DEAR HARRIETTE: When I was single, I never learned how to cook; my mom always took care of that for us. However, after getting married, I’ve been wanting to learn how to cook more than just fried foods and to try more varied meals. The problem is that I always feel intimidated by complicated recipes. I end up sticking to the same meals every week because I don’t know where to start or how to manage it. The idea of cooking something new often feels daunting, and I worry about wasting ingredients or not getting the recipe right. I genuinely want to improve my cooking skills and experiment with different dishes, but I’m concerned it will be too stressful or take too much time. At times, I feel discouraged before I even start. Should I try breaking down the cooking process into smaller steps and gradually work my way up to more complex recipes? -- Cooking Anxiety

DEAR COOKING ANXIETY: Take a deep breath. Everything is going to be all right! Many people struggle with learning how to cook, but it is now easy to find simple recipes online that can guide you. Two websites where I find recipes are simplerecipes.com and allrecipes.com -- you truly can find instructions there for virtually every type of meal you are interested in preparing.

You may also choose to take a cooking class or purchase a meal delivery kit. Try cooking with your partner -- you could make it a date night!

You are wise to move away from eating fried foods every day. They are known to lead to health issues. As you learn to cook, search for healthy recipes that use the minimum amounts of saturated fat and oil. If you or your partner has any health issues, research what foods are good for supporting you.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and I recently decided to purchase a home, not just for ourselves, but for our kids to have a secure and stable shelter, especially if we’re no longer around. The house is quite plain, with no partitions or any significant renovations, so we’ve made the decision to renovate it before we move in. While I’m excited about the potential of creating a space that feels like home, the entire renovation process has been overwhelming. Among finding the right contractors, deciding on materials and keeping everything within our budget, I’m feeling the weight of the responsibility. The constant decision-making and the pressure to get everything right are taking a toll on me. I want to enjoy this experience and look forward to the end result, but the planning and organizing are starting to feel never-ending. It’s becoming difficult to balance everything else in my life while focusing on the renovation. -- Renovation Overload

DEAR RENOVATION OVERLOAD: You have taken on one of the most stressful tasks there is. Knowing that may help to give perspective. Keep the big picture in mind: You and your spouse have a plan for yourselves and your family that should have a generational impact. It is hard right now, but keep your eyes on the prize. If your children are old enough, engage them in the process. If there’s anything they can do to help, invite them to chip in. It could be something seemingly small, like preparing meals on especially long days or following up with particular contractors. Allow them to help you make this dream come true. It will keep them invested in their future.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR READERS: Merry Christmas! It’s amazing that we are already at this time of year. For those who observe Christmas as a religious holiday, I wish you the peace and hopefulness that this day stands for. For the many who have claimed Christmas as their time to embrace family just a little tighter regardless of their religion, blessings to you, too.

When I was growing up, the holiday season was my family’s favorite. We had a full calendar of activities, many opportunities to dress up and, of course, the promise of presents under the tree. This season means that festivities are at an all-time high -- right alongside spending. I feel the need to remind myself -- and you -- that it is smart to take a pause at this time and remember to give thanks for the little things. Do your best not to become overwhelmed by the one-upmanship that sometimes occurs during the holiday season. Find ways to show your loved ones that you care for them that need not be attached to things. Give your time to the people you love.

On Christmas Day and the days surrounding it, look around: Who in your family and community would appreciate a little TLC? Notice the elders. Be sure to take time to talk to them. Let them recount old tales of when they were young. Ask them about holiday memories. Record what they tell you (if you can). You will treasure those stories for years to come, and if you preserve them, you can share them with the next generation.

Continue to look around. Who are the worker bees in your family? Do they need help? Jump in and volunteer for a dishwashing shift or to make a salad or to clean up the family room after gifts have been opened. Be helpful. Believe it or not, this can also protect you from the nosy family members who always have a thousand questions. If you are busy working and helping out with chores, the busybodies will have less time to meddle!

Remember to carve out quiet time for yourself as well. During larger family gatherings, it can be difficult to have solo moments. Plan a brisk walk outside to clear your head. Step away from any conversations that appear to be getting heated. It can be so easy to be triggered when you gather with people who share a lot of history with you. Don’t fall into the trap. Give yourself an out when things take a turn.

Take a page out of my mother’s book: Actively practice gratitude. Start each day making a list of things that you are grateful for. Start with the obvious -- gratitude for waking up to a new day. Then look around. What do you see that brings you joy? It could be sunlight, or a loved one, a pet or a favorite book, a comfy old robe or pair of slippers, your home. Whatever comes to mind, write it down to make it concrete. Feel the gratitude for whatever you see, and acknowledge it in your heart. When you feel stretched or stressed, when things don’t seem to be going your way, when the comparisons get you down, go to your list and remind yourself of what you are thankful for.

I, for one, am grateful for all of you!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently developed a love for having plants around my home because they add such a refreshing vibe, but I struggle to keep them alive. People remark that I don’t have a green thumb and that I should give up on this hobby, but I’m determined to prove them wrong. I’ve done a lot of research on how to care for plants, yet they always seem to wilt or lose their leaves. I’ve tried adjusting the watering schedule and moving them around, but nothing seems to work. I’m wondering if I’m overwatering or not providing enough light, but I can’t seem to figure out the right balance. I’ve also been concerned about the type of soil and whether I’m using the right pots for drainage. I really want to create a lush, green space in my home, but I’m starting to lose confidence in my plant-care abilities. I really don’t know whether I should continue with this or just give it up. -- Plant Frustration

DEAR PLANT FRUSTRATION: I have no personal experience to help you; sadly, I have no green thumb. My husband does, though. I watch him as he follows a set schedule for watering the various plants we have. Yes, there is research about sun exposure, water and nutrients. You should continue to read up on the plants you have, but also visit a nursery and ask a lot of questions. Experts tend to relish in sharing tips on plant survival. Commit to learning as much as you can. Get an expert to help you select sturdy plants that don’t need too much attention.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been putting off a big project -- the design for our new municipal hall -- for weeks, and now the deadline is fast approaching. I am in charge of drafting the design, which needs to be revised before the builders begin the construction process. I’m feeling paralyzed by the pressure and overwhelmed by the thought of failure. As the deadline draws closer, I feel more and more stuck, and it’s becoming difficult to get started. I know this is something I need to do, but the fear of not doing it perfectly is holding me back. At times, it feels like I’m making no progress, and at other moments, the pressure becomes too much to bear. I want to push through this procrastination, but I’m unsure how to break the cycle. -- Overcoming Procrastination

DEAR OVERCOMING PROCRASTINATION: Break your project down into small components of the big picture. Figure out what you can do each day to get you closer to your goal. Check off each accomplishment as you move along. This will give you energy and motivation to keep moving. Make sure your map has a finish line that is weeks before your actual deadline so that when you reach it, you still have time to tweak. Ask for help when you need it. Remind yourself that you can do it. You have the capacity to do this work; otherwise, you wouldn’t have gotten the project. Don’t forget this fact as you get closer to completion.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)