DEAR HARRIETTE: I am a woman in my 20s, and lately, my self-esteem has taken a serious plunge. Just a year ago, I felt confident, vibrant and happy with who I was. Recently, though, things have shifted, and I find myself constantly comparing myself to other women, whether it’s their looks, careers or social lives. It feels like I can’t measure up, no matter what I do, and these comparisons have been taking a massive toll on my mental health.

I’ve tried to combat these feelings of comparison by focusing on self-care. I’ve gotten haircuts, treated myself to facials and even kept up with getting my nails done. While these things temporarily make me feel a little better, the confidence never seems to stick. The moment I’m back on social media or surrounded by people, I feel inadequate again. I know confidence is supposed to come from within, but I feel so stuck. How do I stop this endless cycle of comparison and learn to feel good about myself again? -- Insecure

DEAR INSECURE: In this age of social media, it can seem impossible to not compare yourself to others for a million reasons. You may want to pause using social media in all forms. Focus on you and what interests you. Figure out what is fun for you, and do more of that. Scrutinize your relationships and decide to spend time only with positive people. You don’t have to say anything to the people who are naysayers or braggarts; just stop hanging out with them.

Also consider therapy. A professional can help you dive deeper into your own life to help you examine the root causes for your insecurity. That support may help you gain coping skills that can keep you feeling strong, no matter what comes your way.

DEAR HARRIETTE: An old friend of mine recently passed away. As I have been trying to help the family coordinate some details, I realized that I was no longer friends with him on social media. We had a falling out years ago, and he must have blocked me. I have since learned that other former friends had been blocked, too. It seems like he held a grudge against a number of us toward the end of his life. I feel so conflicted over this. I loved him as a friend for years, but now I’m feeling dissed all over again. I don’t want to harbor bad feelings about him, but this is making me sad. How can I handle this compounded grief? -- In Agony

DEAR IN AGONY: My best recommendation is to hold on to the good memories you have of your friend and forgive him for whatever else occurred. It is sad that you and others experienced negativity with this person, but there is nothing you can do about it now. To heal from this loss and all that it means to you will take time and tenderness. Do your best not to get caught up in bashing him with the others who are feeling hurt. Stay positive, and allow forgiveness to be your salve.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My sister and I have not spoken for a few months, and I’m really heartbroken over it. We’ve always been close, but an argument has driven us apart. The fight started because she feels like I never let her finish speaking when we have conversations. I admit that I can get excited or passionate when we’re talking, and sometimes I interrupt without realizing it. I never meant to hurt her. It seems like this has been bothering her for a long time, and now it’s driven a wedge between us.

I thought the holidays would be the perfect time to patch things up. I was hopeful that spending time together with family would soften things between us and give us a chance to talk. I tried to approach her and let her know I wanted to make amends, but she didn’t seem open to it. She was polite but distant, and it was clear she wasn’t ready to reconcile. I don’t want to keep pushing and risk making things worse, but I also don’t want to give up on our relationship. How can I show her that I’m willing to listen and change without pressuring her? -- Sister in Exile

DEAR SISTER IN EXILE: You may just have to give your sister time. If you have been dismissing and interrupting her over an extended period of time, she has every right to doubt that you can or will change. Consider writing her a letter and expressing your remorse. Tell her how much you miss her and want to make amends. Admit that you know you can be inattentive when it comes to communicating respectfully with her, and you are deeply sorry. Promise to make a concerted effort to listen more actively and give her space to talk. Ask for her forgiveness, and then wait.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently rekindled my passion for knitting, something I loved as a child thanks to my grandma. I took it up again as a way to relax, but I’m struggling to complete my first project. I keep making mistakes and end up unraveling my work repeatedly, which feels so discouraging. While I enjoy the idea of creating handmade items, the slow progress has me questioning if I’m cut out for this hobby. I want to improve my skills and feel proud of my creations, but perfectionism keeps holding me back. I need to find a way to embrace the process and learn from my mistakes while finding joy in knitting. -- Knitting Challenges

DEAR KNITTING CHALLENGES: Don’t give up. Knitting is supposed to be meditative and soothing, and it can be -- once you get into a groove.

Yes, you have to learn first. Go online and find knitting tutorials that you can follow to perfect the stitches. The audiobook “Knitting for Beginners” by Nancy Gordon might be helpful to you.

Find a local yarn shop and see if they offer classes. Some shops have knitting tables where customers come to build fellowship as they knit -- and they often help each other along the way.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I recently got into a huge fight, and I’m still feeling upset about it. During our argument, he called me privileged, and it really struck a nerve. I’ve worked hard for everything I have in life. I grew up in a small town with parents who loved me deeply but didn’t have much to their name. I put myself through school, worked multiple jobs and have been intentional about building the life I want. To be accused of being privileged felt so unfair and dismissive of everything I’ve accomplished.

The fight started when I mentioned I was planning a vacation to Vietnam. I did some research about the country and the places I’d like to visit, but I’ll admit I could have gone deeper. My boyfriend called me out on this and said it was privileged of me to travel to a foreign country without doing proper research or fully understanding its culture, history or people. While I see his point that preparation is important, especially when visiting a place so different from my own background, it felt like his tone was more critical than constructive. Instead of encouraging me to learn more, it came across as an attack on my character and my values. How can I address this with him without getting defensive? -- Not Privileged

DEAR NOT PRIVILEGED: Sit down with your boyfriend and admit that you should have done more research for your trip to Vietnam, and thanks to his observations, you will. Add that his tone disturbed you; rather than being supportive, he seemed to be judgmental. Tell him that it hurt your feelings. Let him know that rather than being privileged, you consider yourself self-sufficient. Describe your upbringing and how you got to where you are today. Point out that while nothing has come easy for you, you are enormously grateful for all that you have been able to accomplish thus far. Tell him you would appreciate his support -- without the attack. He may get defensive at first, but stand your ground. If he is to be your partner, he needs to understand what kind of support you need.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always been curious about my family’s history, so I began researching my relatives online. Starting with Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms, I have uncovered fascinating details about my ancestors. However, the sheer volume of information quickly became overwhelming, and many records are incomplete or contradictory. This has made it difficult for me to piece everything together accurately. I dream of creating a detailed family tree, but I struggle to organize my findings and verify their accuracy. I need guidance to simplify the process and confidently explore my family’s heritage. -- Family Tree Frustrations

DEAR FAMILY TREE FRUSTRATIONS: The good news is that there’s a ton of support out there that should help you research your family’s history. Gather all of the documentation you have so that you are organized, and then look into some of the available tools, such as the National Archive, which has step-by-step instructions on how to find legal documents to support learning more about your family history. Go to: archives.gov/research/genealogy/start-research. You can also find bloodline information from ancestry.com. This resource has amassed a wealth of information about people that has helped families find each other across the world.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)