Q: My son is a kindergartner. The school nurse called saying he had been tardy three days and absent four so far this year and asked if she could help make his attendance more regular. I'm a single working mom. The bus comes early and mornings are stressful. What's the big deal if a kindergartner misses a little school?

A: It's potentially a very big deal. The school nurse's outreach is the result of some sobering data. Kids who are frequently absent miss essential instruction and can quickly fall behind their peers.

Missing a lot of class time -- even in kindergarten -- can increase the risk of dropping out from high school. The school nurse is trying to help you nip a problem in the bud.

A longitudinal study of Rhode Island students shows that chronically absent kindergartners were twice as likely to be held back a year in elementary school. They lagged their peers on reading tests by 20 points and on math tests by 25 points in later elementary grades.

Another collaborative study by education nonprofits Attendance Works and the Healthy Schools Campaign estimates that 1 in 10 kindergartners misses at least 18 days of classes, or nearly a month of schooling, per year.

"Too many parents still think kindergarten is just play, but we teach early reading and math concepts," explains Marcie Johnson, a southern California kindergarten teacher. "Instruction is sequential. One day's learning builds on the previous day's. A child who misses one day can catch up. One who misses a week or more has a much harder time, and needs considerable support."

During September, Attendance Awareness Month, many schools reach out to parents to help them establish consistent patterns of attendance and to suggest logistical support and health services that can cut down on absences. (Some schools even enlist celebrities to do "wake up" calls to students.)

Attendance Works, which is a national and state initiative that promotes better policy and practice around school attendance, offers practical advice to parents:

-- Establish and stick to basic routines that will help children develop the habit of on-time attendance (going to bed early, waking up on time, being organized to get out the door).

-- Talk to your children about why going to school every day is critically important, unless they are sick. If your son seems reluctant to go to school, find out why and work with the teacher, administrator or after-school provider to get him excited about going.

-- Create back-up plans: Can you turn to another family member, a neighbor or a fellow parent to help you get your son to school if an emergency comes up?

-- Reach out to the school for help if you are experiencing tough times such as a transportation problem, loss of a job, unstable housing or health problems that make it difficult to get your son to school. Other parents as well as your son's teacher, principal, social worker, school nurse, after-school providers or community agencies can help you and connect you to needed resources.

-- If your son is absent, work with his teacher to make sure he has an opportunity to learn and make up for the academics he missed. For more ideas, go to attendanceworks.org and healthyschoolscampaign.org.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Our district is adopting a new "social and emotional" skills program to improve classroom behavior. I agree that disruptive students are a problem, but with all the new stuff schools are loading on (e.g., STEM, Common Core), do kids really need one more thing?

A: Social and emotional leaning (SEL) is coming to many districts this fall. While the phrase may sound buzzy, SEL programs can not only help kids hone interpersonal skills and impulse control, they can boost students' academic success and improve their health.

Even teachers wary of adding more to the school day say SEL is a worthwhile addition because, if well taught, SEL cuts discipline problems and distractions. In a recent survey, more than 90 percent of teachers said they want schools to help kids develop their social skills and build good character.

Roger P. Weissberg, a University of Illinois at Chicago professor of psychology and education, is chief knowledge officer at the Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning (casel.org), a Chicago-based organization that works to bring SEL into schools. Weissberg and his colleagues have worked with many districts to integrate SEL into the school day.

"Each district has their model of integrating the program with other priorities, so it's not an add-on," he explains, "but a way to strengthen things they're already doing."

Weissberg and his colleagues reviewed the effectiveness of 213 school-based SEL learning programs reaching 270,000 students. Their research shows that the programs produce notable gains in kids' social skills, behavior and academics.

An effective SEL program teaches five core competencies that students learn to apply in daily interactions, says Weissberg.

-- Self-awareness: How to accurately assess one's feelings, interests, values and strengths.

-- Self-management: How to handle stress and express emotions effectively; control impulses; set and monitor progress toward goals.

-- Social awareness: How to see things from another's perspective; appreciate individual and group similarities and differences; recognize and use family, school and community resources.

-- Relationship skills: How to establish and maintain healthy relationships; resist inappropriate social pressure; prevent and resolve interpersonal conflict; seek help when needed.

-- Responsible decision-making: How to make rational decisions based on standards, safety concerns, social norms and respect for self and others; contribute to one's school and community.

All "emotional intelligence" begins at home, says Bill Jackson, the president and founder of GreatSchools, an education resource for parents. "Parents have a key role in teaching and reinforcing these skills."

Working with the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, GreatSchools created a set of tools called Emotional Smarts to "help parents help their children build character and shape valuable life skills," says Jackson.

The online tools include videos to help parents see issues like homework and sibling rivalry from their child's perspective; a game to help children understand and recognize emotions; and ways to explore "feeling words" in a fun way. For more information, go to ei.yale.edu or greatschools.org.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: Our school sent home the usual memo saying "keep screen time to a minimum" and "read with your kids." I get that reading is important, but our two kids, ages 10 and 11, love video games. There must be some educational value, no?

A: Games -- video or otherwise -- can excite and challenge learners. For decades, teachers have successfully used games to teach and reinforce concepts.

"Play is the way the human brain is wired to learn," agrees Mitch Weisburgh, co-founder of Games4Ed (games4ed.org). "Virtually all kids today play video games, so we need to find appropriate games for learners and teach them to avoid the pitfalls of gaming."

Weisburgh describes five ways well-designed games can motivate kids and support learning:

-- Games are an optimal learning environment. They promote concentration and control, provide a fun way to practice skills and elicit effort that a student might not otherwise put forth.

-- Games focus on the sweet spot for learning. They push players beyond what they can do.

-- Games get kids to persist. "They engage players through a quick cycle of challenge-act-learn-accomplish," Weisburgh says, "so that the hard work of learning is intrinsically rewarded, and the learner wants to continue playing and learning."

-- Games encourage trial and failure. Players fail more than they succeed, "but," Weisburgh says, "failure only means that a particular approach failed."

-- Games offer great real-world simulations. NASA games put kids on missions to Mars. "Zoo U" improves students' social literacy without risky behaviors. In "Mission US," students play roles at key turning points in U.S. history. In "iCivics," students become senators.

In "sandbox games, like 'Minecraft,' players build surroundings and then interact with others within their surroundings," says Weisburgh. "There are history games, like Sid Meier's 'Civilization,' that involve strategy and planning. There are games where kids build games, like 'Globaloria,' 'Scratch' and 'GameSalad.'"

Parents play a critically important role in gaming, stresses Weisburgh.

"They need to make sure that their kids get enough physical exercise, are socializing, stay safe (parents should monitor for sex and violence in games, as well as who their kids interact with online) and aren't wasting hours," he says. "You can only do this by spending time with your kids when they are on their games."

Ask your kids questions such as, "What is the purpose of this game?" "What are you trying to do?" "Why do you like this game?" "What are you learning?"

If their answers suggest that your kids' time might be better used, have them show you another game that they like, advises Weisburgh.

"Kids, especially those of your kids' age, are very forthcoming," he explains. "They will learn to choose games wisely from your guidance -- and will be thrilled that you are taking an interest."

Find appropriate games at GameUp, BrainPOP's site for free educational games, and Graphite, a website that reviews and rates education games. Most libraries subscribe to Children's Technology Review, a monthly evaluation of new educational software (childrenstech.com).

And about your kids' reading? I'm glad that you "get it" -- don't let your kids go a day without it.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)