DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I was inspired to write this based on your recent article about the kinds of men women like, and how you’ve talked about archetypes in previous columns. Do you have any advice for or places to look for men who don’t really identify under the banner of masculinity in general? I know you’ve pushed the idea of there’re being tons and tons of different personal models of masculinity, but what about the people who fall out of even that?

While adopting feminine aesthetics has gotten more acceptance over the past few years, I don’t know if I’ve seen the same encouragement for guys who are – socially – feminine or androgynous. (Most aesthetically feminine guys I know are still fairly masculine personality-wise.) It’s usually either met with insults or an assumption that our lack of masculinity corresponds with some lack of confidence. I feel you can see this in a lot of media, in which a less masculine character might end their character arc with a boost in confidence and act more aggressive. What’s more, I do get the impression that your blog does tend to assume some degree of social masculinity. Not knocking you, but I do wonder if that changes the needed advice.

For background’s sake, despite identifying as a guy and having an outwardly masculine body, my personality and usual social role is regarded by myself and others as pretty feminine. My good friends often tell me I’m pretty feminine and “think like a woman” in a non-derogatory way and compare me a lot to the female characters in the shows we watch. (Think Nia from Gurren Lagann, Kumiko from Hibike Euphonium, Aerith from FF7, and in a rare male instance Kamui Uehara from the recent No More Heroes 3 and TSA) I’m well known in town for being ‘sweet’, people say I bring a calming atmosphere to the room, and my friends value me for being the guy that’ll always listen to their problems. These are all parts of me I like about myself and it feels pretty often that the dating advice people give ask me to abandon these aspects.

The whole “safe-dangerous” dichotomy is one that I feel gross about in particular, partially as someone who’s experienced sexual assault in the past. I really hate advice that says to make yourself “a little dangerous” as well as the contrasting notion that it’s my job in a relationship to “protect” the woman. Don’t get me wrong, I’d like to be able to say that in a crisis I’d do my best to help others and put them before myself, but something about me being seen in the image of a masculine “protector” makes my skin crawl. It feels like one of those areas where more progressive space will still trend towards gender essentialism.

(It’s probably good to mention I grew up and am getting my degree in a mid-sized town in a very red, very southern state. This probably has influenced the model of masculinity I’ve internalized. I have no plans at all to stay once I graduate.)

Now onto the actual ‘dating’ aspect. Despite getting myself to a point where I feel okay with asking girls out, I have yet to go on an actual date — much less form a romantic relationship. For some reason or another the answer is always a ‘no.’ Most of my friends, male and female, think I’d be a great boyfriend to whoever’d be into me and I’ve even had lady-friends offer to try and set me up on a date — all of which the attempts never succeed. While I’m grateful for the female friends I’ve had, I don’t really know what it feels like to be desired in a physical or romantic sense. (I know the point you’ve made about sex positivity leading to more/better sex but despite being that for most of my life it’s made no difference. Seeing that point kinda weirded me out after being sex-positive and approving of more forward women with no expectation of recompense for years.)

People will always say that I’ll know it when it happens, but that’s unfortunately rung hollow in my experience. I’ve had instances where I and my friends totally thought that someone was signaling interest towards me (initiating and heavily escalating physical contact, saying things as brazen as “I bet you’re a sub”, saying we should go out for coffee sometime, etc,) but when I make the move to ask them on a date it turns out they didn’t see me in that fashion at all. Every time I feel like I’m getting close, it’s as if the sun decides that it’s time for my wings to catch fire. And I’m not going to lie, it’s demoralizing. Confusing, even, when tons of girls around me’s first way to describe their boyfriend or crush is “a lot like you.”

I just don’t know what’s missing at this stage. Even worse, neither do my friends. My failed attempt usually end with the old sentiment of “you did everything right, the interest just wasn’t there.” But how long can I reasonably be expected to run on that?

I know you’ve mentioned that it’s good to be someone who is happy with who they are and to feel like you’re datable. I was doing pretty well for myself before the pandemic and have been trying to work on the physical and mental issues that predictably come with spending a year in isolation (might take a while to get that senior-sixty off, though.) I feel like I have somewhat interesting hobbies; I play guitar, I’m handy with a camera, I like to cook, and I’m constantly getting compliments from friends, peers, and professors on my personal writings. I’m well-liked within my town, and I’ve been working for years towards the path I want to take in life. I’m really wondering at this point where my blind spot could be, or if it’s just a simple matter of needing to continue with my weight loss, try therapy again despite my dissatisfaction with the last go around, and wait for someone who’ll finally either initiate or reciprocate my interest. Maybe my head will break the brick wall someday.

Best Regards,

Malewife Matriarch, Femboy Fatale

DEAR MALEWIFE MATRIARCH, FEMBOY FATALE: I’m not gonna lie, MMFF; I had to read through your letter a couple of times to get the gist of exactly what you were having issues with. But I think part of the problem you’re dealing with is that you’re working from some odd, idiosyncratic or otherwise just plain wrong interpretations of… well, lots of stuff, honestly.

Case in point: the idea about sex-positivity leading to more sex. I think part of the disconnect you’re having here is that you’re taking this on the personal level — that being a more sex positive person will lead to you having more opportunities to get laid. While this can be true — God knows people are more likely to sleep with someone who’s more accepting and less judgemental about other people’s sexuality, preferences, orientation or history than folks who aren’t — what you’re referring to is the effect on the social level. As I’ve said many times before: part of the reason why women have less sex than they would necessarily prefer is because society judges them for having it at all and especially in ways that aren’t socially “approved of”. One of the most common reasons why women are less open to, say, casual sex with men, than they might be otherwise is because most of the time it’s too dangerous for them, the sex is rarely worth the level of risk, and men tend to judge them for having sex with them. A more sexually positive society means that people over all feel freer and more empowered to have the kind of sex that they would want to have — whether that’s tons of wild and crazy adventures, a monogamous and committed partner or no sex at all.

But another issue is that you talk about being non-masculine in reference to your gender performance, rather than aesthetics or identity. From what I’m gathering from your letter, you’re talking about being less aggressive and macho and more nurturing, empathetic, calming and sweet, and possibly a little less assertive and proactive than others. I think the problem you’re having is that you’re assuming that this means you’re not “manly” and that these are exclusively female traits. And while yes, those are traits that are coded as female by society… that doesn’t mean that you’re any less of a man for having or embodying those traits and values. It just means that you, as a man, are more nurturing, empathetic, calming and so on.

And therein lies the issue. Your problem isn’t that you’re too “femme” or whatever, it’s that you seem to have an issue with accepting that you’re just as much of a man as some eats-too-much-red-meat-booze-guns-and-bangin-broads macho meathead stereotype. Part of the reason why coercive and exclusionary definitions of “masculinity” can be so toxic is because they define “manhood” in incredibly narrow, limiting and damaging ways. Being someone who’s caring and nurturing doesn’t make you feminine; it makes you someone who’s caring and nurturing, just as someone who’s rough-and-tumble and aggressive isn’t masculine automatically, they’re someone who’s rough-and-tumble and aggressive.

As the saying goes: if you’re a man, then what you do is man s--t. Do you like crafts like knitting or sewing? Then congratulations, you’re a dude who likes knitting and sewing. If you like the idea of being domestic then hey, you’re a domestic kind of guy. Yeah, stuff like “Way of The House Husband” gets laughs by contrasting a former Yakuza tough-guy with the fact that he loves cleaning, cooking and taking care of the house… but the truth is that he would be no less of a man if he weren’t a former lieutenant in an organized crime family.

I think part of what you’re stuggling with here is that you’ve internalized so many of these restrictive ideas about manhood and masculinity that you feel like the fact that you’re softer and gentler marks you as weird or non-manly. It doesn’t really help that so many of your go-to references are from anime and video games. I may love a s--tload of anime but let’s be honest: most of the stuff that gets brought to the US tends to be pretty essentialist when it comes to gender roles, especially for male characters in Shonen (that is, aimed at young boys between the ages of 12 and 15) titles. One thing that would likely help would be to broaden your horizons and pay attention to more shows, movies, books and comics that feature many different ways of being a man without buying into the false dichotomy of strict masculine/feminine roles.

The most obvious example — and one I refer to frequently — is Netflix’s Queer Eye. One of the things that makes this iteration so enjoyable is that you have four people (Jonathan Van Ness is non-binary) who range from very straight-presenting to incredibly camp, but who are all warm, calming, nurturing and demonstrative. They’re all great examples of just how being a man (or non-binary) doesn’t mean being locked into one particular mode of behavior, and as such, they’re a soothing breath of fresh air. You might also appreciate more of The Great British Bake Off, where all of the contestants and judges are just… sweet and supportive of one another, even in the framework of an elimination-style competition.

If we move to fiction, then you have shows like Ted Lasso, which features Jason Sudeikis as a man who’s kind, collaborative and supportive, whose positivity and optimism carry the day in ways that a more vituperative, chair-throwing, yelling-and-screaming performance never could. And in shows like Letterkenny, you have folks like Squirrley Dan who are far from the macho stereotype as you’re likely to find and even traditionally masculine folks like Wayne have a softer side that they love to indulge in… just check out the Super Soft Birthday Party. And even folks like Riley and Jonesy, who are much more traditional in their gender performance, are shown to be far from one-dimensional jocks. They may be bro-y as hell, but they also have a much more nuanced and accepting form of masculinity than would otherwise be expected from guys who look and act like them.

(I find it amusing that we’ve actually managed to go backwards, socially, from the 80’s in a number of ways, when one of the most popular long-running sitcoms involved a man who worked as a nanny.)

I think that if you were less caught up in feeling like an oddity for being gentler and more nurturing and more accepting that this is just the kind of man you are, you’d have far fewer issues over all, including in the dating sphere. One of the things I have long found to be true is that the less in alignment you are with your authentic self, the worse you do. When you feel like you have to apologize or explain away being yourself, you sabotage your own sense of  confidence and self-worth. That makes it much harder not only to pursue relationships with folks you find attractive, but to meet and match with people who are actually right for you. It doesn’t do any good to go after a relationship with someone when your values and personalities conflict in fundamental ways after all. Someone who thinks that a guy who likes the idea of being a house husband is sus isn’t going to be a good match, no matter how attracted you two may be to one another.

The more you can bring yourself in alignment with your true self and accept this as who you are as a man, rather than treating it as being something that makes you less of a man, the happier and more confident you’ll be. That, in turn, will help you in life overall, but especially in dating and relationships. Once that is sorted, I think you’ll find that the rest starts to fall into place.

Good luck.

Please send your questions to Dr. NerdLove at his website (www.doctornerdlove.com/contact); or to his email, doc@doctornerdlove.com

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: I understand you hate Friend Zone questions but please bear with me as I think mine is most unique.

Three months ago, I packed up and moved to another state. Before switching cities, I visited my new home town about 3 times (you know, to get a lay of the land). The first time I went, I noticed a woman on the bus sitting in front of me. She was beautiful but I thought nothing more then she was a hot woman on the bus. The second time I went I saw her again and instantly recognized her as the woman from before. The third time I went I saw her a third time and was immediately smitten with her.

Before classes started I went to an orientation and low and behold SHE was there (lets call her Rose from here on out, not her real name of course). I said a few things to her but most came out nervous and uninteresting. This surprised me because I’m usually very good at talking to women. That night I immediately went on Facebook and found her. I chatted her up for the next three days before confessing I liked her and asked if we could go on a few dates when school started. She accepted.

I was traveling quite a bit before the semester started, so meeting with her was never really an option. Because of this I talked to her on Facebook A LOT (everyday). We would flirt a little and talk about some very sexual things. Occasionally we would get drunk and talk to each other.

When school started, I was regrettably a nervous mess. I could barley talk to her or even make eye contact. This was surprising because as I said before I’m VERY good at talking to women. This lasted about two weeks till I began talking to her. It was all very casual for about a week when finally I decided to ask her out. I stepped up, asked her on a date. Her answer was a no.

Over the past five weeks since, I have gotten to know her much better (we are very good friends)and at this point its fair to say I love her. I think about her everyday and care about her more than she’ll ever know. She is beautiful and because of this many guys try flirting with her. None of them can laugh with her like I can, and none would kill for her like I would. So last night at a dance (were me and her both hugging the walls and not dancing much), I confessed how I loved her. I told her that i think about her everyday and how if she said no I would be okay with it. She said no but was very surprised and I definitely got my point across.

And now Doctor NerdLove I need to know. How can I show this woman I’m serious, there is a chance we’re going to be hanging out on Halloween. Should I try something then? I don’t know. I really feel a spiritual and physical love for this person and I need a way to show them.

Love Fool 

DEAR LOVE FOOL: I don’t hate friend zone questions, LF. It’s just that nine times out of ten, everyone who writes in already knows the answer to the question they’re asking. They just want someone else to tell them that they’re wrong and there is hope.

Now, before I get into the meat of your question, LF, I want to point out what you did right… and what you did wrong.

By the third time you saw her, you knew that she was a regular on your route; you had no real reason not to talk to her then. While I’m normally a bit loathe to suggest approaching women on public transit — they’re functionally stuck with you, and they don’t know if you’re going to follow them when they get off at their stop — familiarity can breed comfort. If you’re enough of a known quantity, you’re more likely to get a positive response when you say “hey”

I know it can be intimidating approaching a stranger for the first time, but once you learn to muscle through the anxiety, you can start making approaching women you’re attracted to an organic part of your life. As it was, you were still running the risk of never seeing her again, and you’d be kicking yourself for not taking the chance.

In your case, LF, the fates saw fit to smile upon you and give you a second chance by having her applying to your school. This time you managed to actually talk to her: good work!. And while you may not have impressed her with your gift of gab, but clearly you didn’t creep her out and she accepted your Facebook request.

Now here’s where you screwed up again: you didn’t strike while the iron was hot. Talking for three days before asking her out wouldn’t have been an issue… if you hadn’t been about to go out of town. It would’ve been better to go on a date before you would be out of town than to ask her to wait for however long instead.

It’s one thing if your schedules didn’t line up and the first chance you had was after you got back. In this case, however, it seems like you had the time and opportunity; you chose to wait instead.

And it’s not as though this caught you by surprise. You knew you were leaving; this should have been your motivation to ask her out on at least one date before you left.

Now, she did agree to go on a couple of dates with you, true, but she agreed knowing that this would be three months in the future. Her agreeing to go one some dates that far down the line is… well, it’s not really much of a promise. It’s far enough in the future that it feels less like a date and more of a polite way to get someone to back off for a bit. After all, it’s easy to humor someone when there’s that much emotional (and physical) distance; it won’t feel as real or immediate, and there’s always the chance that you’ll forget or otherwise let her out of it.

So once again: she MIGHT have been genuinely interested in you or willing to give you a chance and go on a date or two. Or she may have agreed to go on a couple dates thinking that there was the distinct chance that she wouldn’t have to actually go out with you. If you had asked her to go out the next day, say, you may or may not have gotten a date out of it, but at least you’d have an answer.

Letting things go until after you got back in town, on the other hand, meant that you were losing any emotional momentum that you might have had. Talking over Facebook Messenger or WhatsApp is easier than people would think; there’s a certain level of distance and abstraction lowers our inhibitions. As a result, you can find yourself talking about things that you wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable talking about face to face. This includes a willingness to be flirty — or at least SEEM flirty, even if there’s no real interest.

The other problem with putting the dates off until school started was that you built the moment up in your head. It’s no wonder that you were a nervous mess when you got back home. You most likely spent those weeks building those dates from a simple social outing to events of monumental importance. I wouldn’t be surprised if you started mentally mapping out every possible way things could go – and most of ’em leading to romance and/or sex. So now you’re back in school and the GRAND MOMENT is upon you! It’s do or die time! Gotta make it happen, after all that build up!

And then… nothing.

In effect you essentially psyched yourself out. This is another reason why you want to make your move as soon as possible: to avoid building things up to impossible degrees and over-investing in someone who you still barely know.

As a result, it took you another two weeks before you tried to bring up her going out with you… that’s two more weeks of bleeding away any emotional momentum you may have had. It’s not surprising that when you finally asked her out, she said no. She may never have intended to go out with you in the first place. She may have been up for it at first but time and distance caused her to lose interest. You’ll never know now.

So that brings us to today: You told her you loved her, she didn’t return your feelings and you’re firmly stuck in the Friend Zone.

(Standard disclaimer: There’s no such thing as The Friend Zone. There’re just folks who don’t want to date or sleep with you.)

There are many ways you could have avoided the problem in the first place, but now you’re looking for your way out and you’re hoping that convincing her of the depths of your sincerity is going to change her mind.

SPOILER ALERT: it’s not. Especially when you’re using phrases like “I’d kill for her”. I know you’re not serious, but that’s the sort of language that sets people’s Spider-sense tingling and makes them start eyeing the exits.

Making a grand gesture makes for great dramatic moments in the movies, but in real life it doesn’t work out the way you would hope. It’s not going to solve the problem for you, because you’re trying to fix the wrong issue.

The problem isn’t that she thinks you’re not serious about how you feel. The problem is that she just doesn’t like you back. Not the way you’re wishing she did.

Right now, the best thing you can do is accept the truth and focus on letting your broken heart heal.

That, unfortunately, is probably going to mean that you need to get a little distance from her. Hanging around her right now is obviously hurting you and – contrary to everything pop-culture has taught us –  there’s nothing romantic or even terribly sane about subjecting yourself to that sort of pain over and over again. It sucks that she doesn’t return your feelings, but moping about and trying to backdoor your way into a relationship with her isn’t the answer.

The best thing you could do right now is take some time and distance and – and I know this is going to seem counter-intuitive – date other people. I’m a firm believer that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else, as it were. It’s not that sex heals all wounds and so you should go get some strange, nor is it a matter of replacing her with the nearest warm body. Getting back out there and dating around will remind you that there are other women in the world – ones who might return your feelings. It’ll help you rebuild your confidence and self-esteem, while reminding you that as amazing as Rose may be, she’s not the ONLY woman out there. She’s ONE person, not the LAST person who could ever love you or that you could ever love.

So let Rose go. Be friends with her if you can, but accept that you’re friends, not potential lovers. Date around, meet other amazing folks and remember: he who hesitates is lost. Next time, do yourself a favor and make your move. When you’ve met someone awesome, remember what the sage said and do not throw away your shot.

Good luck.

Please send your questions to Dr. NerdLove at his website (www.doctornerdlove.com/contact); or to his email, doc@doctornerdlove.com

DEAR DR. NERDLOVE: Question about sex coming your way! I’m 31/F and I’ve been in a happy and healthy relationship for the last 10 months or so. I love this guy–he’s sweet, caring, we have so much in common, and I just love spending time with him. Things are going so well that it kind of blows my mind. We’ve got good communication and talk about everything–our needs/worries, what we want, etc. We’re very compatible in so many ways. And we have really good sex that leaves us both satisfied.

At least until now.

I’m realizing that “new relationship energy” is fading a little for me, and my desire has waned. I’m still very attracted to him, but that “I can’t keep my hands off you” energy has gone a little. I still enjoy kissing and sex–it still leaves me very satisfied! But it doesn’t always have that passion we had in the first six months. It’s a little routine now. Here’s my main worry: sometimes I feel like I don’t get as aroused as I used to. We’re using more lube now when we didn’t need it before (and I know using lube is totally normal), and somehow I feel like it’s my fault for not getting turned on enough. I know what kinds of foreplay turn me on, and I’ve told him, but sometimes it still doesn’t work.

Kissing usually helps me get turned on, but my partner has a different kissing style than me. It’s something that I’ve noticed from the beginning, and it doesn’t quite turn me on the way past partners’ kisses have. I feel so bad about that. I’m scared to say something to him because I don’t want him to feel bad. He’s sensitive so I know he would feel bad about himself. And his kissing is in no way a deal breaker for me. But lately I have a lot more anxiety creeping in when we do have sex, and I constantly ask myself, “Why aren’t I turned on more?” I’m in my head so much that it’s making it hard for me to enjoy sex. And then I get nervous and start asking if HE’S enjoying sex because I don’t know that I fully enjoy it all the time.

What can I do? How can we keep that spark alive?

Thanks!

Jumpstart Needed

DEAR JUMPSTART NEEDED: One of the truths about relationships is that desire for a partner does fade over time. This isn’t necessarily an indication of problems; it’s just part of how humans are wired. We’re a novelty-seeking species, and the first year or so with a new partner is very much part of the “getting to know you” phase. That New Relationship Energy comes about because being with someone new means our bodies are firing dopamine and oxytocin straight into the pleasure centers of the brain. But unfortunately, we’re also incredibly adaptable and we can get used to anything. This is known as “hedonic adaptation”; literally, the more exposed we are to something, the less exciting it becomes because we’ve gotten used to it. This is why even banging the hottest of the hot becomes… well, just the status quo to us. But when we hook up with someone new… well, suddenly it’s all fireworks and explosions in your heart and pants again.

However, running into this problem 10 months into a new relationship is not typical. While yes, there are folks for whom the initial excitement fades quickly — and that’s normal for them — the fact that it’s not part of your usual pattern suggests that there’s an issue.

Now, part of the problem is the anxiety. Like I told PIED In The Face recently, anxiety around sexual performance is a self-perpetuating cycle. Your anxiety gets in the way, keeps you from enjoying the sex or getting as aroused as you normally do, so you get anxious about having sex, which keeps you from enjoying the sex you’re having or getting as aroused as you normally do. When the anxiety inhibits your enjoyment and creates more anxiety, the obvious answer is to figure out what’s causing the anxiety and address that to break the cycle.

It seems that a core issue here is that you are worried about bringing these concerns up with your partner. While I understand that he’s on the sensitive side and you don’t want to make him feel bad, not saying anything is counterproductive. I mean, think of it from his perspective. If he’s a caring lover who’s concerned about your pleasure — and I presume he is — then how upset would he feel to know that you’ve been having these issues and never told him? Especially if it’s something that he could have been helping you with?

The kissing issue is actually a great place to start. This is a solvable problem, but it’s not one that he’s going to be able to divine out of thin air. He’s going to need some direction to know exactly how you like being kissed. The key here is the way you present this information to him. If you roll it out as “ok look, I was willing to put up with you kissing technique until this point, but now it’s a problem,” then yeah, it’s gonna hurt his feelings. On the other hand, if you present this as “hey, let me show you something I’d like more of….” and then demonstrate it — along with some appropriate encouraging noises and actions — then this is less “your kissing technique sucks” and more “this really turns me on“.

The same goes with the foreplay you like. It’s one thing to tell him once. It’s another to show him — or request it in the moment, for that matter. “Hey, you know what I’d really like?” is one way to draw attention to it. Another is to just straight ask for what you need, right then. If you need him to go down on you like a champ, then you need to make that clear at that moment that this is what you’re craving and anything less than his best effort won’t do. You can phrase it like a challenge, like a contest or even a sexy demand… but you have to use your words to do so.

And here’s the important thing: it’s important that you get in the habit of asking for what you need when you need it, not just once outside of the bedroom and hope that he remembers. I realize that this sounds like training a pet, but changing habits requires reinforcement. That means not being afraid to ask for what you want or need as the need arises, until such a time that he gets that these are the things that get your motor humming and it becomes part of his regular routine. If you ask for it once, he may well pay attention and give you what you need that time… but he may not process that this is an ongoing need and fall back into old patterns, especially if those patterns worked well enough with his previous partners.

But more than anything else, you need to not be afraid to address issues in your relationship or places where you feel things are lacking. That’s something you should get used to doing now; it may feel difficult to bring up at this stage of the relationship, but I can promise you that it’s a hell of a lot more difficult at two years. Or five. And that means that you’re going to be dealing with anxiety and mediocre sex that entire time. Getting started now, when things are still fresh and new, makes it much much easier, and it empowers you to ask for what you need down the line, instead of letting things fester until they become a massive problem.

And to be perfectly blunt: sometimes you need to be willing to risk hurting someone’s feelings when s--t’s going wrong, rather than suffering because you’re afraid to say something. As the saying goes: you need to stop setting yourself on fire just to keep other people warm. Hurt feelings are avoidable most of the time, and heal quickly when they aren’t; making yourself miserable and dealing with s--tty situations, on the other hand, will cause the relationship to rot from the inside out and do all sorts of damage to your own self-esteem and emotional well-being. And to be even blunter: if someone’s so sensitive that the slightest hint that they could be doing things better would shatter them like glass? That’s not somebody you should be in a relationship with. That’s a them problem, not a you problem, and you shouldn’t allow it to become yours.

So if you want to get out of your head and get back to the bed-rocking, headboard-thumping, keep-the-neighbors-up sex you were having before? It’s time to start using your mouth to make him understand what you want, what you need, and what needs to be different. Yes, it may be awkward at first…  but it’s better to power through a moment of awkwardness than years of keeping silent and just making yourself more and more miserable. Speak up now, and your future self will be looking for ways to travel back in time and give you the highest of fives.

Good luck.

Please send your questions to Dr. NerdLove at his website (www.doctornerdlove.com/contact); or to his email, doc@doctornerdlove.com