Q: My usually confident daughter Charisse just entered middle school and is under a lot of different pressures, including from new peers. It's hard talking with her about it, but I sense her dilemma. She would be mortified if I meet with the counselor for advice. Any thoughts on steps I can take?

A: When teens -- or anyone, really -- feels pressure, there's a sense of being rushed or forced into making choices or decisions before we've had a chance to think them through. The transition to middle school often brings students a new set of pressures and stressors to deal with, says educator Annie Fox, author of "Middle School Confidential," a series of graphic novels and apps for teens (Free Spirit Publishing Inc.).

Not all pressures on teens are bad, says Fox. For example, a teacher might urge a student to take an advanced class because the teacher believes the student could do well. That kind of push gives the student a chance to stretch herself and open doors to more opportunities.

"After thinking about it, she might realize, 'That's a good thing. I'll try it,'" explains Fox.

Or a friend might encourage her to go out and do something fun when she's feeling down, and this is "also a good thing," says Fox.

Pressures from new friends who encourage a student to do something that makes her feel uncomfortable or that go against what she believes in or knows is wrong, "can make her feel at war with herself, like she's being pulled in two directions at once," says Fox. "This can leave a teen confused and thinking there aren't any good options."

The key is to help Charisse develop a set of tools to analyze and deal with stress and pressure in healthy ways. Fox advises teens to master these four strategies:

First, identify the cause: Tell Charisse to be "really clear about what's bothering her by putting it into words," says Fox. For example, she could try completing this sentence: "Someone wants ... but it doesn't feel right because ... "

Second, teach Charisse to step away from the situation. Take a break. Play with the cat. Go for a walk with the dog.

"Learning to relax under pressure can help calm the body while opening the mind to possible solutions," says Fox.

Third, have your daughter weigh her options. "If Charisse feels torn between someone else's expectations of her and what she wants for herself, have her write down both sides of the tug of war, being fully honest in the process," advises Fox. "Seeing the pros and cons can help her figure out what's right for her."

Fourth, show her how to take a stand. Helping Charisse articulate what she does and doesn't believe in will help her state it clearly and confidently to others. "It's important for teens to be clear on their values and where they draw the line," explains Fox. "It's not their job to please everybody, rather to make choices (online and off) that increase their own self-respect. When teens' decisions reflect who they really are, they start to feel more at peace with themselves. They get stronger against negative pressures."

Fox offers teens and their parents guidance on a range of topics and answers questions on her podcast, FamilyConfidential.com, and her advice blog, AnnieFox.com.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My high school-aged daughter and son have been assigned to watch C-SPAN and political shows about the presidential election. She supports Hillary Clinton. He's for Donald Trump. They end up screaming at each other. I've had to warn my son to stop using disrespectful, offensive language and my daughter to stop throwing things at the TV. This is crazy. Help!

A: I'll say this for their teachers: They aren't backing away from teaching this election as some have said they are. A Texas history teacher (who asked that her name not be used) wrote me to say, "I love teaching the presidential election, but this year I'm scaling back because the administration warned teachers to 'stay objective.' I work in a diverse school. I would not be able to let the divisive, anti-immigrant rhetoric go unchallenged. Instead of class discussions, I assign online games from iCivics.org because students can work through them thoughtfully and be held accountable for their views."

For decorum at your dinner table, two teachers who've taught three decades of elections offer this advice:

"Since the kids have gone all 'Lord of the Flies' on Mom, adopt the 'pass the conch' technique from the book," says Newton, Massachusetts, educator Marj Montgomery. "Choose any object. No one may speak without that object in hand. No one. If they haven't read 'Lord of the Flies,' do so with them. Enjoy the discussions it prompts."

Illinois educator Kevin Pobst suggests not allowing them "to watch programs together if they cannot conduct themselves with civility, period. Break the rule and the TV goes off. Then they suffer the consequence of not getting the assignment done."

Discuss what their goal is when they argue. "Do they want to persuade each other, or are they just expressing their preference to insult?" Pobst asks. "Vicious, yelled, personal arguing is not persuasive. It's mutual offensiveness. No one persuades by offending. You persuade by making a rational, fact-based case for your ideas, not an emotional rant."

Montgomery suggests using debate and mock trial techniques. After they make a case for their candidate, "have them switch sides," she says. "That turns down the volume. Daughter speaks for Trump, son for Hillary. Nothing comes out of either's mouth without checking the fact with an unbiased fact-check site. Mom can even sound an obnoxious noisemaker when any statement is found to be false." (See factcheck.org, politifact.com and the Fact Checker at washingtonpost.com.)

For a meaty discussion (and history lesson), "make a short list of successful presidents. Ask them to figure out what the job description really is," says Montgomery. "Discuss demonstrated skills and personality traits."

As for your son and daughter, Pobst says, "Their own relationship will, God willing, go on for another 60 to 70 years, while electoral preferences are time-bound. They shouldn't fall into a pattern of talking to each other in ways that will undermine their relationship -- or turn each other into cartoon characters."

While these election-driven arguments are clearly frustrating you as parent, Montgomery says, "Rejoice that your kids are involved in the political process -- noisy and uncomfortable as it is. It's way preferable to the teenage shrug, followed by the mantra, 'Whatever.'"

Find useful election resources at Harvard's justiceinschools.org, c-spanclassroom.org and newseumed.org.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My third-grade daughter is struggling in school. She is anxious and thinks she's dumb. I'm worried that she might have a learning problem. How can I find out?

A: It's not unusual for a child to be anxious about going to school once in a while, especially early in the year. But if she's feeling like she's dumb and is struggling, take steps to find the reason why.

Amanda Morin, an educator and parent advocate, says it's important to know your daughter is not alone in having these anxieties and challenges. In fact, roughly 1 in 5 kids have some type of challenge.

You may have heard the term "learning disabilities," however, "the term 'learning and attention issues' is a little broader. It covers a wide range of challenges kids face -- whether their issues have been formally identified or not," says Morin, who's an adviser at understood.org, a nonprofit organization for parents whose children have learning and attention issues.

Having these challenges doesn't mean a child isn't intelligent. "In fact, kids with learning and attention issues tend to be just as smart as their peers," Morin explains.

Learning and attention issues are brain-based difficulties that can create struggles in different ways and to varying degrees. Kids may have trouble with reading, writing, math, organization, concentration, listening comprehension, social skills, motor skills or a combination of these.

It can be hard to know whether you're seeing signs of learning and attention issues in your daughter if you're not sure what skills are typical for her age and what's expected of her developmentally and academically. To see key developmental milestones for third-graders, check out Morin's article, "Developmental Milestones for Typical Second and Third Graders," at understood.org.

This will help you get a better sense of where her skills fall. It's also useful to become familiar with the academic skills kids usually learn in third grade. For some key concepts she'll master, go to understood.org's article, "What Third-Grade Academic Skills Typically Look Like in Action."

Meet with your daughter's teacher to see what she has noticed. Is your daughter having trouble with recognizing letters or with rhyming? Is reading, writing or math a challenge? Is she more distractible or less focused than other kids her age? Is she having trouble making friends?

You can ask your school district to do a free educational evaluation to identify issues your daughter may have and to help guide the type of support she will need at home and school.

The evaluation may introduce terms like "learning disability" or "learning disorder." Those phrases are necessary to open doors to important services and supports for kids with learning and attention issues. It's a way to get your daughter on a path to success -- so don't be too concerned about the label.

Neither you nor your daughter is alone in this, says Morin. "Learn what the experience may look like through your child's eyes at understood.org," she says. "Connect with other parents on the site. They can share experiences and tips that can help clear up confusion and make your journey easier."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)