anymore. People are still hunkering down on their political sides and arguing about the future. I thought that in America once the election was over, people were supposed to work together. What is happening to our democracy? What can I do to help? -- Frustrated

DEAR FRUSTRATED: Many people share your emotions around the turmoil surrounding the 2020 presidential election. Because some recounts are continuing, the final decision is not fully settled -- in some minds. While that process plays out, what the citizens can do is think about the future.

You are right. In this democracy, we are supposed to be able to agree to disagree and to be cordial even when we don't win our candidate or our ideals. A goal of our democracy is for us to work together even when we don't agree on everything, to assume that we all want what is best for the American people. If you adopt the attitude of being a team player and looking for ways to come together with your neighbors, your co-workers and others in your community, you may begin to feel more hopeful. 

You may want to get in touch with local officials in your community to learn how you can be of help in the political process. I'm sure that city council meetings are happening online, and other public gatherings of officials are accessible via technology. Now may be the time for you to get more involved. Volunteering politically and also with community organizations can help you to feel useful during this period.

COVID-19 has made it harder for people to engage, but technology is making it possible for us to support each other. Get involved. It should help you to be more hopeful. 

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been living in my rental home for three years now. My landlords don’t allow any pets whatsoever. I have asked about all types of pets: bunnies, cats, dogs, birds. The only pet that they allowed me to have is a fish.

Last week, I went out and rescued a dog from the pound. I caved in. He is very well trained, does not chew or scratch and is potty-trained. I can’t think of any reason why my landlords wouldn’t want him in the house because he does not have bad habits like some animals. I am taking a risk here, but what is the worst that could happen if they do find out about the dog? Could they terminate my annual lease? -- Secret Dog-Lover

DEAR SECRET DOG-LOVER: Yes, your lease could easily be terminated because you are breaking a hard-and-fast rule that your landlords have put in place. Particularly since you have challenged them on more than one occasion trying to get them to soften and allow you to have a pet, and they have never agreed, you are in a precarious position. Know that this is not fair to the animal if you are told you have to get rid of the dog or move.

Now is the time that you have to decide. How important is it for you to live in this building? Which is more important -- having a pet or living there? Once you decide, you will either need to give your dog to someone who can be responsible for it or move to a building that welcomes pets. It is that simple.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I feel like my mom is always working against me. Anytime I ask her to help me with something, she will do the opposite of what I asked her to do. If I don’t ask her for any help, she finds a way into my business and makes a bad decision. I guess it’s just her being a mom, but my mom has fairly bad judgment and often makes situations worse for me.

I want her in my life, but it's becoming draining having to fix things after she has involved herself. I just want her to love me and let me handle my own business from now on, but I don’t have the heart to tell her to back off. Any pointers? I’m scared of breaking her heart. -- Mama, I Got It

DEAR MAMA, I GOT IT: You are an adult, and it’s time you acted like one. You need to set boundaries around your relationship with your mother. Lovingly tell her how much you value her, but that you need to make your own decisions for your life. Tell her that it is important for you to handle your affairs independently of her. If she pushes back by saying she just wants to help you because she is your mom, tell her the best way she can help you is by giving you space to make decisions, even if that means you sometimes may make mistakes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been trying to buy a house for the past year. I feel like every time I find something that I want and that will work, something goes wrong. I have all of my money and credit in order and am ready to pull the trigger, but there’s a problem with either the property company, the lender, the Realtors, the sellers or the house, or something else will feel off that makes me hesitate on finishing the contract. I have had to back out of four different deals for all different reasons.

I am ready to give up and stay where I am and keep renting. I am unhappy where I am, but I feel like anything new is going to be a step down now. I need some light to keep me focused. How can I stay motivated? -- It's Never Right

DEAR IT’S NEVER RIGHT: Have patience. Buying property is a big decision. Trust your instincts. It’s better that you walked away from four different deals than to have signed yourself and your resources into something that you regret.

Pause for a moment and think about what you really want in a house. What are your top priorities? Write them down so that you can have your list top of mind as you consider other properties. Take your time and follow your list. You will find the right property for you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My job has a promotion open, and I want to do my best to get noticed and be considered for the position. There are many people at my job that have the same idea in mind, and it is like a madhouse at work. Everyone is crunching to get their work done and trying their best to help out the big boss.

I don’t want to be ordinary and do what everyone else is doing. I want to be unique, but I don’t know what I can do to stand out. I’m doing my work and volunteering where I can. I come to work early and leave last. What else can I do, and what do bosses expect when looking for the right person for a promotion? -- Best Candidate

DEAR BEST CANDIDATE: Think about the position. What are the requirements for it? What does your company need to be successful? What qualities do you have that are well-suited for the role in question? Why are you "the one” for this role? Spend time answering these questions. This is where your uniqueness comes in. What about your education, job experience, personal experience and relationships makes you particularly right for this role? What about your temperament, ability to work with others and perspective on the work at hand are assets for your company?

After you consider these questions very specifically, write down what stands out about you for this role. You need to be able to answer the question “Why me?” in terms of why you should be hired. Once you have that answer, consider writing up a proposal that pitches you for the job, telling your employer what you can offer to add to the bottom line, describing your brand of leadership. You can proactively offer your pitch to your employer, making it clear that you are interested and prepared to do the job. Meanwhile, continue to do your work to the best of your ability with as pleasant an attitude as possible.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)