DEAR HARRIETTE: I was homeless for about two years. Finally, after a few false starts, a housing specialist was able to find me an amazing apartment in Brooklyn, New York. What I realize is that while I was homeless, I did not have to worry about purchasing groceries because the shelter I stayed in provided me with three meals per day. After two years, I went to the grocery store for the first time. While I was walking down the aisles, I stopped in my tracks. I stood still for about 10 minutes, paralyzed, because I didn't know what to purchase. I finally pulled myself together, bought a few items and went home.

Harriette, there are days when I have flashbacks to when I lived in the shelter system, and my past is trying to sabotage my future. I have come so far, but I realize how terrible my life had gotten. I have a job and am getting back on my feet. How do I stay focused on my positive progress without looking back? -- Next Steps

DEAR NEXT STEPS: Congratulations for getting through the system and staying as strong as you have. It is natural to have moments when it is hard to believe how far you have come. Now is a time when your faith is essential. You have made tremendous strides. Instead of trying to avoid your past, make a gratitude list that identifies what you have gone through and where you are today. Express gratitude for being able to go to the grocery store and having money to buy food. Be grateful for your job, which is helping you to be independent. When flashbacks occur, offer thanks for being able to survive the hard times.

Check with the caseworker who helped you to see if there is any mental health support that you can receive from the city to help you work through this transition period.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A few years ago, my daughter moved to New York City to pursue a career in fashion. She is now moving to Los Angeles to pursue her modeling career, and she has secured a couple of campaigns prior to her moving west. I am proud of her because she is taking advantage of every opportunity in front of her, but this presents a dilemma for me. My daughter is my last child to leave the house, and I will have an empty nest for the first time in 23 years. The idea of living in this large house by myself bothers me. I'm thinking about moving to LA start a new life for myself and see what the world has to offer. What are your thoughts? -- Going West

DEAR GOING WEST: It is understandable that you want to downsize your life and make a change since your children will be gone, but following your daughter should be done with caution. Talk to her to see if she welcomes the idea of you moving to LA with her. Your daughter is building her life and exercising her independence. Make sure that you don’t stymie that because of your new insecurities. If she likes your idea, be sure to set up your own life and not be reliant on her.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend who has had a hard time finding work. I recently helped her get a freelance job where I have also been working, and she’s doing pretty well. The problem I have noticed is that she is constantly selling herself, telling stories about things she accomplished in the past. These victories are from 20-plus years ago, and the young professionals she is working with don’t care. I think it hurts her to bring up her past because it highlights her age. We still live in a society that is sensitive to age and gender. How can I suggest to her that she just do her job and stop singing her own praises? -- Helping a Friend

DEAR HELPING A FRIEND: Pull your friend aside and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. As difficult as it may be to bring up this topic, you know that she trusts you, so you are the best person to tell her. Suggest that she stop going down memory lane, and instead stay focused on the work at hand. If she handles a project well and she is asked how she knows how to do a particular task, she should then say she learned it when working on a project that she can describe.

In general, bragging about anything is annoying to those listening. Tell her what you have observed, how you have reacted to her commentary and how you have noticed that others have responded. Chances are, she doesn’t realize the effect of her behavior. She is overcompensating while trying to fit in. Suggest that she just relax and let her work speak for itself.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am blessed to have a mother who is approaching her 90th year. She is fortunate to have quite a few friends her age who are still alive. I guess it’s natural that they are having all kinds of health challenges. Every few months there’s another issue. One has heart palpitations. The other got a pacemaker. Another is losing her memory. One of the few husbands left has inexplicable bleeding issues. And yet they are here. How can we, their children, stay upbeat when their health problems are scaring us? This came up again during the holidays when one of my mother’s best friends was hospitalized on Christmas Day. -- Elder Care

DEAR ELDER CARE: Keeping things in perspective may help. You are so fortunate to have your mother and her friends in your life and doing their best as they advance in their years. You are now in a stage of life where you are having to care for your parents in the ways that they cared for you as a child. Often, elders require lots of hands-on care to manage from day to day.

Perhaps you can create an informal support group with your peers who have elderly parents. As your roles evolve into caregivers, be there for one another to talk about your parents’ issues and your own ability to handle the realities of each day. You can create a group chat, a weekly call or a get-together if you are in the same town. Just talking to each other will help you to feel less isolated.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I belong to a sorority that I joined in college. Many of the women have stayed close over the years, and now I wish I had, too. They tried to keep me in the loop, but I was too busy. Now that a lot of time has passed, I feel uncomfortable trying to work my way back into the mix. They keep reaching out to me, but I worry that they are all close and have been for years, and I am the odd girl out. I don’t remember all of their names, and I feel stupid having to reacquaint myself when everybody else is in sync.

Do you think I should try to reconnect with my former sorority sisters? I have spent my life building my career and see that this has made me isolated, but somehow they did both. I’m feeling like my choices weren’t so smart. Do you think I should take my sorors up on getting back together? -- Sorority Life

DEAR SORORITY LIFE: If your sorors are continuing to reach out to you, it is because they genuinely want to be in touch. Believe that their overtures are real. You can re-enter sorority life in increments. Why not reach out to the person you feel closest to? Get together with her in person or on the phone. Tell her you appreciate her reaching out to you over the years, and you want to reconnect. Be honest and let her know that you feel awkward because you don’t really know most of your sorority sisters since you left college. Ask her to help you get reacquainted. Take your time. You don’t have to become everybody’s friend, but it will be nice for you to get close to a few of them and experience the fellowship of sisterhood.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My mom lives thousands of miles away from me, and I visit her once a year. While I’m there, I handle all of the fix-it work around the house. This visit, I noticed that there are some basic things that aren’t getting done. My mom is healthy and strong, but she is getting older -- in her 70s. I see that she hasn’t kept up with little chores like regularly putting out the trash or properly scrubbing the kitchen floor -- things that are important to be handled on a regular basis. I am the only child, and I’m too far away to help her. What do you recommend I do? -- Mom Needs Help

DEAR MOM NEEDS HELP: As our parents age, this is a common challenge. Care starts with the little things and, over time, the needs grow. Look into community support first. Does your mother belong to a church? Perhaps they have a service that supports elders at home. Contact the local government to see what services may be available for your mom. Since she is healthy, the government may not be a viable option.

Look into apps that are available that offer all kinds of a la carte tasks. Check to see if TaskRabbit, Takl or other such services are available in her area. These allow you to order a range of tasks for a particular fee at a specific time. Prices vary depending on the task and the location.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)