DEAR HARRIETTE: I really love pets, especially cats, and I always make sure they’re well taken care of by taking them to the nearest vet to keep them healthy and safe. Recently, my neighbor asked me to look after her cat for what she said would be a few days, but it’s now been four weeks, and she still hasn’t returned. While I love animals and have been doing my best to care for the cat, this wasn’t something I agreed to. It’s starting to become a strain on my schedule and finances, and I’m concerned about the added responsibility. I don’t want the cat to suffer due to my neighbor’s lack of responsibility, but I really don’t know how to address this with her without creating conflict. -- Unexpected Pet Responsibilities

DEAR UNEXPECTED PET RESPONSIBILITIES: This is no time to be passive. Call your neighbor and tell her that you have cared for her cat for as long as you can; it is time to return and take it back. If she says she is unable to take her cat back, tell her you are sorry, but this is her responsibility. Perhaps she should call an animal shelter or place an ad to find a new home for the cat, but your home is not an option.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My wife and I have made the decision to move our family to Barcelona. We have three teenage daughters -- aged 14, 16 and 17 -- who are attached to our current home in Phoenix. They’ve made it clear that they’re not happy about the move because they love their schools, their friends and the familiarity of the community we’ve built here. We completely understand their concerns, especially given their ages. Uprooting them during such formative years feels like a big risk, but we truly believe this move is the best decision for our family in the long run.

My wife is originally from Spain, and for years she has dreamed of returning to her home country. It has taken longer than expected to get everything in place, but the opportunity has finally presented itself. We’ve found work, housing and schools in Barcelona, and we’re excited about the new experiences and cultural exposure this move will bring. Still, we’re struggling to strike a balance between what feels right for us as parents and what feels fair to our daughters. They’ve accused us of being selfish and not considering how this will disrupt their lives. How can we help our daughters see the value in this move while still respecting their emotions and concerns? -- Uprooted

DEAR UPROOTED: It is perfectly understandable that your daughters feel upset by such a dramatic move at this formative time in their lives. There’s probably little you can say to make them feel better. If you have the resources, you should see if you can arrange for them to visit friends in a year or offer to bring a friend over to visit.

Once your family gets to Barcelona and begins to settle, chances are, they will have dynamic experiences that will make them feel comfortable and excited. Stay resolute with your decision, and talk about the opportunities in Spain as you also acknowledge how tough this transition is for everyone.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a 30-year-old woman, and my parents are constantly pressuring me to get married. The truth is, I don’t want to -- ever. I’ve made a conscious decision to focus on my own passions, dreams and personal growth instead of pursuing a traditional path. However, this choice has been met with disappointment from my family, especially since I grew up in a traditional household. As the eldest, I spent most of my childhood and teenage years helping to raise my younger siblings. I had to take on a lot of responsibility, including tasks that I felt should have been my parents’. It wasn’t just physically exhausting, but emotionally draining, too.

I often felt like I didn’t have a childhood of my own. This experience shaped my mindset, and I made a vow to myself that once I was older and independent, I would never subject myself to the pressures of having a family of my own. This decision feels right for me, but I can’t help but wonder if it sounds selfish to others. My family sees marriage and children as essential parts of life, and their disapproval makes me question whether I’m being unfair or letting them down. How can I make peace with my decision and help my parents understand my perspective without feeling guilty? -- No Kids

DEAR NO KIDS: You are an adult, and you get to make your own choices. Yes, your parents and others may dislike those choices and may pressure you, but they cannot force you to do anything.

You also do not have to make a decision for life at this moment. I vowed that I would not have kids in reaction to a negative experience I had as a child. I was resolute. Something changed many years later. I had my daughter at age 42, and I am grateful. You do not know what the future holds, but you also do not have to be forced to change your mind. You can ignore their comments and live your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently joined a nonprofit organization that focuses on environmental efforts, including tree-planting projects, as part of our school activities. I was initially excited to contribute to such an impactful cause and give back to my community in a meaningful way. However, I’ve noticed that the group dynamic feels cliquey, making it hard for me to feel like I truly belong. I’ve tried engaging with the members and participating in their discussions, but I often feel overlooked or excluded, which has been discouraging. What should have been a rewarding experience has instead become stressful and isolating. I genuinely believe in the organization’s mission and want to contribute to the cause, but I’m unsure how to improve these group dynamics without unintentionally alienating anyone. -- Bad Charity

DEAR BAD CHARITY: Human dynamics often muddy otherwise great causes. If you feel this organization is worth it, give it time. It takes a minute to find your tribe within any group. Observe others and notice who best matches your temperament and interests. Then make the effort to connect with them. Over time, if it never feels welcoming, continue to give to the cause financially, but step away personally.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate and his girlfriend constantly bicker, and I always end up being dragged into the middle of their arguments. It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m being forced to pick sides when I don’t even want to be involved at all. To make matters worse, I can’t help but feel bad for his girlfriend because, frankly, my roommate is wrong most of the time. He’s selfish, dismissive of her feelings and stingy when it comes to sharing expenses or treating her to a nice date. I can tell she’s unhappy with how he treats her, but for some reason, she stays with him.

The other day, my roommate came to me asking for advice about their relationship, and I felt conflicted. On one hand, I want to be honest with him and tell him he’s the problem, but I also don’t want to ruin our friendship by being too blunt. I’ve always tried to stay neutral, and I made a rule for myself not to give people advice about their relationships because it never ends well, but now I feel trapped because I know he’s in the wrong. I feel bad enabling his behavior by saying nothing. Should I stay out of it and abide by my rule, or should I tell him the truth, even if it risks our friendship? -- In the Middle

DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: Do your roommate a solid and talk to him openly. Tell him that you have worked hard to stay out of his relationship as you know it’s none of your business, but since he has repeatedly asked you for advice, you have one thing to offer: You believe that he could treat his girlfriend better. Your observations are that he could be more thoughtful, more generous and kinder. He may appreciate your candor. He may not have had positive role models to help guide him toward loving, supportive behavior, so your insight may prove helpful to him. Tread lightly, though, and be gentle. You are right not to want to be in the middle of his drama.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a college professor, and I’ve noticed that one of my students has been struggling significantly in my class. At first, I thought it might just be an issue with the material, but after observing their behavior and performance, I have a strong feeling that it’s tied to factors outside of the classroom. This student, who was once engaged and consistent, has started turning in late assignments, missing classes and appearing distracted when they are present. I’ve tried reaching out casually during class breaks or after lectures, but they seem reluctant to open up. I don’t want to pry too much or make them uncomfortable, but I feel responsible for creating a supportive environment where they feel comfortable seeking help if they need it.

As a professor, I’m unsure how far I should go in addressing this. I want to help, but I also don’t want to overstep my boundaries or assume too much about their personal life. Should I continue trying to approach them, or should I step back and let them come to me if they’re ready? -- Student in Need

DEAR STUDENT IN NEED: Try one more time by inviting the student to office hours. Ask how things are going. Express that this student’s patterns have changed, and you noticed and wanted to check in. Inquire if there is anything you can do to support them at this time. Offer to listen if they want to talk. Remind them that your door is always open. Your department head or dean may have additional insight regarding campus services that might benefit this troubled student.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)