Q: My third-grader is an impatient learner. He's smart enough, but if he doesn't get something right away, he gets upset and gives up. How can I help him?

A: Talk to your son about how we learn. A third-grader is old enough for that conversation.

"It's important for kids to realize that learning something new doesn't happen immediately," says Matt Frahm, superintendent of the Naples (N.Y.) Central School District. "It's a process that can be broken down into simple steps. We all go through them, whether learning to kick a goal in soccer, play a new video game or master a recipe."

We also need to make kids aware that learning new things is easier when they've developed key personal traits and attitudes, says Frahm.

"In his best-seller, 'How Children Succeed,' author Paul Tough talks about the hidden power of character," he says. "Research shows that successful learners use their curiosity, grit, persistence and dedication to great advantage."

So apart from trial and error, how do we learn new things?

First, we're introduced to a new idea or concept. Good teachers provide and discuss examples and then ask students to draw on what they already know to provide context. Teachers call this "building on prior knowledge," says Frahm.

For example, third-graders study astronomy and space -- the properties of suns, moons, planets and stars. After introducing the lesson's theme, a teacher will draw out what students think they know already. This might range from notions gained from sci-fi movies to watching a NASA launch online.

"Teachers observe what kids are curious about, what their misconceptions might be, and what knowledge they have to build on," say Frahm.

Once new material is introduced, an important next step is practice. It's common sense that when we practice we get better at something -- whether it's hitting a baseball, coding or multiplication.

"But in today's packed school day, there is often too little time to practice new skills, so parents can help a lot here," says Frahm. "For example, few students nail math facts right away. When parents promote fun math-fact practice with games, apps or even old-fashioned flash cards, kids learn them faster."

The next step is making new learning stick. We do that by using it over and over in different ways so that it is retained and reinforced.

"Families play a key role here, too," says Frahm. While teachers try to give students plenty of chances to apply their learning in class and homework, savvy parents ask kids to use their new skills at home.

For example, Frahm suggests, "Ask your third-grader to figure out how much it will cost if the family orders three pizzas that cost $11; or how much it costs to fill an empty 5-gallon can if gas costs $2.44 a gallon. Giving kids chances to use new learning not only provides practice, it develops confidence. They begin to own it. When they own it, they use it more and lock it in."

Whether you're a parent of a third-grader or a senior, talk about how learning occurs. Help kids develop the character traits that make them successful. They'll be more eager learners as a result.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My son used to devour book series like "Big Nate" and "Captain Underpants" when he was younger. Now in sixth grade, he never reads for fun anymore. He seems to have lost interest in books. Should I worry?

A: Don't waste effort worrying. But do take a few steps to re-engage him. Here's why: Strong reading skills are essential to success throughout school, says Francie Alexander, one of the nation's top reading experts.

"And students only become strong readers when they read for pleasure regularly," she explains. "Think of it as fun practice. While parents, and even students, are aware of the link between reading for pleasure and academic success, fewer than half of students approaching their teenage years make leisure reading a priority."

Here are five things you can do:

One, help your son find things he wants to read. Research shows that one reason students move away from pleasure reading isn't homework or afterschool schedules. "It's because they say they have trouble finding books they like," says Alexander, the chief academic officer at Houghton Mifflin Harcourt. "Adults underestimate this as an obstacle. When parents play an active role in guiding them to materials that match their developing interests, they see them return to reading for pleasure."

Two, look for a series he can enjoy. "The neat thing about series such as J.K. Rowling's 'Harry Potter' or Rick Riordan's 'Percy Jackson' books is that once a reader is hooked, finishing one book means they can't wait to tackle the next," says Alexander.

Librarians know which authors teens ask for; you can also consult online reviews from such sources as Goodreads, Amazon and Common Sense Media.

Three, don't limit your choices to "young adult" books. Your librarian can suggest high-interest adult books with age-appropriate themes that match your son's interests. Does he like sci-fi? "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams might keep him turning pages.

"Consider nonfiction too, such as biography," suggests Alexander. "A techie teen I know who loves all things Apple enjoyed Walter Isaacson's biography of Steve Jobs. A football fan might love 'The Blind Side' by Michael Lewis."

Four, take a broad view of reading. Think beyond the book. Does your son love skateboarding? Get a subscription to Thrasher. Does he excel in STEM (science, technology, engineering and math)? Send him Popular Science every month.

"And don't worry about the platform," says Alexander. "Whether he's reading print on paper, or on a tablet, laptop or his phone, it's all reading. He's learning new vocabulary and concepts that will provide context for his schoolwork. Audio books are fine, too. Download one to enjoy while you're driving to those away soccer games!"

Five, make your home a place where everyone reads for relaxation. "If the latest issue of People is your guilty pleasure, make sure your son sees you enjoying it," urges Alexander. "More and more families are ditching TV and picking a fun book to read aloud together for a few minutes each night. Contrary to what many parents think, older kids love to be read to, too. A reading-aloud ritual not only models reading for pleasure, it gives families precious quality time."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Another kid calls my son names and pokes him in school. I told his fourth-grade teacher about the bullying. She said she would watch for this behavior, but suggested a website so I could teach him tips to defend himself. Isn't that the teacher's job?

A: Preventing bullying is everyone's job. That includes parents. The nation's schools make it a top priority through explicit policies, awareness campaigns, staff development, and parent and community outreach.

In most schools, teachers, students and school staff, from bus drivers to custodians, receive annual training in ways to handle bullying on the spot and reduce and deter future incidents.

Despite these laudable efforts, bullying is still very much with us, says Stephen Gray Wallace, the founder and director of the Center for Adolescent Research and Education (CARE).

"Studies make it clear that parents have an important role in helping their children deal effectively with bullies," he explains. "Your son's teacher wasn't passing the buck. She was offering tools to help him assert himself."

Wallace says kids bully in various ways: "It can be repeated aggressive behavior such as making threats, physical attacks or spreading rumors; attacking or excluding someone from a group on purpose. With kids' access to digital tools, we see bullying online, too, through texting, email and social media, so parents need to monitor those channels too."

Kidpower, a nonprofit organization that helps kids take charge of their own safety, offers these tips to help kids learn to deflect bullies:

-- Teach your son to walk, sit and act with awareness, calm, respect and positive confidence. This means walking with back straight, looking around, projecting a peaceful face and body, and moving away from people who might cause trouble.

-- Teach him to leave a threatening situation in a powerful, positive way. Coach your son to avoid being a target by assertively moving away with confidence from a bully's earshot or reach. Stepping out of a line, crossing the hallway or changing seats is often the safest choice. Sometimes saying, "See you later!" or "Have a nice day!" in a neutral, normal tone can diffuse a situation.

-- Coach him to turn, stand up tall, put his hands up in front of the body like a fence, elbows bent to be close to the body, palms out and open, and say loudly, "Stop!" and walk away.

-- Set boundaries about disrespectful or unsafe behavior. Remind kids that being cruel or hurtful is wrong, whether it happens in person, via social media, texting, online or in any other way. Set a good example by addressing any hurtful or prejudiced language or remarks. Speak up about disrespectful language by saying, "That didn't sound kind," or, "That sounds prejudiced."

-- Be persistent in getting help from busy adults. Kids who are bullied need to be able to tell teachers, parents, club leaders and other adults in charge what is happening in the moment. They need to be able to report clearly and calmly. Teach them how to report a situation using precise, polite, firm words and tone of voice -- even under pressure.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. Find useful resources to raise awareness and guide your son at kidpower.org, stopbullying.gov and the Search Institute (search-institute.org).

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)