DEAR HARRIETTE: Now that the government shutdown is over, we are relieved that my husband will be getting paid again, but we really took a hit during that period. It is going to take time to repair our credit and to get on stable footing.

But worse off than my family are the small businesses in our neighborhood that used to service government employees. I feel so sorry for them, and honestly, I didn’t think about them until I noticed what was happening. The guy who runs the hot dog stand near my husband’s job had virtually no customers for weeks. Same for the diner around the corner. Almost all of these businesses' patrons were government workers. I feel so bad for them. All we can do is start patronizing them again, but they will never gain that lost income. How can we show them support? -- After the Shutdown

DEAR AFTER THE SHUTDOWN: You are wise to realize how devastating the government shutdown was for far more individuals and businesses than government employees. I saw an estimate in Time magazine from Standard & Poor’s of $24 billion lost revenue during the shutdown, reflecting $3.1 billion in lost government services and $152 million per day in lost travel spending, $76 million per day because of National Parks being closed and $217 million per day in lost federal and contractor wages in the D.C. area. And that doesn’t even get to the people you mentioned. The devastation is tremendous and will be long-lasting.

Your empathy for those around you who were affected, along with your own family, is palpable. Humanize each of these scenarios. You may not have any significant dollars to send their way right now, but patronize their businesses when you can, and speak to the business owners whenever you see them. Talk about rebuilding. Listen to their stories, as they listen to yours. A healthy dose of humanity can go a long way in challenging times like these.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got a call out of the blue from the guy I dated when I was in college. He said he wanted to get together for coffee or something. My mouth fell on the floor. What? This man was physically abusive to me. He should have gone to jail for beating me up, but I was stupid and didn’t press charges. I did break up with him, and I never intended to speak to him again.

It was incredibly disruptive for him to call me and act like nothing bad ever happened between us. I asked him if he remembered what he did to me years ago. He admitted that he did, but he said that since so much time has passed, he hoped we could be friends again. I did not agree to meet with him. Do you think I made the right decision? -- Stirring Up the Past

DEAR STIRRING UP THE PAST: You have every right to keep that chapter of your life in the past. Whatever redemption this man seeks is not your responsibility. Do know that he may be involved in a 12-step program that requires participants to attempt to make amends with those they have hurt. This could be why he’s reaching out. Still, you do not have to comply. If he calls again, cordially tell him that you will not be able to see him. The end.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son is a sophomore in high school. He is a great student and generally a good kid. I discovered the other day that he has been smoking weed after finding one of those vape pens in his jacket pocket.

Now, I am no prude. When I was in high school, my friends and I tried it, too. But as a parent, I need to discourage this behavior. I want my kid to continue to be a good student and not to get distracted. Smoking weed can easily distract him from his studies -- not to mention, it is not legal in our state yet. What can I say to him that he will listen to? -- No More Weed

DEAR NO MORE WEED: Sit down with your son and tell him that you want to share your concerns -- without judgment. Be honest. Tell him that you know that he has been smoking weed -- or at least vaping the oil version of it. Make it clear that you do not think this is a healthy or safe choice for him, especially since he is a good student who needs to focus on his studies. Point out that many people who smoke weed get distracted and often spend less time on their homework. Ask him if he thinks that the consequences are worth it. You should also tell him that you tried weed when you were a teenager. Experimenting is normal, but you want to encourage your son to be mindful of what he might try, let alone continue to use.

Tell him you know that you cannot control his actions, even though you can create consequences if he does things that you do not allow. Make it clear that your intention is to protect and guide him to smart decisions based on all that you have learned. You can also encourage your son to do his own research so that he can understand for himself the pros and cons of his actions.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I live in a fairly large apartment building that, unfortunately, has thin walls. Over the past few months, I have heard my across-the-hall neighbors argue on a regular basis. It is disturbing and disruptive for us, because we can hear every word. Worse, though, the other night it sounded like the couple got into a physical fight. It sounded awful and violent. I heard it, but I didn’t know what to do. I hope nobody got hurt, but I’m not sure when to call the police. I don’t want to be that nosy neighbor who possibly gets somebody arrested, but I’m worried for these people. And I’m tired of having to listen to them. -- Violent Neighbors

DEAR VIOLENT NEIGHBORS: If you believe you hear or witness a crime, it is your duty to report it to the authorities. That includes calling the police if you believe that your neighbors are physically fighting. You can submit your complaint anonymously if that will make you feel more comfortable. But think about it for a moment -- you would be sick with grief if you didn’t speak up and either person ended up terribly hurt or even dead. Report it, even if it makes you uncomfortable.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Someone sent me a Facebook message that included a disturbing video. Her preface was that it was horrible and that we, the people she had sent it to, should watch it and share it broadly. I rarely follow these kinds of directions, but I was compelled to watch the video. I am so sorry that I did. The video featured an infant being slapped, beaten and ultimately strangled. It was in close-up and not fake. It was the most horrible thing I have ever seen.

I wrote to the woman who sent it, telling her she needed to report it to the police immediately. When I went back to see if she responded, the whole post was gone. Maybe Facebook took it down. I don’t know. Is there anything else I should have done? I really wish that woman hadn’t posted that video. I can’t get it out of my mind. -- Horror on Social Media

DEAR HORROR ON SOCIAL MEDIA: Some things should never happen, let alone be seen. What you have described is a heinous crime that should never have been posted on Facebook -- or anywhere else. It is likely that Facebook took it down on its own.

What you could have done is to report the video yourself to Facebook by looking for their reporting link. Then you could call the police and point them to what you saw.

According to an article by journalist Kellie Cowan, "Suspicious content should be reported to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. The agency has a secure cyber tip line (missingkids.com/gethelpnow/cybertipline) or you can call 1-800-843-5678. It will alert the right people while ensuring a tipster stays on the right side of the law and is not unwittingly re-victimizing the child by spreading images of their abuse."

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son turns 18 this year, and I want him to get involved in the political process. He is interested and has been since he was in middle school. My husband and I are longtime Democrats, and we participated in the last presidential election, canvassing for Hillary Clinton, often bringing our son along.

Now that Democratic candidates are throwing their hats in the ring for the 2020 presidential election, there are many people to consider supporting. How can I help to guide my son’s choices during this time? -- Son in the Game

DEAR SON IN THE GAME: You should not try to point your son toward a particular candidate. Instead, encourage him to do his own research about each of them so that he can make informed choices as the race builds momentum. He should research candidates on both sides of the aisle, too.

When he is equipped with details about each candidate’s positions on important matters, he will be ready to make an informed decision. That’s how you can guide him.

You can also debate the issues with your son and engage him as he learns about the people who are running. The more you know, the better you will be able to demonstrate to him what you believe and how much research you have done.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)