DEAR HARRIETTE: I've been a diversity, equity and inclusion coach for about six years now, and it's been a great experience -- I love working with professionals of all ages and helping them learn, grow and educate themselves. In 2020 I realized that the demand for DE&I coaches was much higher than it had ever been before.

In 2022, however, the interest in that field has dropped off so much that I'm finding it hard to get booked for coaching. It's as if my work is no longer relevant to larger companies. Is it because DE&I coaching has become less effective? Or could the demand for my work have just completely disappeared? What advice can you offer a DE&I coach who isn’t booking nearly as many jobs today as I was two years ago? -- Struggling Coach

DEAR STRUGGLING COACH: There was a groundswell of interest in diversity, equity and inclusion after the murder of George Floyd and the subsequent commitment of corporate America, in particular, to educate its workers about how to be more sensitive and inclusive. Many factors played into that moment, including the fact that most people were isolated during the period of quarantine, and companies needed to find ways to engage their teams and show them that they truly cared. People who had never even done DE&I work were hired to help open the eyes of people about how to treat each other.

Now, that wave has subsided. Companies are figuring out how to manage a hybrid workplace, remain profitable and move forward in an ever-changing work environment. Attrition is at an all-time high, and companies are focused on how to curb that far more than how they are treating people who are different from each other. To survive and thrive, you need to pitch yourself and your services as essential to the future. Position your work as vital to the health of the working world given how diverse the workforce is becoming. Get creative in your pitching and be sure to point out how long you have worked in this field. Your longevity should be appealing, as it proves you didn’t just jump in like so many others.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend called and asked me if her daughter could come to stay with me for a few months because she wants to see if she can make it in my city. These people are very nice, and I want to help, but right now my husband and I are going through what is likely going to be a divorce. We are in the throes of figuring out our lives, and it isn’t pretty. We haven’t talked to anybody about it, but it is happening. Our son just moved out, and we are finally dealing with our issues. How do I say no to my friend and give her a reason without revealing what’s going on in my personal life? -- Bad Timing

DEAR BAD TIMING: You can say no without a long explanation. Tell her that this is the worst possible time for you. You are going through some personal challenges, and you cannot welcome her daughter at this time. Apologize for not being able to accommodate her, but keep your answer as no. Later, after the dust settles, you can reveal the details.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend recently started doing stand-up comedy. He is usually hilarious, but I found his on-stage act more offensive and played-out than funny. We are both Indian, and the jokes he made were centered around poking fun at our culture. My friend and I have spoken in the past about how annoying it is when comedians mock their parents' accents and make tacky jokes about being children of immigrants. The audience was probably 90% white, and they all found the jokes hysterical, but I feel like my friend was selling out. If you can’t make jokes without offending people, maybe comedy isn’t your calling. Would I be wrong to approach him about his material? Am I being too sensitive? -- Bad Jokes

DEAR BAD JOKES: I remember when Dave Chappelle walked away from millions of dollars because he realized making fun of his own people was too high a price. Your friend has to figure out how much is too much. You can help him by sharing your honest opinion. Remind him of his previous thoughts about jokes pertaining to your culture. Tell him exactly what bothers you and why. Let him come to his own conclusion. In the end, it is up to him.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend is shorter than me. We always knew this and laughed about it at first. Recently, we have been going to dress-up events, and I have worn heels. Nothing too high, like 1 1/2 inches or so. The thing is that he is already an inch or so shorter than me, so my heels make a difference. I used to wear 3- or 4-inch heels. I feel like this is already a huge compromise, but he is still unhappy. No matter what I do, I will never be shorter than him. How can I deal with this? I do not have a complex about height. I do not want to have to wear flats for the rest of my life, either. What can I do? -- Middle Ground

DEAR MIDDLE GROUND: You never know what the deal-breakers are in relationships. This is your chance to find out. Remind your boyfriend that you are taller than he is. Uncomfortable for him? Yes. But real. Tell him you don’t care about the height difference, but you do care about how you dress. Tell him that you want to be able to dress your best, which means wearing dresses and heels sometimes. If he truly cannot handle you putting on heels that emphasize the height difference, you have a problem. You simply are taller than he is. You need to talk about this, let him know what makes you feel good, including occasionally wearing heels. Express your concern about him being uncomfortable with the shoes your wear. Tell him this is a deal-breaker, considering that in stocking feet you are taller than he is, anyway. His reaction will let you know if there is a future to consider or if the dance is done.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend invited me to go on a trip with him next month. I spent most of my extra money on holiday gifts and travel. I cannot afford to spend extra money on a trip before I recoup some of my expenditures from Christmas. How do I tell him this without making him think I’m asking him to pay my way or making myself look poor? I’m not poor. I just wasn’t planning on traveling for a while. -- Taking a Trip

DEAR TAKING A TRIP: Talk to your boyfriend about this. Tell him how you planned out your end of year and that you do not have any extra money to take another trip in the first quarter of 2023. Make it clear that you would love to travel with him. Ask him if you can delay the trip until you are financially ready. If he says he is happy to pay for it, make it clear that you do not have any disposable dollars to add to the vacation. Tell him you would feel more comfortable if you could contribute to the excursion. If he insists, reinforce the point that he will have to foot the entire bill.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just learned that the man I have been pining over for years is a lowdown dirty dog. I guess I knew it already, but I always dreamed that he would become honest and true with me whenever he realized I was his real woman. I know that sounds crazy, but I mean it. Anyhow, I just talked to a woman he was recently in a relationship with, and what she told me turned my stomach. This dude was so rude to her that it was crazy. Instead of acting like a grown man, he behaved worse than a teenager when faced with a conflict in his relationship. This isn’t the first time that I have heard of his silly behavior. I have always overlooked it because I have had feelings for him forever. I can’t help but see what this woman just told me. I want to confront him to ask why he would do such a thing, but it isn’t my business. He did introduce me to her. He always introduces me to his women. Do you think I should say something, or should I walk away, for real this time? -- Not My Man

DEAR NOT MY MAN: How many more examples of bad behavior do you need to learn about this man before you give up? The best thing he may have done for you is not become intimately involved with you. If he consistently treats the women he dates with disrespect, you should count yourself lucky that he has spared you. That does not mean, however, that you are immune to his ways. Let’s hope that he respects you enough not to subject you to his worst self. Instead of waiting for the moment when he proves your suspicions, yes, just walk away. You don’t need more examples of his inappropriateness. Leave now.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)