Q: Our son is having a rocky start in middle school. It's thrown him completely off balance. He forgets assignments and can't manage time. The counselor thinks he needs better "executive functioning skills" and says to work with him. What are they?

A: Executive functioning concerns the "numerous mental processes and skills (that) help us plan for -- and respond to -- the tasks, challenges and opportunities we face," writes Kristen Stanberry, an education writer who became interested in the topic after helping her son navigate the demands of high school.

Students with strong executive functioning skills have impulse and emotional control and can keep track of time, prioritize, plan and finish work on schedule. They can apply previously learned information to new problems. They're good at analyzing ideas. They know where and when to look for help when they get stuck.

For an in-depth look at these skills, go to Stanberry's excellent article, "Executive function: a new lens for viewing your child," at GreatSchools.org.

A rough transition to middle school isn't unusual, says Jan Abraham, a Naples, New York, middle school math teacher who has taught in the U.S. and abroad.

First, she says, "Determine where your son needs help. For some, it's as simple as establishing and practicing routines that make days go smoothly. For example, getting ready at night for the following day (i.e., preparing his backpack with his homework in the proper folders, putting his trumpet next to his backpack for band practice, setting his alarm and so on)."

Some students are overscheduled and parents need to discuss prioritizing time: What choices will they make if priorities compete?

Others need to learn how to use the school's web portal and school planner. "I ask students to add to their planner everything they know they'll do during the school year, from Grandma's birthday party in December to robotics on Tuesdays in January and February," explains Abraham. "We discuss how to record and monitor assignments. They need to know and own their schedule."

Many students benefit from explicit instruction in how to plan. "They are surprised to learn that there are actual steps to follow to get things done -- whether it's writing a report or building a fort," Abraham says.

She teaches six steps using real-life projects that match students' interests:

1) Analyze the task. Describe what needs to be done.

2) Plan. How will you handle the task?

3) Get organized. Break down the plan into steps.

4) Figure out the time needed. Plot hours, days or months for each step. Set aside the time on your calendar. Set alerts.

5) Make adjustments. Stuff happens; be flexible and regroup.

6) Finish the task in the time allotted. If you can't, analyze why not. Was it poor planning, or factors outside of your control? How would you do it differently?

Projects can be as simple as planning a movie outing or as complex as that of an avid skateboarder who wants to build a half-pipe.

"A disorganized student doesn't become an efficient whiz overnight," says Abraham, "but if you model and make him practice, he'll master skills that will give him a leg up all his life."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My daughter, a first-grader, is thrilled to be back in school, but my son, who's in third grade, is fighting it, especially homework. Nothing happened last year to make him reluctant to go back, so how can I get him excited?

A: For many kids, a new school year is exciting. But it's totally normal for some children to experience nervousness and anxiety, says Virginia educator Ann Dolin.

"It's not uncommon for kids to worry about whether they'll be with old friends, or if they'll get along with a new teacher, or whether they'll remember anything from last year," she explains.

Focus on listening to your son's concerns and establishing positive routines, so he feels prepared, rested and confident. Excitement may follow!

Dolin, who taught in Fairfax, Virginia, for several years prior to launching her tutoring company, Educational Connections Inc., offers this advice:

-- Find a calm time to talk. Probe and listen for reasons that might be causing your son's resistance. Has anything happened recently that has upset him, such as a close friend being assigned to another class? Does he struggle with separation anxiety from you at other times? Is he getting enough sleep? Is he eating properly? For example, notes Dolin, research shows that sugary snacks can increase anxiety, so keep those out of his diet.

You mentioned homework is a worry. If having homework is new to him, "establish a routine for getting it done," Dolin advises.

In a post on her website, she writes: "There are essentially five times to start homework: right after school, after a 30-minute break, before dinner, after dinner and right before bedtime. Elementary students often need down time after school, or when they return from their extra-curricular activities; about 30 minutes is usually sufficient. This is when homework should start."

-- Talk about what to expect in third grade. Build excitement for new learning. Check your school's website for curriculum standards to identify subjects he'll study. Point out topics that will interest him. For example, third-graders study the solar system. If he's a "Star Wars" fan, this could excite him.

-- Reinforce organizational routines: Getting back into a school-year groove doesn't happen overnight. Stick with routines that give the school day a smooth start. For example, every evening, check his homework, then pack his backpack, and place it next to the door. Make his lunch and refrigerate it the night before and put a sticky note on the backpack so he doesn't forget it. Have him choose and set out his clothes before he goes to bed. Establish a regular school-year bedtime and wake-up schedule that ensures he gets enough sleep.

Don't drag out goodbyes, which can increase anxiety, says Dolin. "You don't have to show tough love, but hold your tears and worries until you are out of his sight. Project confidence. Tell your son how excited you both will be when he comes home to tell you about his new friends and what he's learning."

If his anxieties don't go away in a couple of weeks, meet with his teacher or school counselor to gather more information. For more tips, see Dolin's blog at ectutoring.com.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Our middle school sent home tips for back-to-school success; one of them was to "enjoy family dinners together frequently." With three teens in grades 7 through 11 who are going in different directions, that's tough. Is there any research on this?

A: There is. Since 2001, the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse (CASA) at Columbia University has studied the impact of family dinners on family interactions.

The research shows that more frequent family dinner gatherings ensure higher quality communication between kids and parents. Eating a meal together strengthens family relationships, something that's particularly important for teens as they begin to forge influential peer relationships.

Joseph Califano Jr., the founder of CASA, emphasizes "that the magic that happens at family dinners isn't the food on the table, but the conversations and family engagement around the table."

A senior policy analyst at CASA further explains, "Teens who have frequent family dinners are more likely to say that their parents know a lot about what's really going on in their lives. ... Family dinners are the perfect opportunity when kids can talk to their parents and their parents can listen and learn."

A 2012 CASA study showed that in homes where family meals were frequent (five to seven times a week), teens were more likely to say they had good relationships with their parents. In turn, they were less likely to say that they felt stressed and were less likely to use marijuana, alcohol and tobacco. When the quality of teens' communication with parents declined, their likelihood of using marijuana, alcohol and tobacco increased.

To remind parents of the importance of family mealtime, every year CASA celebrates Family Day as "a day to eat dinner with your children." This year, it's Sept. 26. For more information, go to centeronaddiction.org.

A 2016 Common Sense Media survey of parents of kids 2 to 17 representing a range of American socioeconomic and ethnic groups found that more than 90 percent of respondents viewed conversations during dinner as an important way to learn about what's going on in their kids' lives. Seventy percent of the respondents said they carved out time to have dinner together five or more times a week.

While the family dinner isn't some relic of the 1950s, today's mobile devices are unwelcome newcomers to the table. Research shows that cellphones next to forks can disrupt and shut down conversations even when the devices aren't in use.

Thirty-five percent of Common Sense Media survey respondents said they'd had an argument about using devices at the dinner table. More than half said they were concerned that devices at the table "were hurting their conversations," writes Michael Robb, Common Sense director of research.

To encourage more families to declare the dinner table a tech-free zone, Common Sense Media has launched the Device-Free Dinner campaign. "Our devices keep us connected, informed and engaged, but dinner time is an important time to just say 'no,'" urges James P. Steyer, founder and CEO of Common Sense. "Everything from better grades to a healthier lifestyle has been linked to eating together regularly as a family."

Steyer invites families to take the Device-Free Dinner challenge, and "set an example for kids that we all need to carve out face-to-face conversation time in our lives."

For more information, go to commonsensemedia.org.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)