Q: Our district's choice program offers four kindergarten enrollment options for our son. The classes I've visited seem too academic, with very little play. My son can't sit still, and he's a long way from reading. He'll turn 5 a few days from the cutoff date, so we're thinking of holding him back. What are the benefits and drawbacks?

A: More parents are exploring delaying kindergarten, especially when a child is a "young 5." Data from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) show that two decades ago, 9 percent of parents held their children back. Today, according to a recent study from Stanford University, about 20 percent of children enter kindergarten at age 6 instead of age 5.

Some refer to this practice as "academic redshirting" -- a strategy borrowed from sports -- where parents delay a child's entrance into kindergarten in order to allow extra time for socio-emotional, intellectual or physical growth.

What explains the increase? "I think redshirting has taken a new turn because of the Common Core," says literacy expert Dr. Michael Milone. "The kindergarten experience has morphed into first or second grade, unfortunately. Many parents and teachers are expressing strong opinions about the loss of kindergarten. So I'm all for redshirting to ensure that kids get a decent childhood."

Research hasn't provided conclusive guidance about delaying enrollment in kindergarten. There is data showing that early maturity differences have long-lasting impacts: Children who are less mature at the start of kindergarten tend to have lower grades throughout their school careers than those who were more mature. Some studies show that the least mature members of each class were less likely to attend university.

One new study is worth paying attention to, says Milone. It suggests that kids who have a later start show significantly lower levels of inattention and hyperactivity.

"The benefits were found to persist even at age 11," he says. "This is significant."

The study, "The Gift of Time? School Starting Age and Mental Health," published in October 2015 by the National Bureau of Economic Research, provides strong evidence of mental health benefits in delaying kindergarten. (For more information, go to nber.org.)

Study co-author Thomas Dee of the Stanford Graduate School of Education says in a school press release that the findings show "that delaying kindergarten for one year reduced inattention and hyperactivity by 73 percent for an average child at age 11."

Dee adds, "It virtually eliminated the probability that an average child at that age would have an 'abnormal,' or higher-than-normal rating for the inattentive-hyperactive behavioral measure."

How is a parent to decide whether to hold a child back? "Consider your son's physical, emotional and academic readiness," says Milone. "Consult with his preschool teacher and discuss his kindergarten readiness screening with kindergarten teachers. Ask about class size and the skills each school expects of entering kindergarteners; is it formal or more informal with learning centers?"

If holding him back seems like the best option, decide what your son will do instead of kindergarten to keep him challenged. Ask if your district offers a bridge program between pre-K and kindergarten to keep your son on track academically and developmentally.

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: We have two girls, one in sixth grade and the other in fourth. The older one excels in all subjects. The younger one is more average. My spouse and I argue about how much we should push her to get better grades. I want her to have higher expectations so she gets into a good college. My spouse says, "Why pressure her?" What do you think?

A: I agree with your spouse. Too many parents think the road to college starts in preschool and that every grade along the way counts.

But as Paul Tough explained in "How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character" (Mariner Books, 2013), it's the traits and habits of mind that children form in elementary school -- self-control, goal-orientation, responsibility, persistence and resilience -- that matter most later on.

"I can usually predict which of my fifth-grade students will succeed in high school -- not by their grades, but by how they assume responsibility for their own learning," says San Jose, California, educator Bill Laraway. "Too often, parents focus only on grades and lose sight of how important social interaction and networking play in academic performance."

Kyle Redford, a teacher at Marin Country Day in Corte Madera, California, writes in a blog post for Education Week that she has seen a definite shift in parental attitude. "Parents have gone from understanding that children have innate strengths and challenges to believing that their children should be strong in all areas," she says. "This has led to a proliferation of tutors hired to give students an edge with any subject that doesn't come easy."

Assuming that your daughter is working to her potential, that she has no learning difficulties to be addressed, and that she's developing the self-management and study skills essential to becoming a successful student, embrace her accomplishments, advises Laraway.

"And," he emphasizes, "never compare her performance unfavorably to her sister's."

Accepting a child's academic shortcomings is sometimes tough, concedes Redford. "How much struggle or challenge should we accept?" she writes. "When do we allow a student to be satisfactory at a skill? How do we comfortably define satisfactory? If we accept average performance, are we giving up on the student, or, worse yet, applying a 'fixed mindset' when considering their potential and possibilities?"

Redford, who is also the education editor for the Yale Center for Dyslexia and Creativity, encourages teachers to have these "messy but important" talks with parents.

When we push students to do better, she says, we need to ask at what cost.

"Children only have so much time in a day," Redford explains. "There is definitely a point of diminishing returns when it comes to spending time addressing less-than-perfect academic areas."

Melissa Chen, a college consultant in the San Francisco Bay Area, tells high school students to forget perfection. In a piece for The Huffington Post, she says that if students can save hours by earning B's instead of A's in their hardest classes, they should. With the time gained, they should find out what "their true hobbies are, to develop passions and intellectual curiosities."

This makes them more interesting, "which can help their (college) application stand out in a crowd," adds Chen. "Taking a step back has obvious intrinsic benefits, too, which will last much longer than any given application cycle."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)

Q: My fourth-grade daughter is less successful in math than other subjects. I'd like to help, but the Common Core approach is different than mine. She needs to nail her times tables. Will I confuse her if I work with her?

A: It's useful for children to learn that there's more than one way to understand a math problem, says Marilyn Burns, one of the nation's top math educators. "If your daughter ever seems confused about your approach, confer with the teacher."

One important way to help with math homework is to ensure it's complete, writes Dr. Jason Zimba in a post on edexcellence.net. Zimba, a lead writer of the Common Core State Standards for Mathematics, encourages parents to look over homework. If you spot an error, ask your daughter to do the problem again. If everything is correct, select a problem and ask her to explain how she got the answer. If a question is left blank, pull up a chair to talk about it.

He advises parents to take a common-sense approach, asking a child to "tell me what you know so far about this problem." After that, Zimba writes, "If it's a word problem, we might act it out; if it's a computation, we might warm up with a simpler version of the problem."

When it comes to times tables, Common Core standards expect students "to know their sums and products from memory and to be fluent with the standard algorithm for each of the four basic operations," says Zimba. "These expectations are unlikely to be met without extensive practice."

In the Zimba household, math practice is part of "Saturday School," a routine that he calls "weekly exercise for the whole family's brain." Zimba uses flash cards, digital apps such as Math Drills and games he creates. Find those on his blog jzimba.blogspot.com.

There's not enough time in class to nail math facts, agrees Nancy Bourne, the STEM coordinator for the Palm Beach County (Florida) School District. "Parents are essential in providing the practice kids need to achieve 'automaticity' -- the ability to retrieve times tables automatically, so when solving problems kids don't have to stop and figure out, 'Now, what is 7 times 6 again?'"

She has a few tips for parents:

-- Remind kids of helpful patterns and rules such as when multiplying by five, the product will always end in five or zero; or the commutative property rule, stating that no matter the order, you still get the same answer.

-- Make the goal fast retrieval. "Even with all the tricks, most kids still have to practice a lot to be speedy," says Bourne. "Websites such as multiplication.com, sumdog.com and apps such as Brownie Points can help. Don't drill until boredom, though. Five minutes a night goes a long way to enshrining these in the brain forever."

-- Point out the math in daily life. "Doubling a recipe?" Bourne says. "Ask your daughter to do it. Have her estimate the total cost of items in your shopping cart before checking out."

Just remember this important advice from math educator Burns: "Children do best when teachers and parents are partners. This doesn't happen enough with math."

(Do you have a question about your child's education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)