DEAR HARRIETTE: When I got pregnant later than expected, people started asking why it took my husband and me so long to have a baby. Soon, many began offering their opinions, suggesting that we should have more children. I feel overwhelmed by all the comments, especially since they don’t understand our situation. It’s as if they think they have the right to decide what’s best for our family. We are still figuring things out and aren’t ready to make any decisions about adding more children just yet. I don’t know how to respond without seeming rude or dismissive. How can I politely tell them that it’s our choice, and they aren’t the ones who will decide what’s best for us? -- Unwanted Opinions

DEAR UNWANTED OPINIONS: People always have opinions about others’ lives, especially when it comes to children. For some reason, they feel they have the right to share their views with others. This does not mean that you have to accept their thoughts or always bite your tongue when those opinions are offered.

The next time someone begins to tell you what they think you should do in your family planning, stop them. Interrupt and firmly say something like this: “Thank you for wanting to share your opinion on this matter, but we are fine, and we are making decisions on our own.” Then pivot. Walk away. Change the subject. If they persist, tell them you are not interested in discussing this with them. This is a private, personal matter that you will not talk about.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I have been married for over a decade, and we own and run a family business, which means we spend nearly every waking moment together. We handle the stress and demands of the business, and then go home together every evening. At first it felt like a bonding experience, and we were excited about building something together. As time has gone on, though, the constant togetherness is starting to put a strain on our relationship. Lately, we’ve found ourselves bickering over minor things, and it seems as though we’re losing the romantic, personal connection we once had. It feels as if the business has consumed so much of our lives that we rarely get a chance to step back and enjoy being a couple. Sometimes it’s hard to separate our roles as business partners from our roles as husband and wife. We’re both committed to the business and want it to succeed, but we also want to protect and nurture our marriage. How can we find a healthier balance between our work lives and our personal lives so we can reconnect and enjoy each other’s company again without the business always intruding? -- Too Close

DEAR TOO CLOSE: Sounds like you both need hobbies or other activities that give you time away from each other. There’s nothing wrong with that. Consider taking classes or assuming other extracurricular engagements that will take you away from each other for a few hours a week. It will give you time to express yourselves and be alone.

You may also want to plan a vacation together. Choose a location that you both will enjoy where you can relax and not think about work. This may help reignite some passion in your relationship.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 60-year-old mother of two adult sons, ages 38 and 32. Both of them are completely dependent on my husband and me for financial support. My husband and I have always been relatively well-off, and we never hesitated to provide them with everything they needed and wanted as they grew up. I felt it was a way to show our love and support, but now I fear we may have enabled them to the point that it’s affecting their ability to stand on their own two feet. Currently, both sons are unemployed, and they seem to rely on us for nearly all their expenses, from rent to bills -- even spending money. This dependency has put a strain on our relationship with them and with each other, as my husband and I have different opinions on how to address the situation.

I worry that by continuing to support them financially, we’re reinforcing this cycle of dependency and preventing them from learning important life skills and financial responsibility. Yet the idea of withdrawing support makes me feel guilty, as if we’re abandoning them during a time when it’s hard to find stable employment. How do we approach this situation in a way that encourages them to become self-reliant while still showing them love and support? -- Dependent Adults

DEAR DEPENDENT ADULTS: You already know that you have done your sons a disservice by always paying their living expenses. It’s never too late to make a change. You can show them your love in another way by telling them the cold, hard truth: You will not live forever, and you cannot take care of them forever. They need to become independent men who are capable of caring for themselves and building their own lives. Don’t cut them off immediately, but give them a timeline to secure employment and find a place of their own to live. They need to be pushed. They will not like this and may become bitter at first, but they need to assume responsibility for themselves.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend, "Dencio," and I became lovers at an early age. At first, Dencio's mom was strongly against our relationship, believing we were too young and still had school to finish. Despite her disapproval, we continued seeing each other, thinking our love would be enough.

Recently, I found out that I am pregnant. We were shocked by the news, and Dencio’s mom was furious when she learned the truth. Now we don’t know what to do next. We’re unsure whether we can stay at Dencio’s mom’s house, and we wonder if we should separate. Should we try to make things work under difficult circumstances, or is it time for us to live independently and figure things out on our own? -- Young and Pregnant

DEAR YOUNG AND PREGNANT: Now is the time for you to stay together and figure out what you are going to do. Will you keep the baby or put it up for adoption? These are tough questions that you should make together -- probably with your parents’ input, since they will ultimately have to help if you keep the baby. Now is the time to grow up and behave like adults.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Happy Thanksgiving! This time of year is always a favorite for me as it stands for family, community, good food and positive energy. I believe we all can appreciate a big dose of all of that right now! I trust that you are choosing to put yourself in the company of people who love you. There is nothing better than experiencing love. I encourage you to claim it, first with self-love and second by being in the company of others.

For me, this Thanksgiving is especially meaningful because my daughter turns 21. What an amazing journey we have had together thus far. It felt like a miracle when I was pregnant at age 42. My doctor called mine a “high-risk pregnancy” due to my age. She gave me many precautions. I had had a miscarriage three years earlier, so I was especially jittery about how this pregnancy would go. Yet somehow, I was overwhelmingly hopeful.

When I was pregnant, I called my daughter my angel and believed with all my heart that she would be perfect -- and she is. I have continued to see her through that lens: She is my angel. She is a joy to be around, to engage in conversation and to observe -- especially now.

Reaching adulthood brings with it many experiences and opportunities. As her mother, I see her as officially beginning to step into her power and practice the lessons she has learned along the way with greater authority. I think about her and her friends and the many young people who are coming of age in our world, and I am hopeful. It is their turn to lead. They are inheriting all that generations before them have left -- some of it good, some not so much -- but it will be theirs to navigate. We need our young adults to be conscious of their environments and each other as they make choices for their lives and, in turn, their world. We need them to be curious enough to dig deeper than whatever algorithm points them in a warped direction. We need them to be resilient and resourceful.

They need us to be their cheerleaders and sometimes their guides, but more often than not their supporters. We need to give them space to exercise their own ideas, to make mistakes and to learn from them and grow. For parents and other caring adults, this can be extremely difficult. It can be hard for us to give them space to be, but that is what they will be most grateful for -- our respect, patience and unconditional love. So I dedicate my column today to gratitude, sensitivity and awareness. Each of us has a chance to see others through tender eyes. Those of us who have spent some time on the planet have the responsibility to pave the way for the next generation and to allow them to be themselves. We have to trust each other and find kind ways to express ourselves. It is then that we all can prosper. I give thanks for this and pray that we all can remain aware of how to walk together toward the best possible outcomes.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)