DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate and his girlfriend constantly bicker, and I always end up being dragged into the middle of their arguments. It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m being forced to pick sides when I don’t even want to be involved at all. To make matters worse, I can’t help but feel bad for his girlfriend because, frankly, my roommate is wrong most of the time. He’s selfish, dismissive of her feelings and stingy when it comes to sharing expenses or treating her to a nice date. I can tell she’s unhappy with how he treats her, but for some reason, she stays with him.

The other day, my roommate came to me asking for advice about their relationship, and I felt conflicted. On one hand, I want to be honest with him and tell him he’s the problem, but I also don’t want to ruin our friendship by being too blunt. I’ve always tried to stay neutral, and I made a rule for myself not to give people advice about their relationships because it never ends well, but now I feel trapped because I know he’s in the wrong. I feel bad enabling his behavior by saying nothing. Should I stay out of it and abide by my rule, or should I tell him the truth, even if it risks our friendship? -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Do your roommate a solid and talk to him openly. Tell him that you have worked hard to stay out of his relationship as you know it’s none of your business, but since he has repeatedly asked you for advice, you have one thing to offer: You believe that he could treat his girlfriend better. Your observations are that he could be more thoughtful, more generous and kinder. He may appreciate your candor. He may not have had positive role models to help guide him toward loving, supportive behavior, so your insight may prove helpful to him. Tread lightly, though, and be gentle. You are right not to want to be in the middle of his drama.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college professor, and I’ve noticed that one of my students has been struggling significantly in my class. At first, I thought it might just be an issue with the material, but after observing their behavior and performance, I have a strong feeling that it’s tied to factors outside of the classroom. This student, who was once engaged and consistent, has started turning in late assignments, missing classes and appearing distracted when they are present. I’ve tried reaching out casually during class breaks or after lectures, but they seem reluctant to open up. I don’t want to pry too much or make them uncomfortable, but I feel responsible for creating a supportive environment where they feel comfortable seeking help if they need it.

As a professor, I’m unsure how far I should go in addressing this. I want to help, but I also don’t want to overstep my boundaries or assume too much about their personal life. Should I continue trying to approach them, or should I step back and let them come to me if they’re ready? -- Student in Need

DEAR STUDENT IN NEED: Try one more time by inviting the student to office hours. Ask how things are going. Express that this student’s patterns have changed, and you noticed and wanted to check in. Inquire if there is anything you can do to support them at this time. Offer to listen if they want to talk. Remind them that your door is always open. Your department head or dean may have additional insight regarding campus services that might benefit this troubled student.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been friends with this guy for two years, and over time, I’ve started to feel like our connection might be more than just friendship. He’s always been kind, thoughtful and supportive, and I really enjoy spending time with him. Lately, I’ve caught myself looking at him differently and wondering if he feels the same way about me. There are little moments -- like when we lock eyes, share a laugh or have deeper conversations -- that make me think he might like me as more than just a friend, too.

The problem is that we’re both shy, and neither of us seems willing to take the first step. I don’t want to ruin our friendship by misreading the situation or making things awkward, but at the same time, I can’t shake the feeling that there’s potential for something more between us. I’m torn because I value our friendship so much, and I don’t want to risk losing it. I also can’t help but wonder what could happen if one of us were brave enough to make a move. Should I wait for him to say something, or is there a way for me to express how I feel without putting too much pressure on him or our friendship? -- Timing

DEAR TIMING: Be brave and go for it. Invite your friend to do something that involves just the two of you. You know him, so think about what he likes to do for fun. Is there a festival or community activity that you two could attend that would be fun but not too intimate? Is there a movie that you’ve discussed? What activity would interest both of you? Ask him if he would like to do this with you, and see how he responds. Since you are not asking him to date you, this can be a safe first step.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have the privilege of working from home as an executive assistant to a veterinary medicine professional. My job requires me to manage a lot of on-call appointments and real-time scheduling, which demands focus and attention. While I enjoy the flexibility of working from home, it comes with its own set of challenges. One of the biggest disruptions is my neighbor, “Aurora,” who has a habit of dropping by unannounced. Although I genuinely enjoy her company and value our friendship, these interruptions are starting to affect my productivity. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to balance being polite with staying on top of my responsibilities. I don’t want to hurt her feelings or come across as unfriendly, but I need to find a way to set clear boundaries. How can I communicate this in a way that preserves our friendly relationship while ensuring I can focus on my work? -- Need Space

DEAR NEED SPACE: Get or make a sign that says, “Busy Working” or, “Do Not Disturb -- Working,” and hang it on your door. Or, if necessary, lock your door. Talk to your neighbor and remind her that, yes, you work from home, but you do have real office hours and responsibilities. As much as you like her, you cannot stop in the middle of your day to chat with her. You have to get your work done. Ask her to honor your request that she not disturb you during the workday.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been trying to declutter my home for months, focusing on makeup, dresses and other items that no longer serve a purpose, but I keep getting stuck. Every time I start sorting through my belongings, I find myself emotionally attached to certain things, even though they’re no longer necessary. The challenge is especially difficult with items that were given to me by my ex-boyfriend, whom I loved deeply. These things hold sentimental value, and letting them go feels like letting go of a part of my past, which I’m still trying to move on from. I know that decluttering would bring me peace and a sense of accomplishment, but my attachment to the past -- particularly these items -- is making it hard to move forward. -- Decluttering Dilemma

DEAR DECLUTTERING DILEMMA: Consider hiring a decluttering specialist to come into your home and work with you to purge those things that no longer serve you. Things often carry emotional weight and can be hard to relinquish, but an outsider -- especially a professional who has no attachment to these items -- may be able to help you sort through and discard the past more easily.

A DIY solution can be to get some boxes and label them for things you want to give away, throw away and keep. As you look at each item, decide where it will go. As expert organizer Marie Kondo has advised, thank the item for what it offered you and bid it goodbye. Her process allows you to acknowledge the role that things have served in your life before releasing them. This may help you to complete the mourning process from your ex, express gratitude for what that relationship meant to you and move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: The letter from "Ballet Worries," the parent whose daughter was facing pressure to diet from her dance teachers, struck a chord with me, and I wanted to share another perspective with you.

Even as a leisure student of ballet from ages 10 to 12, I felt pressure from the teacher to be thinner. The timing of her messaging was harmful, especially since I was self-consciously going through puberty at the time. It took over 20 years to let go of the body shame, self-criticism and constant comparison caused by her comments.

It is an unfortunate reality of the profession that thin dancers are preferred. Around 16.4% of ballet dancers have eating disorders (pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24277724). I've observed that ballet is a traditional school of dance based on a certain aesthetic. Historically, male choreographers preferred dancers of a specific height, weight and girth to create a certain look onstage. Unfortunately, as ballet is about continuing these traditions and choreography, the genre has not moved with the social times regarding feminine beauty.

I appreciate your advice that the parent encourage the daughter to take care of herself and keep her passion alive. It might also serve the young dancer to explore other forms of professional dance. For example, modern dance is ballet-based and inclusive of all strong, powerful body types. -- Arts Lover

DEAR ARTS LOVER: Thank you for your insights and thoughtful letter.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)